Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Speak more directly and concisely. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No/Not really) then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid filler words (umm, uh) and repetition. Keep answer within 2–3 sentences and use precise vocabulary (e.g., "I don't remember clearly" rather than "I don't have a clear perspective or standard").

例: I don't remember clearly whether I liked parks as a child. However, I recall one visit when the park was full of mosquitoes, which put me off staying long.

提案: Use a clear topic sentence and give a specific reason with linking words. Reduce hesitations and correct grammar (e.g., "I can breathe more clearly" not "I can't breathe more clearly"). Aim for two sentences: a direct answer and a supporting reason with a linking phrase like "because" or "as".

例: Yes, I do. I try to visit gardens regularly because being in green spaces makes me feel more energetic and I can breathe more clearly.

提案: Answer directly and explain with accurate vocabulary and a linking phrase. Avoid incorrect scientific terms—say "cleaner air" or "fresh air" instead of "hydrogen and oxide." Keep it to 1–2 concise sentences and use correct grammar (e.g., "more parks mean there will be more trees").

例: Yes, absolutely. More parks would mean more trees, which would improve air quality and give people cleaner, fresher air.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and provide one specific reason or plan. Correct grammar ("I'm not sure", "I haven't had many chances to learn about the city"). Use a linking word like "because" and finish with a positive prediction or plan.

例: I'm not sure yet because I just moved to Chengdu and haven't had many chances to explore it, but I hope to find a popular park here soon that I'd like to visit.

× Umm, honestly, uh, I can't remember it clearly.

✓ Umm, honestly, I can't remember clearly.

Unnecessary use of the pronoun 'it' after 'remember' is awkward here; 'remember clearly' is the natural present-tense phrasing. Keep the present tense because the student is stating a current inability to recall. Suggestion: Omit unnecessary object pronouns after 'remember' when the thing remembered is understood from context.

× Uh, maybe, uh, I, I don't have uh, uh, clear, uh, perspective or standard about uh, if I like to do,

✓ Maybe I don't have a clear perspective or standard about whether I like to do that.

Original has fragmented fillers and incorrect clause 'about if I like to do'. Use 'whether' to introduce alternatives and reorder words: 'a clear perspective or standard' (article + noun) and 'about whether I like to do that' completes the idea. Remove fillers and duplicate pronouns. Suggestion: Use 'whether' for indirect yes/no content and keep noun phrases with appropriate articles.

× but I remember, uh, I, uh, one day I went to park, umm, there are many mosquitoes.

✓ But I remember one day I went to the park and there were many mosquitoes.

Match past-tense narration: 'went' + 'there were' (past of 'there are'). Also include the definite article 'the' before 'park' for a specific visit. Use 'and' to connect clauses. Suggestion: Keep consistent past tense in a recollection and use 'the park' for a specific place.

× Yes, umm, nowadays I always try to go to the gardens and go to some uh, green place umm, because I think it will make me be more energetic and I can't breathe more uh, clearly umm.

✓ Yes, nowadays I always try to go to gardens or other green places because I think it makes me feel more energetic and I can breathe more clearly.

Use simple present for habitual actions: 'I always try' is fine; effects of habit should use simple present 'it makes me feel'. 'Breathe more clearly' is the correct adverb placement. Remove 'be' after 'make me' and correct 'gardens' (no article) and 'green places' plural for generality. Suggestion: Use simple present for habits and 'make someone feel' rather than 'make someone be'.

× Yes, absolutely. Because you know, the more parks means there will have, there will be more trees and the trees can make the city become more clear and you can breathe more hydrogen and oxide.

✓ Yes, absolutely. The more parks there are, the more trees there will be, and the trees can make the city cleaner; you can breathe more easily.

Use correct 'there be' structure: 'the more parks there are' and 'there will be more trees'. 'Means' should be replaced by comparative structure 'the more... the more...'. 'Make the city become more clear' is unnatural; use 'cleaner'. 'Breathe more hydrogen and oxide' is incorrect and scientifically wrong; likely intended 'breathe more easily' or 'breathe cleaner air'. Suggestion: Use parallel comparative structure 'the more A there are, the more B there will be' and avoid literal chemical terms when referring to air quality.

× Umm no I'm not pretty sure because I just came to Chengdu recently so I didn't have many chance to get a well known about this city but I believe one day I will found a park which I really want to go.

✓ Umm no, I'm not really sure because I just came to Chengdu recently so I haven't had many chances to get to know this city, but I believe one day I will find a park that I really want to visit.

Use 'I'm not really sure' (adverb placement). For recent arrival use present perfect 'haven't had' plus plural 'chances'. 'Get to know' is the correct phrase. Future intention: 'I will find' (not 'found') and 'visit' or 'go to' is correct; use 'that' to introduce the relative clause. Maintain tense consistency. Suggestion: Use present perfect for experiences since recent arrival, pluralize countable nouns ('chances'), and use correct verb forms for future intentions.