Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more grammatically correct, concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'rehashing', 'going to park').

例: Yes — I loved going to parks as a child. For example, every weekend my family visited the local park where my siblings and I played on the swings and slides. Those visits are fond memories because we spent hours laughing together and enjoying the fresh air.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and then explain the change with specific reasons. Correct grammar (use present simple or present continuous properly), avoid filler sounds, and finish sentences fully (e.g., 'fresh air'). Use a linking word to contrast past and present.

例: Not as much as before, but I still visit parks occasionally. While I used to go mainly for the playground, now I go to relax and enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and fresh air, especially on weekends.

提案: Give a direct answer, then support it with a clear reason and a specific example. Remove hesitations and unclear references (e.g., 'TA'). Use linking words like 'for example' or 'for instance' to make your point coherent.

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they provide green space and places to relax. For instance, my friends and I often plan after-work visits to new parks such as Minara Park to unwind and get some exercise.

提案: Answer directly and include one or two specific parks or activities you want to try. Correct grammar and word choice ('its', 'parkers' should be 'parks' or 'park staff/services'), and explain what services you mean (e.g., free classes, concerts).

例: Yes, I want to visit a few parks to explore their green spaces and facilities. For example, I plan to visit Riverside Park to try the free yoga classes and Botanical Park to see the flower displays and guided tours.

× Absolutely one of my favorite things to do on weekends with my family was going to park as a child and I still rehashing these memories with my siblings.

✓ Absolutely, one of my favorite things to do on weekends with my family was going to the park when I was a child, and I still rehash these memories with my siblings.

Missing definite article before singular countable noun 'park' and unclear timing phrase. Use 'the park' for a specific/common place; change 'as a child' to 'when I was a child' for natural phrasing; add comma and keep verb 'rehashing' corrected in next sentence if needed.

× and I still rehashing these memories with my siblings.

✓ and I still rehash these memories with my siblings.

The original mixes present simple verb 'rehash' with present participle 'rehashing'. Use base verb 'rehash' with auxiliary if needed, but here present simple 'still rehash' correctly expresses ongoing habit.

× We were we were having fun and we were using the playground and enjoying the vibe most of the time.

✓ We were having fun, using the playground, and enjoying the vibe most of the time.

Repetition 'We were we were' is redundant. Simplify structure and coordinate verbs correctly. Listing parallel verb phrases improves clarity and agreement.

× To be honest, I am not as curious about it going to park as I used to be umm but I do still going to park as but the ha but the focus has been cha changed.

✓ To be honest, I am not as interested in going to the park as I used to be, but I still go sometimes; the focus has changed.

Multiple issues: 'curious about it going to park' is unnatural — use 'interested in going to the park.' Missing article 'the park.' 'Do still going' is incorrect verb form; use 'still go.' Remove filler words and correct 'has been changed' to 'has changed.'

× When I was a child I would like to go to parks for the playground but nowadays I would like to go to enjoy the atmosphere and the fresh.

✓ When I was a child I liked to go to parks for the playground, but nowadays I like to go to enjoy the atmosphere and the fresh air.

Tense/mood: use past 'liked' rather than 'would like' for past habitual action. Also add missing noun 'air' after 'fresh' and keep parallel structure 'liked to go' and 'like to go.'

× Absolutely, I have planned to visit umm, several parks in my city with my friend uh.

✓ Absolutely, I have planned to visit several parks in my city with my friend.

Remove filler words. 'Have planned to visit' is acceptable for future-intent plans; no change needed except deleting ums. Ensure singular/plural agreement 'friend' vs 'friends' based on meaning.

× We always after work plan for exploring new places together and one of them is Minara Park.

✓ We always plan to explore new places together after work, and one of them is Minara Park.

Preposition and word order: 'after work' should follow main clause or be placed correctly. Use 'plan to explore' instead of 'plan for exploring' for more natural phrasing.

× We actually agreed on going to the this park, the new park together on TA.

✓ We actually agreed to go to this new park together on TA.

Incorrect article usage 'the this' is wrong; use 'this new park.' Use 'agreed to go' not 'agreed on going.' Clarify 'on TA' if it is a time/platform; kept as given.

× There are several parks that I would like to visit with my friend and explore the its green spaces and use its services.

✓ There are several parks that I would like to visit with my friend and explore their green spaces and use their services.

Pronoun mismatch: 'its' refers to singular but 'parks' is plural. Use 'their' to agree with plural antecedent.

× Some parkers are actually serve some free services and we would like to enjoy and experience them together.

✓ Some parks actually offer some free services, and we would like to enjoy and experience them together.

'Parkers' (people who park cars) is incorrect for parks; use 'parks.' Verb form 'are actually serve' is wrong; use 'offer.' This corrects noun choice and verb usage.