Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ответ понятен, но есть неточность лексики («spark» вместо «park») и небольшая тавтология. Следует использовать точные слова и разнообразить структуру: начать с прямого ответа, затем добавить 1–2 конкретных деталей, используя связку (например, "because" или "for example"). Также избегайте лишних повторов («liked» несколько раз).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because I was very active. For example, there was a large park next to my house where my family and I often had picnics and played games.

提案: Хорошая, естественная структура и конкретные детали. Минусы: маленькие паузы («Uh»), можно связать предложения более плавно и сократить повторы «here». Также название парка может вызвать вопросы — лучше пояснить, если это необычно. Используйте связки («so», «which», «also») для связности.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. There is a large park near my home called "Switzerland", which I visit to read books and relax both my body and mind, and I also practise yoga there.

提案: Ответ уместный и хорошо мотивирован, но фразы можно сделать короче и связнее. Избегайте неопределённых выражений («I guess people should move more»); лучше выразить мнение уверенно и добавить причину. Используйте связки («because», «so that») и конкретные примеры активности.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they encourage people to be active. For example, new parks would provide space for jogging, football or family walks, so neighbours could exercise together.

提案: Идея ясна, но есть неточности и неестественные формулировки («French recreations»). Следует дать конкретные примеры мест или парков и пояснить почему вы хотите их посетить. Используйте связки («for example», «because») и избегайте расплывчатых слов.

例: Yes, I would like to visit several parks abroad in the future. For example, I hope to see Parc des Buttes-Chaumont and Jardin du Luxembourg in France because I am fascinated by their history and beautiful landscapes.

× there was a great spark next to my house

✓ there was a great park next to my house

The word 'spark' is a wrong noun choice; context requires the singular noun 'park'. Use 'park' when referring to a public green area. Suggestion: proofread for similar word-choice errors and use a dictionary when unsure.

× there is a big park next to my house named Switzerland

✓ there is a big park next to my house called Switzerland

Using 'named' is not incorrect but 'called' is more natural in this context; additionally, place names after 'named' usually refer to people's names. Suggestion: prefer 'called' for naming places and ensure article 'a' is used correctly before 'big park'.

× I enjoy reading books here, it helps me to relax my body and my mind

✓ I enjoy reading books here; it helps me relax my body and mind

The comma splice should be fixed with a semicolon or conjunction. Also, 'helps me to relax' is grammatically acceptable but 'helps me relax' is more natural. Omit 'my' before 'mind' for conciseness. Suggestion: avoid comma splices and prefer concise verb structures.

× My biggest dream is exploring French recreations

✓ My biggest dream is to explore recreational places in France

After 'dream is' both the -ing form and infinitive are possible, but 'exploring French recreations' is awkward and uses a nonstandard noun 'recreations'. Use the infinitive 'to explore' and the phrase 'recreational places in France' for clarity. Suggestion: choose natural collocations and prefer 'to explore' after 'dream is'.

× these green spaces are abroad, not in my country

✓ these green spaces are abroad; they are not in my country

The comma should not separate two independent clauses; use a semicolon or a conjunction. Clarity improves by repeating the verb 'are' or restructuring the sentence. Suggestion: join independent clauses correctly and maintain clear subject-verb structure.