Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and accuracy, reduce minor errors, and make vocabulary more natural. Use correct past tense forms (e.g., "spent", "pond" lowercase unless proper name), remove unnecessary articles, and avoid slight redundancy. Keep answer to 2–3 concise sentences with a clear topic sentence and one specific detail.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks with my family as a child because we often had picnics there. We spent whole afternoons playing and I especially enjoyed feeding the ducks in the pond.

提案: Make sentences grammatically complete and use linking words for coherence. Correct subject-verb agreement and include a clear topic sentence followed by one supporting detail. Use connectors such as "however" or "so" appropriately.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but recently I have been quite busy, so I do not have much time to visit them. Usually we go on weekends to relax together as a family.

提案: Avoid hesitation fillers (uh, um) and correct number agreement and word choice. Make your opinion clear and give a specific reason or example. Use linking words like "however" or "but" correctly and improve vocabulary ("sufficient parks", "poor infrastructure").

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. However, currently there are not enough well-maintained parks because of poor infrastructure and management, so many existing parks are unusable.

提案: Be concise and factual. Avoid repetition and incorrect phrasing ("newly built up by"). Use a clear topic sentence naming the park and give one or two specific reasons why you want to visit (e.g., features, size, attractions). Check proper nouns and provide accurate, natural phrasing.

例: Yes. I would like to visit Narendra Modi Park in New Delhi because it is a large new urban park with modern landscaping and exhibitions. I am curious to see its gardens and public spaces in person.

× I remember we often spend a whole of afternoons there and I especially enjoyed feeding the ducks in Pond.

✓ I remember we often spent whole afternoons there, and I especially enjoyed feeding the ducks in the pond.

The sentence describes past habitual actions, so the verb should be in the past tense ('spend' -> 'spent'). Remove the unnecessary article 'a' before 'whole afternoons' and use 'the pond' with a definite article and lowercase 'pond'. Also add a comma and conjunction for clarity.

× Usually go on weekends when we can relax together.

✓ We usually go on weekends when we can relax together.

This fragment lacks a subject. Add the subject 'We' to form a complete sentence. The rest of the structure is correct for present habitual action.

× Uh, but there are sufficient park in my city due to bad infrastructure and bad management.

✓ Uh, but there are not sufficient parks in my city due to poor infrastructure and poor management.

The noun 'park' must be plural ('parks') because 'there are' indicates more than one. Also the sentence logic required negation 'not sufficient' (original seemed contradictory). Use 'poor' instead of 'bad' for collocation with 'infrastructure/management'.

× Yes, one park is my dream park which I prefer to go in the future.

✓ Yes, one park is my dream park which I would prefer to visit in the future.

Use the conditional/modal 'would prefer' to express a future desire and 'visit' is the correct verb collocation with 'park' rather than 'go'. This keeps the sentence polite and fits the future context.

× The park name is Narendra Modi Park which is situated in New Delhi which is newly built up by Narendra Modi.

✓ The park's name is Narendra Modi Park, which is situated in New Delhi and was recently built by Narendra Modi.

Use the possessive form 'The park's name' or 'The park is called'. 'Newly built up' is awkward; use 'recently built'. Convert the clause to past passive 'was recently built' because construction is a past action. Combine clauses with 'and' for smoother flow.