Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve coherence and tense consistency, and avoid small grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently for childhood memories, combine short ideas to reduce redundancy, and add one specific detail (e.g., a memory or feeling) to enrich the answer.

例: Yes — I loved going to parks as a child because my parents took me almost every weekend. I especially enjoyed the swings and slides, and I remember spending hours on the merry-go-round until I was dizzy. Those visits felt special because we often had picnics on the grass, which made the whole day memorable.

提案: Good clear response with relevant supporting details. To reach a higher score, vary vocabulary a bit and use a linking phrase to connect ideas smoothly. Also ensure sentence variety (combine short sentences) and add a brief specific example of what you do while walking to make it more vivid.

例: Yes, I do. I walk my dog in the nearby park almost every early evening, which is the most relaxing part of my day because the greenery and fresh air help me unwind after work. For example, I often sit on a bench to read for ten minutes while my dog sniffs around, which helps me clear my mind.

提案: Clarify and correct inaccuracies (e.g., 'public cities' is incorrect) and improve sentence structure. Use a clear topic sentence, explain reasons with coherent linking words, and give one specific suggestion (e.g., types of parks or facilities). Avoid run-on sentences and ensure pronouns refer clearly to nouns.

例: Yes, I would. My city is surrounded by mountains and there are forests on the city's edge that could be turned into public parks. Creating hiking trails and picnic areas would encourage people to exercise more and help reduce stress, especially for families and office workers.

提案: Strong response with clear reasons and personal detail. To improve further, use a linking word to show priority and add a specific plan or timeframe to make it more concrete. Also vary vocabulary (e.g., 'scenic' -> 'picturesque' or 'tranquil').

例: Yes, I'd like to visit the nearby National Park because it is peaceful and picturesque. In particular, it is pet-friendly, so next month I plan to take my dog there to explore the trails and play in the river for an afternoon.

× My parents would often take me there and I prefer playing on swings and slides.

✓ My parents would often take me there and I preferred playing on swings and slides.

The sentence mixes past habitual action ('My parents would often take me') with a present-tense verb 'prefer'. Both actions refer to childhood, so the verb should be past tense to maintain consistent time reference. Use 'preferred' to match the past context. Suggestion: keep verbs describing past habits in the past tense.

× I can still remember spending hours on a merry go round.

✓ I can still remember spending hours on a merry-go-round.

The main tense is fine ('can still remember' refers to present memory of past event), but 'merry go round' is a compound noun that should be hyphenated as 'merry-go-round'. This is a punctuation/word-formation issue affecting correctness and readability. Suggestion: use standard hyphenation for compound nouns.

× It makes that weekend special and unforgettable.

✓ It made that weekend special and unforgettable.

The speaker is recalling a past event; using present tense 'makes' creates a tense inconsistency. Change to past tense 'made' to match the surrounding past narrative. Suggestion: maintain past tense when describing effects of past events.

× Yes I do. I always walk my dog in the park near my home in early evening almost every day.

✓ Yes, I do. I always walk my dog in the park near my home in the early evening, almost every day.

The meaning is present habitual action so present simple 'always walk' is correct, but the sentence needs minor article and punctuation corrections: include the definite article 'the' before 'early evening' and a comma before 'almost every day' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'the early evening' for a specific part of day and add commas to separate adverbial phrases.

× It is the most relaxing part of my day because the greenery and the fresh air help me unwind after work.

✓ It is the most relaxing part of my day because the greenery and the fresh air help me unwind after work.

This sentence is correct grammatically. No change needed. Explanation: 'the greenery' and 'the fresh air' correctly use the definite article to refer to specific environmental features mentioned; verb agreement and tense are correct. Suggestion: none.

× Yes, I would, since my city is surrounded by mountains and there are many forests on the city's edge that could be converted into public cities, so which would encourage people to exercise more and reduce stress.

✓ Yes, I would, since my city is surrounded by mountains and there are many forests on the city's edge that could be converted into public parks, which would encourage people to exercise more and reduce stress.

Multiple issues: 'public cities' is incorrect word choice; the intended word is 'public parks' (vocabulary). The clause 'so which would encourage...' is ungrammatical: use a relative pronoun 'which' to attach to the preceding noun phrase without 'so'. Also 'on the city's edge' is acceptable but 'at the city's edge' or 'on the city's outskirts' may be better; kept 'on the city's edge' here. Suggestion: replace 'public cities' with 'public parks' and restructure to '...parks, which would encourage...'.

× Yes, I'd like to go to the National Park near my city because it is really peaceful and scenic.

✓ Yes, I'd like to go to the national park near my city because it is really peaceful and scenic.

The sentence is grammatically fine, but 'National Park' need not be capitalized unless it's the official name of a specific park; use lowercase 'national park' for generic reference. Tense 'I'd like' correctly expresses future desire. Suggestion: lowercase common nouns when not part of an official title.

× More importantly, it is pet friendly so I plan to take my dog there to explore the trails and we can play in the river.

✓ More importantly, it is pet-friendly, so I plan to take my dog there to explore the trails and play in the river.

Minor issues: 'pet friendly' should be hyphenated as 'pet-friendly' when used as a compound adjective before a noun. The conjunction 'so' correctly indicates result but needs a comma before it. The clause 'and we can play in the river' is acceptable but 'and play in the river' is more concise and avoids awkward pronoun repetition. Suggestion: hyphenate compound adjectives and use commas before coordinating conjunctions joining independent clauses.