Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần sửa ngữ pháp cơ bản (thì động từ, danh từ số ít/ số nhiều), làm câu ngắn gọn, rõ ràng theo cấu trúc chủ đề — lý do — chi tiết hỗ trợ. Tránh lặp từ và dùng liên từ phù hợp (because, so, which). Thêm cụ thể một hoặc hai chi tiết (ví dụ: chơi trò chơi, chạy bộ) để câu tự nhiên hơn.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were lively and refreshing. I often played on swings and ran around with friends, which made me feel healthy and happy.

提案: Cần dùng cấu trúc ngắn gọn, sửa lỗi chủ-động từ (I yearn for parks → I still enjoy going to parks). Loại bỏ tiếng lắp (uh) và sửa ngữ pháp (air is, parks have). Dùng liên từ để nối ý (and, because, so) và nêu 1-2 hoạt động cụ thể (ví dụ: jogging, exercising).

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I can meet friends and exercise. The air is fresh, and I often jog or use the outdoor fitness equipment to stay fit.

提案: Cần trả lời trực tiếp và logic; sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (more parks, because + complete clause). Tránh ý không rõ ràng (CDs and house?) — thay bằng lập luận rõ ràng: lợi ích xã hội và môi trường, thu hút du lịch. Nêu cụ thể lý do và kết quả mong muốn.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they improve residents' quality of life and provide green spaces for relaxation. More parks can make the city more attractive to visitors and encourage outdoor activities.

提案: Sửa lỗi danh từ số nhiều/ít (this park is), dùng lý do cụ thể và tránh diễn đạt mơ hồ (people say that). Thêm chi tiết cụ thể về những điều bạn muốn làm ở công viên (ví dụ: tham quan vườn, dùng khu vui chơi), và liên kết ý rõ ràng bằng because/so/which.

例: Yes, I would like to visit Tanglin Park because it is green and modern. I want to see its botanical gardens and try the modern play areas and fitness facilities, which look very well maintained.

× Of course, when I was a child, I only want to go to the park, because when I went to the park, I can see many people and the air in the park of a refresh, give a easy, help me more healthy and keep fit and the park.

✓ Of course, when I was a child, I only wanted to go to the park, because when I went to the park, I could see many people and the air in the park was refreshing, which made me feel relaxed, helped me become healthier and keep fit.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. 'want' should be past 'wanted' to match 'when I was a child'; 'can' should be past 'could' to match 'when I went'; 'air ... of a refresh' is incorrect phrase and should be 'air ... was refreshing'; add relative clause 'which made me...' to show result. Suggest keeping past tense consistently when talking about childhood. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× Yes, I still I yearn to the parks now because when I go to the park I can see many friends and I will play with them. Uh, the air in the park are very fresh. Uh, is will have me more healthy and keep fit and the park has many equipment for me to use.

✓ Yes, I still yearn to go to parks now because when I go to the park I can see many friends and I play with them. The air in the park is very fresh. It helps me become healthier and keep fit, and the park has much equipment for me to use.

Errors: extra 'I' removed; 'yearn to the parks' should be 'yearn to go to parks' (verb + place); 'I will play' changed to simple present 'I play' for habitual action; 'air ... are' should be 'air ... is' (singular subject); 'is will have me more healthy' is ungrammatical — use 'It helps me become healthier'; 'many equipment' should be 'much equipment' or 'a lot of equipment' because 'equipment' is uncountable. Advice: use consistent tense for habitual present and correct subject-verb agreement and uncountable noun usage. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× Of course I would like to see more park in our city because. When my city has small park, it will develop my CDs and house and house many people go to my city to visit and it will attract more tourists.

✓ Of course I would like to see more parks in our city because when my city has small parks, it will help develop my community and housing, and many people will come to visit, which will attract more tourists.

Errors: 'more park' should be plural 'more parks'; extraneous period removed; 'When my city has small park' -> 'when my city has small parks' for plural consistency; 'develop my CDs and house and house' is unclear — likely 'develop my community and housing'; missing future construction for people visiting 'many people will come to visit'. Suggestions: use plural nouns when referring to multiple items, and ensure clauses connect logically. Grammar problem type ID: 1

× Yes, I want to go Tanglin Park in the future because this parks are very green and very modern. In the future this park will develop more because has many people say that and the park has many modern equipment for me to use.

✓ Yes, I want to go to Tanglin Park in the future because this park is very green and very modern. In the future this park may be developed further because many people recommend it, and the park has a lot of modern equipment for me to use.

Errors: missing preposition 'to' after 'go'; 'this parks are' should be singular 'this park is' because Tanglin Park is one place; 'will develop more because has many people say that' is ungrammatical — use 'may be developed further because many people recommend it'; 'many modern equipment' -> 'a lot of modern equipment' since 'equipment' is uncountable. Advice: include required prepositions, match singular/plural subjects with verbs, and use natural phrasing for reported opinions. Grammar problem type ID: 11