Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cümle yapılarında dilbilgisi ve kelime seçimine dikkat etmelisiniz. Cümlelerin çoğu yanlış zaman, yanlış kelime veya eksik ekler içeriyor (örneğin “allowed” yerine “used to” veya “was allowed to” ve “It's has” yerine “It has” yanlış). Ayrıca bazı kelimeler yanlış kullanılmış veya anlaşılması güç ("loud swings", "tremblings"). Cevabınızı daha doğal yapmak için doğrudan bir ana cümleyle başlayın, ardından 1–2 destekleyici cümle ekleyin ve bağlantı ifadeleri kullanın. Maksimum 5 cümlede kalın ve spesifik örnekler verin (örn. hangi oyunları oynadınız, kimlerle).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. I often played on the swings and slides with my friends, which helped me make new friends. Also, I enjoyed running and playing games like tag because it kept me active and happy.

提案: Cümleleri daha akıcı ve dilbilgisi kurallarına uygun hale getirin. Gereksiz tekrarları ve kelime hatalarını düzeltin (örn. “I don't get I don't go parks” anlamsız). Bağlantı ifadeleri kullanarak nedenleri net ifade edin (for example, "because" ile sebep gösterme). Kısa ve net ana cümle + 1-2 destekleyici cümle yapın. Spesifiklik ekleyin: hangi saatlerde veya hangi aktiviteleri yaptığınız gibi detaylar verin.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but I go less often now because I am busier with work. When I do visit, I usually walk around the park or sit on a bench to relax, which helps me clear my mind after a long day.

提案: İfadelerinizi daha doğal ve doğru sıralamayla kurun; çoğul ve tekil uyumuna dikkat edin ("child" -> "children"). Tekrarlardan kaçının ve fikirlerinizi mantıklı bağlantılarla sunun (örneğin "because" + iki kısa neden). Daha spesifik olun: hangi tip parklardan bahsettiğinizi (oyun alanları, yeşil alanlar, yürüyüş yolları) ve toplum için faydalarını açıkça belirtin.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they benefit children, teenagers and adults by providing safe play areas and spaces for exercise. Parks also give pets room to run and help improve air quality and community wellbeing.

提案: Kelimeleri doğru seçin ve sıralamayı düzeltin ("big tower parks" yanlış ifadedir; "theme parks" doğru terim). "unique talent parks from the other ones" ifadesi anlamsız; bunun yerine "different from other parks" gibi net ifade kullanın. Destekleyici detay olarak hangi bölümleri görmek istediğinizi veya hangi karakterleri sevdiğinizi ekleyin. Cümleleri 2–3 kısa ve mantıklı cümleyle sınırlandırın.

例: I would like to visit famous theme parks such as Tokyo Disneyland or Disneyland Paris because they are very different from ordinary parks. I am excited to see live shows and meet my favorite Disney characters like Mickey and Cinderella.

× When I was a child I allowed going to parks.

✓ When I was a child I used to go to parks.

The verb 'allow' is incorrect here; 'used to' expresses a habitual past action. Also 'going to parks' should be the object; 'used to go to parks' is natural. In Turkish: Burada 'allow' yanlış kullanım. Geçmişte alışkanlık ifade etmek için 'used to' kullanmalısınız; 'used to go to parks' daha doğaldır.

× A child can be socialized while making new friends in parks.

✓ Children can become socialized while making new friends in parks.

Use plural 'Children' to speak generally. 'Can become socialized' is more natural than 'can be socialized'. In Turkish: Genel bir durumdan bahsederken tekil 'A child' yerine çoğul 'Children' kullanılmalı; 'become socialized' ifadesi daha doğal.

× It's has positive effects.

✓ It has positive effects.

Remove the contraction 'It's' followed by 'has' which is ungrammatical. Use 'It has' to indicate singular subject + verb agreement. In Turkish: 'It's has' yanlış bir birleşim; 'It has' kullanılmalı.

× Also I loud swings and slides and jumping on the tremblings especially.

✓ Also I liked swings and slides and especially jumping on the trampolines.

The sentence had wrong words: 'loud' should be 'liked'; 'jumping on the tremblings' is incorrect — likely 'jumping on trampolines'. Maintain past tense 'liked' to match 'When I was a child'. In Turkish: 'loud' yanlış kelime, doğru fiil 'liked'. 'tremblings' anlamsız, muhtemelen 'trampolines' kastedilmiş.

× Yes I still like going to parks but I don't get I don't go parks as much as I go when I was a child because I'm busier now but I still enjoying The Walking around park.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks, but I don't go to parks as much as I did when I was a child because I'm busier now; however, I still enjoy walking around the park.

Remove redundant 'I don't get'; use past reference 'did' for comparison ('as I did when I was a child'); add 'to' after 'go'; 'enjoying' should be 'enjoy' to match present simple; 'The Walking' incorrect capitalization and article use. In Turkish: Fazla tekrar ve yanlış zaman kullanımı var. Karşılaştırma için geçmişte yapılan eylemi 'did' ile ifade edin; 'go to parks' şeklinde 'to' ekleyin; 'enjoying' yerine 'enjoy' kullanın.

× It helps to me relax.

✓ It helps me relax.

Do not use 'to' after 'help' when followed by a bare infinitive/object pronoun in this structure: 'helps me relax'. In Turkish: 'help' fiilinden sonra 'to' kullanmaya gerek yok; doğru kullanım 'helps me relax'.

× Yes I would because parks are good for child, teenagers, also adults and also pets because they are a place to all peoples and animals can be relaxed and get some fresh air.

✓ Yes, I would, because parks are good for children, teenagers, adults, and pets, since they are places where people and animals can relax and get some fresh air.

Use plural 'children'; use commas for list; 'a place to all peoples' is incorrect — use 'places where people and animals can relax'. 'Peoples' is wrong here. In Turkish: Tekil 'child' yerine 'children' kullanılmalı; 'peoples' burada yanlış, 'people' doğru; cümle yapısı 'places where...' şeklinde düzeltilmeli.

× I would like to visit big tower parks such as Tokyo Disneyland or Paris Disneyland because they are unique talent parks from the other ones.

✓ I would like to visit large theme parks such as Tokyo Disneyland or Disneyland Paris because they are unique compared to other parks.

Use 'large theme parks' instead of 'big tower parks'; 'Disneyland Paris' is common name order; 'unique compared to other parks' is clearer than 'unique talent parks from the other ones'. In Turkish: 'big tower parks' anlamsız, 'large theme parks' daha uygun; 'Paris Disneyland' yerine 'Disneyland Paris' daha yaygın; karşılaştırma ifadesi netleştirildi.

× Moreover, I have so many favorite characters from the Disney and I would like to see them lively shows.

✓ Moreover, I have many favorite Disney characters and I would like to see their live shows.

Use 'many' not 'so many' for neutral statement; 'from the Disney' should be 'Disney characters'; 'lively shows' should be 'live shows' and possessive 'their' for shows belonging to the characters. In Turkish: 'from the Disney' yanlış; 'Disney characters' kullanılmalı; 'lively shows' yerine 'live shows' doğru; 'their' ile iyelik eklenmeli.