Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer grammatically correct, more natural and add a brief specific reason or memory. Use past simple and one supportive detail. Avoid contradicting statements. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I used to enjoy running around and feeding the ducks with my family because it felt relaxing and fun. However, in my town there were few proper parks, so we often visited small green spaces near our school.

提案: Answer directly and correct grammar (use present simple). Give a clear reason and one linking phrase for coherence. Use natural expressions for preferences and feelings.

例: Not really — now I prefer quiet places like my room because I find them more relaxing. For example, I enjoy reading there in peace rather than being in a busy park.

提案: Be careful with coherence: the question asks about desire for more parks, so answer directly. Use linking words and provide a specific reason or consequence. Correct repetition and phrasing.

例: Actually, I would like to see more parks in my city because children currently play in the streets, which is less safe. Therefore, having proper parks would give families a safer place for outdoor activities.

提案: Make the sentence concise and grammatically correct. Use future tense correctly and give a specific example of activities you would do with your children. Keep to one topic sentence plus a supporting detail with a linking word.

例: Yes, in the future I would like to take my children to a nearby park to play on the swings and have picnics. For example, I imagine teaching them to ride a bike there because it would be safe and enjoyable.

× Yes, when I was a child, I really want to go to the park, but here in our country we don't have a park.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I really wanted to go to the park, but here in our country we didn't have a park.

The sentence mixes past time reference 'when I was a child' with present tense 'want' and 'don't have'. Use past tense 'wanted' for desire in the past and 'didn't have' for possession/state in the past. Suggestion: keep verbs consistent with past time frame.

× Now that I am older, I don't want to go to the to the park because I really want a quiet place. I think in my room like that, something that peaceful because it comfort me.

✓ Now that I am older, I don't want to go to the park because I really want a quiet place. I think my room is like that: it is a peaceful place because it comforts me.

Multiple errors: extra definite article 'the to the park' (remove duplicate 'the') and maintain present tense 'don't want'. The clause 'I think in my room like that, something that peaceful' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'I think my room is like that' and use adjective 'peaceful' with verb 'is'. 'Comfort me' should be third person singular 'comforts me' because subject is 'it'. Suggestions: avoid redundant articles, form full clauses (subject + verb), and keep subject-verb agreement.

× I don't think so, because here in our country we don't. We don't have a park. So the kids here are just playing around with our neighborhood without park.

✓ I don't think so, because here in our country we don't. We don't have a park. So the kids here just play around the neighborhood without a park.

'Are just playing' can be simplified to present simple 'just play' for habitual action. 'Playing around with our neighborhood' is incorrect preposition/phrase; use 'play around the neighborhood'. Add article 'a park' after 'without' to be grammatical. Suggestions: use correct prepositions and include articles where required; use simple present for habitual activities.

× I guess so maybe in the future when I have a kids I might bring them to the park because when I was a kid I want to go to the park, so maybe they also want to go to the park to play.

✓ I guess so. Maybe in the future when I have kids I might bring them to the park, because when I was a kid I wanted to go to the park, so maybe they will also want to go to the park to play.

'A kids' is incorrect: 'kids' is plural so remove 'a'. Use past tense 'wanted' for past desire. For future intention of the children, use 'will also want' to match future context. Suggestions: match singular/plural correctly and keep verb tenses consistent with time references.