Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the past-tense consistent, give a concise topic sentence, and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Keep it natural and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because I could play on the swings and slides. For example, I used to meet friends there every Saturday and we would race on the grass, which was always fun.

提案: This is strong: good use of linking phrase and specific examples. To improve further, vary vocabulary slightly and shorten to under five sentences by merging ideas more succinctly.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because being outdoors helps me unwind and lowers my stress; for example, I usually take a long walk or sit by the lake on weekends, which makes me feel calm and refreshed.

提案: Good clear opinion and supporting reasons. Improve by using more precise vocabulary (e.g., 'families' plural) and a linking word to connect reasons more smoothly.

例: Yes, I would. More parks would reduce stress and improve the city's appearance; for example, green spaces near residential areas would give families a convenient place to relax and exercise.

提案: Use consistent tense and clearer sentence structure; combine sentences with linking words and add one specific example of a park you want to visit to make it more concrete.

例: I would like to visit parks in Switzerland in the future because the scenery—spectacular mountains, lakes and well-kept trails—is very appealing; for example, I hope to see the Swiss National Park. I'm also keen to visit botanical gardens and national parks elsewhere in Europe.

× Yes, I like to go to park as a child because I can play in the playground.

✓ Yes, I liked going to the park as a child because I could play on the playground.

Tense and article errors: The question asks about childhood (past), so use past tense 'liked' and 'could' instead of present. Also 'park' requires the definite article 'the' and 'play in the playground' is more natural as 'play on the playground.' Suggestion: Match tense to time reference and use appropriate articles and prepositions.

× Yes, I enjoy going to parks because being outdoor helps me unwind and reduces my stress.

✓ Yes, I enjoy going to parks because being outdoors helps me unwind and reduces my stress.

Incorrect adjective/adverb form: 'outdoor' is an adjective; the adverbial or noun form 'outdoors' is needed after 'being.' Suggestion: Use 'outdoors' when referring to being outside.

× For example, I often take a long walk or sit by the lake on weekends, which makes me feel calm and refreshed.

✓ For example, I often take a long walk or sit by the lake on weekends, which makes me feel calm and refreshed.

No correction needed for grammar; sentence is correct. Included here to show it meets list items but requires no change. Explanation: Preposition use 'by the lake' and tense are appropriate.

× I think more parks would help reduce people's stress and calm the mind, and they would also make the city more attractive.

✓ I think more parks would help reduce people's stress and calm their minds, and they would also make the city more attractive.

Pronoun reference: 'the mind' is generic and mismatches 'people's'; use plural possessive pronoun 'their minds' to agree with 'people.' Suggestion: Ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents.

× For example, having some green spaces near residential areas would give family a place to relax and exercise.

✓ For example, having some green spaces near residential areas would give families a place to relax and exercise.

Singular/plural and article: 'family' should be plural 'families' to match 'residential areas' and the indefinite article is not used here. Suggestion: Use plural when referring to multiple households or 'a family' when singular and specify context.

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

✓ Are there any parks you want to visit in the future?

Verb choice: 'want to go to' is not incorrect but 'want to visit' is more natural collocation with 'parks.' Tense is present simple expressing future intention; it's appropriate. Suggestion: Use 'visit' for locations to sound more natural.

× I like to visit parks in Switzerland in the future because the scenery there is spectacular mountains, lakes and well kept trails.

✓ I would like to visit parks in Switzerland in the future because the scenery there is spectacular: mountains, lakes, and well-kept trails.

Modal and article/structure: For future desire use 'would like' rather than present 'I like.' Also the original list of scenery needs punctuation and 'well kept' should be hyphenated 'well-kept' as a compound adjective. Suggestion: Use 'would like' for polite future intentions and hyphenate compound adjectives.

× I'm also keen to see some parks in other parts of Europe, especially botanical gardens and national parks.

✓ I'm also keen to see parks in other parts of Europe, especially botanical gardens and national parks.

Minor style: The original sentence is grammatically acceptable. Removing 'some' makes it more natural in this context. Tense and modal 'I'm keen to' are appropriate. Suggestion: Omit unnecessary quantifiers like 'some' when speaking generally.