Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question directly, then give one or two brief supporting details. Correct tense and vocabulary (e.g., 'I didn't' -> 'I didn't like', 'there was no park'). Use linking words if needed (for example, 'because'). Keep to a maximum of 3–4 short sentences.

例: I didn't really like going to parks as a child. I grew up in a small village and there weren't any parks nearby, so I rarely visited them. Because of that, I spent more time playing in the countryside near my home.

提案: Fix grammar, word choice and sentence structure. Begin with a clear topic sentence such as 'Yes, I still enjoy going to parks.' Give specific reasons and use linking words ('because', 'so') and correct collocations ('fresh air', 'go there often to relax or exercise'). Keep answers concise and natural (2–3 sentences).

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. The nearest park to my village is very peaceful, so I often go there to relax and get some fresh air after work.

提案: Make the answer direct and grammatically correct. Use a clear topic sentence and a reason introduced by 'because' or 'as'. Correct vocabulary ('parks' not 'parts') and word order ('help people relax', 'after a busy day'). Provide one specific benefit or example to support your opinion.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they help people relax after a busy day. For example, parks could provide quiet areas and benches where office workers can take a short break.

提案: Answer directly and clearly. If you have no specific parks in mind, say so and then provide a brief reason or alternative (e.g., 'I don't have a specific park in mind, but I would like to visit larger city parks or botanical gardens in the future'). Avoid fillers like 'umm' and use 1–2 complete sentences.

例: I don't have a particular park in mind at the moment. However, I would like to visit a large city park or a botanical garden in the future to see different plants and landscapes.

× Umm personally I don't.

✓ Umm, personally I didn't.

The student intended to speak about liking parks in childhood, a past context; using present 'don't' is incorrect. Change to past 'didn't' to match the question. Also add a comma after 'Umm' for natural pause.

× I didn't want to green pots as I tried because umm I was when I was tried.

✓ I didn't want to go to green parks when I was tired.

The original sentence has several word choice and word order errors ('green pots' instead of 'green parks', repeated 'tried/ tired', and misplaced clauses). Correct verb phrase 'want to go to', correct noun 'parks', and place the time clause 'when I was tired' at the end to make a grammatical past-tense statement.

× I live in a countryside in a small village so there's no park.

✓ I lived in the countryside in a small village, so there was no park.

The question refers to childhood (past), so verbs and time references must be past tense: 'lived' and 'was'. Use 'the countryside' (fixed phrase) instead of 'a countryside'. Add a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'so'.

× Yes, I still live going to parks.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks.

The verb 'live' is incorrect here; the student means 'like' (preference). Use present simple 'like' to express current habitual preference. Also keep 'still' to indicate continuity.

× I live in a village so nearest park is very close and peaceful and I go there often to work and enjoy the first air.

✓ I live in a village, so the nearest park is very close and peaceful, and I go there often to walk and enjoy the fresh air.

Use commas to separate clauses. Insert definite article 'the' before 'nearest park'. Replace 'work' with 'walk' (likely intended) and 'first air' with 'fresh air'. These corrections make the sentence natural and grammatically correct in present simple.

× Yeah, I definitely like to see more parts in my city because umm umm, parts help people can relax after busy day.

✓ Yeah, I'd definitely like to see more parks in my city because parks help people relax after a busy day.

Correct 'parts' to 'parks'. Use the conditional 'I'd like to see' or 'I would like to see' to express preference; present 'like to see' is also acceptable. Remove the extra modal 'can' after 'help' ('help' should be followed by the base verb 'relax'). Add article 'a' before 'busy day'.

× MMM MMM. For my perspective I don't have any past umm.

✓ Hmm. From my perspective, I don't have any particular park I plan to visit in the future.

The original is unclear and ungrammatical. The question asks about parks the student wants to go to in the future; respond in future-intended structure. Use 'From my perspective' (or 'In my opinion') and supply a clear negative: 'I don't have any particular park I plan to visit.' This keeps tense and meaning consistent with the question.