Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: まず第一に、短く明確なトピックセンテンスを使うこと（例: “Yes, I loved going to parks as a child.”）。次に、Supporting detailsは具体性と文法の正確さを高める必要があります。動詞や冠詞の誤り（“A tag”→“tag”、“run out my energy”→“burn off my energy”）を直し、文をつなぐ際は接続詞（“because”や“so”）を使って論理性を出してください。また、答えは多すぎず5文以内に収め、重複を避けること。

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were a great place to play. I often played tag with my friends, which helped me burn off energy and made afternoons fun. Also, we would sometimes have picnics, so it felt like a small adventure every weekend.

提案: トピックセンテンスは良いですが、文法とコヒーレンスを改善してください。例えば時制と前置詞の使い方（“from”は不要）を直すこと。Supporting detailsは接続詞でつなぎ、理由をもう少し具体的に述べてください。例えばどんな活動をしているのか（walking, reading, exercising）を加えると内容が豊かになります。

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially Yoyogi Park near my house. The park is very spacious, so I often take walks there to relax after a busy week. Sometimes I also sit on a bench and read or do light exercise to clear my mind.

提案: 答えは直接的ですが、表現の自然さと正確さを改善してください（“makes it difficult for me to relax” など）。理由を補足する際は具体例（騒音、混雑、設備不足など）を挙げ、接続詞で論理的につなげると良いです。語彙も“variety of parks”を具体化（small quiet gardens, sports fields）すると説得力が増します。

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city, especially small, quiet gardens and sports fields. Often the parks I visit are crowded, which makes it difficult for me to relax. If there were a variety of parks, I could choose a peaceful spot when I need to unwind.

提案: 内容は良いですが語彙と文法のミスが多い（“one perks”→“one park”/“a Central Park”→“Central Park”/“so variety of beautiful flower”→“such a variety of beautiful flowers”）。理由を具体化し、接続語（“because”の後に具体例）を入れて、2〜3文でまとめてください。また、根拠として映画以外の理由（景観、文化的魅力）も付け加えると良いです。

例: Yes, one park I really want to visit is Central Park in New York. I’ve seen it in films and photos, and I’m fascinated by its mix of natural scenery and city views. I’d love to see the many different gardens and walks there because they look so beautiful.

× I enjoyed playing A tag with my friends.

✓ I enjoyed playing tag with my friends.

The article 'A' is incorrect before the uncountable/indefinite game name 'tag'. In English we do not use an article before names of games. Use 'playing tag'. Suggestion: Remove the article when referring to games (playing soccer, playing chess, playing tag).

× What I liked about that was to run out my energy.

✓ What I liked about that was running off my energy.

After 'liked/about', a gerund (-ing) is required rather than an infinitive to express the activity. Also 'run out my energy' is not idiomatic; use 'run off my energy' or 'burn off my energy'. Suggestion: Use gerunds after expressions like 'What I liked about that was...' and use idiomatic phrases such as 'burn off energy'.

× The park is really spacious, I could unwind after a busy week from.

✓ The park is really spacious; I can unwind there after a busy week.

Tense and preposition errors: 'could' suggests past ability but the question asks about present habit, so 'can' is appropriate. 'after a busy week from' is ungrammatical; use 'after a busy week' and add 'there' to indicate location. Also replace comma splice with semicolon or separate sentences. Suggestion: Use present tense 'can' for current habits and correct prepositional phrase 'after a busy week'.

× I sometimes go to a park, especially near my house, which is called Yoyogi Park.

✓ I sometimes go to a park near my house, which is called Yoyogi Park.

The phrase 'especially near my house' is placed awkwardly and creates a comma splice. Move 'near my house' directly after 'a park' to show which park you mean, and keep the relative clause 'which is called Yoyogi Park'. Suggestion: Place prepositional phrases next to the noun they modify to avoid ambiguity.

× Yes, I'd like to see a variety of parks because every time I visit there, there are plenty of people.

✓ Yes, I'd like to see a variety of parks because every time I visit them, there are plenty of people.

The pronoun 'there' is incorrect as the object of 'visit'. Use 'them' to refer back to 'parks'. 'There' is an adverb of place and cannot replace the object pronoun in this context. Suggestion: Use 'visit them' when referring back to plural noun 'parks'.

× Sometimes it makes me difficult to relax.

✓ Sometimes it makes it difficult for me to relax.

The original sentence lacks proper structure. 'Makes me difficult' is ungrammatical because 'difficult' describes a situation, not a person. Use 'makes it difficult for me to relax', where 'it' is a dummy subject and 'for me' indicates the affected person. Suggestion: Use 'makes it difficult for me to...' for expressing that something causes difficulty for someone.

× Yes, one perks that I really want to go is a Central Park in New York in the US.

✓ Yes, one park that I really want to go to is Central Park in New York, in the US.

Multiple issues: 'perks' should be 'park' (singular), and the phrase order is incorrect. Use 'one park that I really want to go to' and 'Central Park' without the indefinite article 'a'. Also add commas for clarity. Suggestion: Correct spelling 'park', place 'to' at the end of 'want to go to', and omit 'a' before proper nouns like 'Central Park'.

× I found it interesting because there are so variety of beautiful flower.

✓ I found it interesting because there is such a variety of beautiful flowers.

'So variety of' is ungrammatical; use 'such a variety of' or 'so many' depending on countability. 'Flower' should be plural 'flowers', and agreement with 'variety' requires 'is' (singular). Suggestion: Use 'such a variety of flowers' or 'so many beautiful flowers', and ensure subject-verb agreement with 'variety'.