Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Use correct tense and a clear topic sentence. Start by answering directly in past tense, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Keep it concise and natural (max 5 sentences). Avoid repetition and grammar mistakes such as "I don't like" for past events.

例: Yes, I didn’t enjoy going to parks when I was a child. Mainly, they were always very crowded, so I felt uncomfortable and couldn’t relax. Also, I preferred indoor activities like reading or drawing because I’m more introverted. Therefore I rarely visited parks as a child.

提案: Use present tense for current habits and clear linking words. Give a concise topic sentence about the present, then explain when and why you go, with correct grammar and vocabulary (e.g., "stress relief"). Avoid confusing phrases like "go to work when I was feel like a stressed and parked."

例: Yes, I sometimes go to parks now because they help me relieve stress. For example, when I feel overwhelmed at work I take a short walk in a nearby park to clear my mind. As a result, parks have become an important stress-relief routine for me.

提案: Answer directly and clarify your opinion. Use linking words to explain reasons and be specific about what you want to change (more parks, quieter spaces, safety). Avoid unclear or fragmented sentences and ensure subject–verb agreement.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because existing parks are often overcrowded. If there were more green spaces distributed across neighborhoods, people could visit without traveling far and parks would feel quieter and safer. In short, more parks would improve residents’ quality of life.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence about what you want to visit, then add specific details and reasons using linking words. Use natural vocabulary to describe the landscape and explain why it appeals to you. Keep it concise and cohesive.

例: I don’t have a specific park in mind, but I would love to visit natural areas with green scenery. For example, I enjoy places with still water, dense trees and varied rock formations because they help me relax and feel closer to nature. In the future I hope to visit a national park with those features.

× I don't like to go to the park when I was a child because it is very crowded and I don't like outside.

✓ I didn't like going to the park when I was a child because it was very crowded and I didn't like being outside.

Tense consistency and verb form: The sentence mixes present tense ('don't like') with past time reference ('when I was a child'). Use past tense 'didn't like' for child-time. Use 'going' (gerund) after 'like' when speaking generally about an activity in the past. Use 'was' for 'it was very crowded.' Also use 'being outside' or 'being outdoors' rather than 'like outside' to form a correct verb phrase.

× Sometimes I would go to work when I was feel like a stressed and parked. Nowadays became my stress reliever.

✓ Sometimes I would go to the park when I felt stressed and parked; nowadays it has become my stress reliever.

Multiple past tense errors and word choice: 'feel' should be past 'felt' to match 'would' and past context. 'Parked' is incorrect word choice; likely 'park' or 'parked' is wrong — corrected to 'park.' The second sentence lacks a subject and correct tense: 'Nowadays became my stress reliever' needs a subject and present perfect 'has become' to show a change from past to present. Use a semicolon or separate sentences to join related clauses.

× Park in my country is rather than cities. Is that because they are overcrowded and it would only be quiet when it was night so I would go often during night?

✓ Parks in my country are outside the cities because the cities are overcrowded, and they are only quiet at night, so I often go there at night.

Subject and number agreement and modality: 'Park in my country is rather than cities' is ungrammatical—correct to 'Parks in my country are outside the cities' to express location. 'Is that because' is a question tag not needed; rephrase as statement. 'It would only be quiet when it was night' improperly uses conditional/modal 'would' and past 'was'; use present 'are' or 'are only quiet at night.' 'I would go often during night' is awkward—use 'I often go there at night.' This corrects modality and tense to match general present habits.

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

✓ Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

No correction needed: The original question is grammatically correct. It uses present simple 'want' to ask about future intention, which is acceptable.

× Not a park but a nature view is like in green scenarios. Still waters, more trees, different kind of rocks. That's what would I like to see to be relaxed.

✓ Not a park, but a natural landscape—green scenery, still water, more trees, and different kinds of rocks. That's what I would like to see to relax.

Sentence structure, noun forms, and word order: 'Not a park but a nature view is like in green scenarios' is ungrammatical and awkward. Use 'natural landscape' or 'green scenery.' 'Still waters' should be 'still water' (or 'still waters' is acceptable as a poetic plural) and 'different kind of rocks' should be 'different kinds of rocks.' 'That's what would I like to see to be relaxed' has inverted word order; correct to 'That's what I would like to see to relax' or '...to help me relax.' This fixes word order and noun plurality.