Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence variety. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, avoid repetition, and add a specific supporting detail (what games or activities). Use linking words like "and" or "so" appropriately and keep answers concise (2–3 sentences).

例: Yes, I loved going to the park as a child because I often played football and tag with my friends. As a result, I felt energetic and refreshed after spending the afternoon outdoors.

提案: Use present tense consistently and avoid awkward phrasing. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail and a linking phrase. Reduce repetition of "park" and tighten the sentence structure.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because evening walks in cool weather help me relax. For example, I often sit on a bench and read, which clears my mind after a busy day.

提案: Correct word choice and grammar: use "parks" not "party". Give a concise opinion and a specific reason with a linking word (e.g., "because" or "therefore"). Mention one concrete benefit (e.g., cleaner air, green space).

例: Yes, I would definitely like more parks in my city because they can reduce air pollution and provide green space for residents. Therefore, creating several small parks would improve air quality and public health.

提案: Be precise and avoid redundancy (drop repeated place names). Use correct vocabulary ("Rock Garden" capitalized, avoid incorrect words like "Pacific park"). Give one specific reason why you want to visit (e.g., sculptures, design) and link ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Rock Garden in Chandigarh because it is famous for its unique sculptures made from recycled materials. I have seen photos online and I want to see the creative designs in person.

× Yes, as a child I like to go to the park because after going to the park I enjoyed there a lot with my many friends.

✓ Yes, as a child I liked going to the park because I enjoyed it a lot with my many friends.

Mix of present and past tenses: 'as a child' requires past tense. 'I like' should be 'I liked'. Use the gerund 'liked going' for habitual past action. 'enjoyed there a lot' is incorrect word order and pronoun use; replace with 'enjoyed it a lot'. Also omit unnecessary 'the' before 'many friends'. Use consistent past tense for clarity.

× I also played many games there because it makes me feel refreshed.

✓ I also played many games there because it made me feel refreshed.

Mix of past and present: the clause describes past activities so the result clause must be past: 'it makes' should be 'it made'. Maintain consistent tense within the sentence.

× Yes, I still like to go to the park now because by going to the park I feel refreshed and especially in the evenings when the weather was pleasant, it became very relaxed to go to the park.

✓ Yes, I still like to go to the park now because it refreshes me, and especially in the evenings when the weather is pleasant, it is very relaxing to go to the park.

Tense and adjective errors: mix of present and past ('was pleasant', 'became very relaxed') should match present context. Use present simple 'is' and adjective 'pleasant'. 'Relaxed' (feeling) is wrong for describing the activity; use 'relaxing'. Also simplify redundant phrases for naturalness ('by going to the park I feel refreshed' -> 'it refreshes me').

× Yes, I would definitely like to see more party in our city because there is too much pollution in the city.

✓ Yes, I would definitely like to see more parks in our city because there is too much pollution.

Wrong noun 'party' instead of 'parks' (word choice error). Also 'more park' needs plural 'parks' when referring to multiple spaces. Remove redundant 'in the city' at end to avoid repetition. This falls under article/quantifier and noun choice issues.

× So to help with that pollution, more parks must be developed.

✓ So to help with that pollution, more parks should be developed.

'Must' expresses obligation from speaker strongly; 'should' is more appropriate for recommendation. Use modal 'should' for polite suggestion. Tense and structure otherwise fine.

× Yes, I would like to go to the rock garden in Chandigarh because it is very famous park in the Chandigarh.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to the Rock Garden in Chandigarh because it is a very famous park in Chandigarh.

Article and capitalization: proper noun 'Rock Garden' should be capitalized. Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'very famous park'. Remove redundant 'the' before 'Chandigarh'. Maintain present conditional 'would like' is fine.

× I have seen many pictures and videos of that Pacific park on social media.

✓ I have seen many pictures and videos of that park on social media.

'Pacific park' seems incorrect or unnecessary; if referring to Rock Garden, 'that park' is clearer. If 'Pacific' is a proper name, it should be capitalized and clarified. Also avoid repeating specific names incorrectly. The present perfect 'have seen' is correct for experiences up to now.