Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a clear, grammatically correct topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Keep it concise (max 5 sentences). Use past tense consistently and avoid repetition. For example, state whether you liked parks, then mention one memory or activity you enjoyed there and why.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks when I was a child. I often went with my parents and liked playing on the swings and having picnics on the grass. Those visits were fun because I could run around and play with my friends.

提案: Start with a direct answer, then give a clear reason and one specific detail about what you enjoy now. Use present tense and avoid filler words (umm). Link the reason with a connector like "because" or "so" to make it coherent.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are peaceful and I can relax outdoors. For example, I like walking on the paths and watching children play, which lifts my mood and gives me a break from work.

提案: Answer the question directly (yes or no), then give a specific reason and an example of the kind of park you'd like. Use linking words like "because" or "for example" to connect ideas and keep sentences concise and clear.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space and improve residents' wellbeing. For example, I would like to have more family-friendly parks with playgrounds and walking trails nearby.

提案: Give a clear, organized answer: name a specific park or type of park you want to visit, explain why, and give one detail about what you would do there. Avoid unclear or unrelated words and keep to present/future tense as appropriate.

例: Yes, I would like to visit state and national parks in California in the future, such as Yosemite. I want to see the scenery and go hiking because I enjoy nature and photography.

× Yes, I like going to parks was I'm child. I was I was go to no I sent this.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was a child.

The student mixed present and past tenses and produced ungrammatical fragments. The question asks about childhood (past), so the verb should be in the past tense: 'liked'. Use the time expression 'when I was a child' for clarity. Remove redundant fragments ('I was I was go to no I sent this'). Suggestions: practice forming simple past statements for past habits (I liked, I played, I went). Use 'when I was a child' to indicate the time period.

× Yes I do, I still like going to parks. Umm 'cause I love seeing umm, child children.

✓ Yes, I do. I still like going to parks because I love seeing children.

The original mixes filler sounds and repeats words. 'Cause' is informal but acceptable; better to write 'because'. 'child children' is a redundant error; use the plural noun 'children'. Keep present tense 'like' and 'love' to match the current preference. Suggestions: remove filler words, use 'because' for clarity, and ensure correct plural form 'children'.

× Umm, I most like, uh, park in the city. Umm, fun park.

✓ I mostly like parks in the city, especially amusement parks.

The student used 'most like' incorrectly and singular/plural inconsistently. 'Mostly' (adverb) correctly modifies 'like'. 'Park' should be plural 'parks' when speaking generally. 'Fun park' is informal and unclear; 'amusement parks' is a natural collocation. Suggestions: use 'mostly' to indicate preference degree, match plural nouns when speaking generally, and use common noun phrases like 'amusement parks'.

× Yes, actually, uh, I want to go park in the California in farm parks. Uh, I like to Gandalf I loved so much.

✓ Yes, actually I want to go to parks in California, especially farm parks. I really liked them.

Multiple errors: missing preposition 'to' after 'go', incorrect article 'the California' (use 'California' without 'the'), unclear word order, and tense consistency. Use 'want to go to parks in California' for future intention. 'I like to Gandalf I loved so much' is unintelligible; assume intended meaning is past enjoyment ('I really liked them'). Suggestions: include 'to' after 'go' when specifying destination, do not use 'the' before most US state names, keep tense consistent (present for desire, past for past enjoyment), and use clear nouns ('farm parks').