Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Perbaiki tata bahasa dasar dan kejelasan. Jawaban harus langsung menjawab dengan satu kalimat topik yang jelas, lalu satu atau dua kalimat dukungan. Hindari kata-kata yang tidak jelas atau salah (mis. "faring", "with a child", "maintains the mind brain"). Gunakan kosakata yang relevan dan sederhana, serta struktur yang gramatis.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because they were peaceful and safe. I often played on the swings and explored the trees with my friends, which made me feel happy and relaxed.

提案: Perbaiki tata bahasa (subjek–kata kerja), dan tambahkan detail pendukung yang terhubung dengan kata penghubung. Misalnya jelaskan bagaimana taman membantu mengurangi stres dan berikan satu contoh konkret. Usahakan jawaban tidak lebih dari 4–5 kalimat.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax when I feel stressed. For example, I like to walk among the trees and listen to birds, which calms my mind and helps me concentrate afterward.

提案: Jawaban saat ini terlalu singkat dan berulang. Berikan satu kalimat topik yang jelas lalu satu atau dua alasan spesifik mengapa Anda ingin lebih banyak taman (mis. kualitas udara, tempat rekreasi, ruang hijau untuk anak-anak). Gunakan kata penghubung untuk koherensi.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they improve air quality and provide safe spaces for families. More parks would also encourage people to exercise and spend time outdoors.

提案: Perbaiki kejelasan dan detail spesifik. Jawaban sekarang mengandung frasa tidak jelas dan kesalahan leksikal (mis. "park in eating pork"). Sebutkan satu atau dua taman nyata yang ingin dikunjungi, jelaskan alasannya secara singkat, dan hindari kalimat kacau. Gunakan struktur: topik + alasan + contoh.

例: I would like to visit parks around the world, especially Princes Street Gardens in Edinburgh because of its historic setting and beautiful views. I also hope to visit large urban parks like Hyde Park in London to enjoy the open space and cultural events.

× Yeah, I'm so faring like parks with a child because the place is cozy to maintains the mind brain, they said.

✓ Yes, I used to enjoy going to parks as a child because the places were cozy and relaxing, and people said they were good for the mind.

The original sentence contains multiple issues: wrong word choice ('faring' should be 'used to' or 'enjoy'), incorrect verb forms ('maintains' is wrong in context), incorrect noun usage ('mind brain' is unnatural), and unclear reference ('they said'). This is primarily a sentence structure problem (ID 26) and word choice/grammar mix rather than a single listed category. Suggestion: simplify the idea, use correct past tense for habitual actions ('used to enjoy'), plural agreement for 'places/were', and use 'relaxing' or 'good for the mind' to express benefit. Use clear subject for reported speech: 'people said'.

× I'm still like going to parks now because when I stress I will go to park to refresh my brain.

✓ I still like going to parks because when I'm stressed I go to the park to refresh my mind.

Errors include verb form and tense consistency: 'I'm still like' should be 'I still like' (remove contraction + verb error), 'when I stress' should be 'when I'm stressed', and 'I will go to park' should be 'I go to the park' to indicate habitual action (present simple). Also use 'mind' instead of 'brain' in this context. This fits Present tense and sentence structure issues (IDs 6 and 26). Suggestion: keep present simple for routines and use correct adjective form 'stressed'.

× Yes I will. I want to see more parks in my city.

✓ Yes, I would. I want to see more parks in my city.

The reply 'Yes I will' is unnatural here; the question asks preference about seeing more parks, so 'Yes, I would' or simply 'Yes' is appropriate. This is a modal/response usage issue (ID 4). Suggestion: use 'would' for willingness or 'I do'/'Yes' for agreement. The second sentence is correct.

× I will go to the park around the world, like park in eating pork. It's all it's a beautiful park and this is my dream to Edinburgh Park.

✓ I would like to visit parks around the world, such as the park where people eat street food. They are all beautiful, and it is my dream to visit Edinburgh Park.

Multiple errors: incorrect tense and modality ('I will go' is too definite; prefer 'I would like to visit' for future desire), awkward phrase 'park in eating pork' is unclear—likely intended 'park where people eat street food' or similar, and sentence fragments/wordiness ('It's all it's a beautiful park'). This is a combination of future tense (ID 7) and sentence structure issues (ID 26). Suggestion: express wishes with 'would like' and break ideas into clear sentences; specify the intended example correctly, and use consistent pluralization and verbs ('they are all', 'it is my dream to visit').