Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and accurate with vocabulary and correct small grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Replace unclear phrase "playing season" with the specific activity and avoid repetition of "I remember".

例: Yes — I loved going to parks as a child. For example, whenever I was bored my father would take me there and we would play football or fly kites together, which made those afternoons very memorable.

提案: Use a clear topic sentence and avoid small grammar mistakes (articles, prepositions). Use linking words (however, although) to contrast past and present, and give one specific example of a current park activity to be more vivid.

例: Yes, I do. I still enjoy visiting parks because I like watching birds and listening to the rustle of the trees. However, I usually visit larger botanical gardens now rather than the small playgrounds I used as a child.

提案: Begin with a direct answer (No) followed by a concise reason using correct grammar (use infinitive: 'rather stay'). Avoid lengthy repetition and give one specific detail about why you prefer familiar parks (e.g. facilities, memories).

例: No, I wouldn't. I prefer to stay with the parks I already know because they have the facilities I need and the familiar paths help me relax.

提案: Answer directly and correct tense and article use. Use linking words to explain obstacles and hopes, and give one concrete reason why you want to visit (e.g. rides, gardens). Avoid repeating "future" or redundant phrases.

例: Yes, there is one place I want to visit: Disneyland. Although it is abroad and requires a visa, I hope to go someday because I want to experience the themed parks and shows.

× Yes, absolutely I did.

✓ Yes, absolutely I did.

No grammatical error matching the provided list; sentence is correct for past reference.

× Whenever I was bored, my father took me to the park and we went just walking and playing.

✓ Whenever I was bored, my father took me to the park and we went just to walk and play.

The original uses 'went just walking and playing', which is an awkward verb form and word order. Use the infinitive phrases 'to walk' and 'to play' after 'went' to express purpose, or use 'we just walked and played' for simple past actions. Suggestion: choose either 'went to walk and play' or 'just walked and played' depending on intended meaning.

× I remember playing season with him.

✓ I remember spending time with him.

The phrase 'playing season' is incorrect and unclear. Likely intended 'spending time' or 'playing games' or 'playing with him'. 'Remember' is present tense describing a past memory; use a correct noun phrase like 'spending time' or 'playing games' to convey meaning.

× That was fantastic and I still remember that moment.

✓ That was fantastic, and I still remember that moment.

Grammatically fine; minor punctuation addition (comma) improves clarity. Sentence matches past reference and present memory correctly.

× Yes I do.

✓ Yes, I do.

No grammatical error besides missing comma after introductory 'Yes'. Present tense 'do' correctly answers present preference.

× I still enjoy going to park and watching nature and walking around like I'm still a child.

✓ I still enjoy going to the park, watching nature, and walking around like I'm still a child.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'park' is incorrect; use 'the park' for a general activity of going to parks. Also add commas and 'and' for parallel structure when listing activities.

× But I go to different parks than when I went to in my childhood and I still connect with the trees and the sound of the nature.

✓ But I go to different parks than the ones I went to in my childhood, and I still feel connected to the trees and the sounds of nature.

Original has awkward phrase 'than when I went to in my childhood' — better: 'than the ones I went to in my childhood'. 'Connect with the trees and the sound of the nature' is unnatural; use 'feel connected to the trees' and 'the sounds of nature' (no 'the' before 'nature'). Adjusted for parallelism and natural collocations.

× Actually not, I would rather staying in the same parks I went because I'm used to them and I'm feeling relaxed and I know where to find whatever I want in that park, so I don't prefer to see more parks.

✓ Actually, no. I would rather stay in the same parks I go to because I'm used to them, I feel relaxed there, and I know where to find whatever I want in those parks, so I don't want to see more parks.

Multiple issues: 'would rather staying' is incorrect — after 'would rather' use base form 'stay' (Grammar type 8/4; selected as modal usage). 'I went' should be 'I go to' or 'I went to' with consistent tense; 'I'm feeling' better as 'I feel' for habitual state. 'I don't prefer to see more parks' is unnatural; use 'I don't want to see more parks.' Also fix articles and plurals ('that park' -> 'those parks').

× There is actually only one park that I would like to go in the future and that is Disneyland, which is not in my country and I should get a visa for that.

✓ There is actually only one park that I would like to go to in the future, and that is Disneyland, which is not in my country, so I would need a visa for it.

Missing preposition 'to' after 'go' ('go to the park'). Also 'should get a visa for that' is awkward; use 'would need a visa for it' to express future necessity. Commas improve sentence flow.

× So I hope someday in my future I visit there soon.

✓ So I hope that someday in the future I will visit there.

Incorrect word order and tense: 'I visit there soon' is ungrammatical. Use future simple 'I will visit' or present perfect depending on nuance. 'Someday in my future' is redundant; 'someday in the future' is idiomatic. Alternatively: 'I hope to visit there someday.'