Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more grammatically correct, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense errors and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. My parents often took me there on weekends for family outings, and I usually spent most of the time playing games with other children, which helped me make friends.

提案: Provide a direct clear response, fix contradictions and tense usage, and give a short reason with a linking word. Keep it within a few sentences and avoid confusing phrases.

例: Not really. I rarely go to parks now because my work as a nurse keeps me very busy, so I don’t have time for regular visits.

提案: Keep the answer direct and use smoother linking words. Remove filler sounds and be more specific about the benefits. Use plural/singular forms correctly.

例: Yes, I would. I think more parks would be beneficial because children spend a lot of time on mobile phones these days, and having nearby parks would encourage them to play outdoors and socialize with others.

提案: Give a specific example of a kind of park you'd like to visit and explain why, using clear linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., 'numerous parks' → 'numerous parks' placement, remove redundancy) and limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: In the future I would like to visit more community and botanical parks because they offer opportunities to meet people from different backgrounds and learn about local plants and cultures.

× My parents bring me there during weekends as part of our leisure.

✓ My parents brought me there on weekends as part of our leisure.

The context is childhood (past), so past tense should be used (brought). Also use 'on weekends' (fixed preposition for habitual time). Use past simple to match 'Did you like' and 'Yes I did'. Suggestion: Use past simple for past habits: 'My parents brought me there on weekends.'

× Same time is our family bonding.

✓ It was also our family bonding time.

The original lacks a clear subject and verb. Reordering to 'It was also our family bonding time' provides subject 'It' and past tense 'was' to match past context. 'Family bonding' requires the noun 'time' for clarity. Suggestion: Include a subject and verb: 'It was also our family bonding time.'

× So mostly we I spend most of the time playing with other children.

✓ So mostly I spent most of the time playing with other children.

Contains extra pronoun 'we' and wrong tense. In past context use 'I spent'. Remove duplicate words ('mostly' and 'most' can be redundant); keep one: 'mostly I spent time' or 'I spent most of the time.' Suggestion: Remove 'we' and use past tense: 'I spent most of the time playing with other children.'

× No I don't because I don't have much time to visit parks because of hectic schedule since I'm a nurse so I have plenty of time to do that this year.

✓ No, I don't because I don't have much time to visit parks due to a hectic schedule since I'm a nurse, so I haven't had time to do that this year.

Mixed and contradictory tenses: original says 'I don't have much time' (present) then 'so I have plenty of time to do that this year' which contradicts. Also 'because of hectic schedule' needs an article 'a hectic schedule.' To express ongoing lack of time this year, use present perfect 'haven't had time' or adjust to present simple consistently. This correction keeps nurse status and clarifies lack of time this year. Suggestion: Use consistent tense and correct articles: 'I don't have much time to visit parks due to a hectic schedule since I'm a nurse, so I haven't had time to do that this year.'

× Yes, I would like to have more parks to in our city because nowadays people spend much time using their mobile phone, especially the children.

✓ Yes, I would like to have more parks in our city because nowadays people spend a lot of time using their mobile phones, especially children.

Remove extra 'to'. Use 'in our city' not 'to in.' 'Spend much time' is unnatural in this context; use 'spend a lot of time.' 'Mobile phone' should be plural when referring generally: 'mobile phones.' 'Especially the children' -> 'especially children' (article unnecessary). Suggestion: 'more parks in our city' and 'spend a lot of time using their mobile phones.'

× If there are a lot of uh, parks in our city, many children will be encouraged to to play with other people.

✓ If there are a lot of parks in our city, many children will be encouraged to play with other people.

Contains a filler 'uh' and duplicated 'to to'. Remove fillers and duplicates. Structure and tense (will be encouraged) are fine. Suggestion: Remove hesitation and duplicate words: '...encouraged to play...'.

× In the future, I would love to visit a numerous parks because there it is an opportunity for me to meet other people the same time, to socialize with them.

✓ In the future, I would love to visit numerous parks because it would be an opportunity for me to meet other people and socialize with them.

'A numerous parks' is incorrect; 'numerous' does not take 'a'. Remove 'there' and rephrase to 'it would be an opportunity' for clarity and correct tense/modal. Combine clauses with 'and' instead of comma-separated fragments. Suggestion: Use 'numerous parks' and 'it would be an opportunity to...'.

× With them I can meet different people with different culture, the same time I could learn from them.

✓ I can meet people from different cultures, and at the same time I could learn from them.

'With different culture' is incorrect; use 'from different cultures.' Insert 'and' for connection and 'at the same time' for proper phrase. Maintain tense consistency: 'can' and 'could' mixed; choose 'can' or 'will' for future intent. Using 'could' is acceptable for hypothetical but better to use consistent modal: 'I can meet... and learn from them.' Suggestion: Use 'people from different cultures' and join thoughts: 'and at the same time I can learn from them.'