Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fix grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition of 'parks' and redundant phrases like 'most of the time'.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My father often took us there, and we would play football and feed the ducks, which made those visits really memorable.

提案: Clarify your meaning and correct grammar. Give a direct answer, explain frequency and reason with linking words (e.g., 'but', 'because'). Keep to 2–3 sentences and avoid contradictions.

例: Yes, I still like visiting parks occasionally, but less often than before because I am busy with work. However, when I have free time I enjoy going to game parks to relax and relive childhood memories.

提案: Be specific and correct names and grammar. Give one clear reason why more parks would be good and add an example of a park you visit. Use linking words like 'for example' or 'besides'.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space and recreational areas for families. For example, we often visit Sami Abdul Rahman Park, but I would like smaller neighborhood parks closer to home.

提案: Make sentences grammatically correct and coherent. State the park you want to visit and why, using linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g., 'my ankle often took us'). Keep to 2–3 clear sentences.

例: Yes, I plan to visit Minara Park because I used to go there as a child and would like to see how it has changed. I also hope to explore any new parks that open in Erbil to discover different walking paths and play areas.

× Definitely when I was a child I enjoyed getting to parks and usually my father took us to parks and we were playing and enjoying the vibe most of the time.

✓ Definitely, when I was a child I enjoyed going to parks, and usually my father took us to parks where we played and enjoyed the atmosphere most of the time.

The phrase 'getting to parks' is unnatural; use the verb 'go' with -ing 'going' after 'enjoyed' to express liking an activity (Grammar type 8). 'We were playing and enjoying the vibe' involves awkward continuous tense and informal noun 'vibe'; simple past 'played and enjoyed the atmosphere' fits the narrative and is more natural.

× Well that's an interesting question. I do actually like game parks now and then, but it depends on the on my free times some.

✓ Well, that's an interesting question. I do actually like theme parks now and then, but it depends on my free time.

'Depends on the on my free times some' is ungrammatical. Use 'depends on' + noun phrase 'my free time'. 'Free time' is an uncountable noun, so not 'free times' (Grammar types 4 and 14). Also 'game parks' likely intended 'theme parks'.

× Most of the time I don't feel like getting out but I actually wanted as I was like a child.

✓ Most of the time I don't feel like going out, but I actually wanted to when I was a child.

Mixes present ('don't feel') with incorrect past desire expression. Use 'going out' after 'feel like' (Grammar type 8) and 'wanted to when I was a child' to express past desire (Grammar type 5). 'As I was like a child' is incorrect; use 'when I was a child'.

× I want to go.

✓ I want to go now.

The sentence 'I want to go.' is grammatical but vague in context; adding 'now' clarifies current desire and matches preceding contrast with not feeling like going (Grammar type 6). If no change desired, it's acceptable.

× Yes, I would like to explore more parks in our city. There are lots of big parks around Erbil and one of the famous one is same Abdul Rahman Che Sami Abdur Rahman and this is what we usually go there.

✓ Yes, I would like to explore more parks in our city. There are lots of big parks around Erbil, and one of the most famous is Abdul Rahman Che Sami Abdur Rahman; we usually go there.

Problems: 'one of the famous one' is redundant; use 'one of the most famous' (Grammar type 17/25). 'same' and repeated name are unclear. 'This is what we usually go there' mixes structures; correct to 'we usually go there.'

× Beside that I haven't actually explored many parks around the city but I'm trying.

✓ Besides that, I haven't actually explored many parks around the city, but I'm trying to.

Use 'Besides that' (or 'Besides') as a connector and add commas for clarity. Tense and structure are acceptable otherwise (Grammar type 16/26).

× There are some parks that I have planned to visit.

✓ There are some parks that I plan to visit.

'I have planned to visit' suggests completed planning; 'I plan to visit' is more natural for future intentions. Both are grammatical, but present simple for planned future actions is common (Grammar types 6 and 12).

× One of them is Minara. When I was a child, my ankle often took us to there and it's been a while that I haven't actually visited there.

✓ One of them is Minara. When I was a child, my uncle often took us there, and it's been a while since I actually visited it.

'my ankle' is likely a misspelling of 'my uncle' (pronoun/noun error, Grammar type 12). 'took us to there' is ungrammatical; use 'took us there.' Use 'it's been a while since I visited it' rather than 'it's been a while that I haven't actually visited there.'

× For new parkers. I think I have seen all the parkers in ervil City, but there might be new parkers then there will be.

✓ As for new parks, I think I have seen all the parks in Erbil City, but there might be new ones in the future.

Multiple errors: 'For new parkers' should be 'As for new parks' and 'parkers' is incorrect word choice (Grammar types 1 and 13). 'ervil' is a misspelling of 'Erbil' (capitalization). 'there might be new parkers then there will be' is ungrammatical; use 'there might be new ones in the future.'