Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, fluency and clarity: use correct tense and articles, avoid repetitions, and keep within 3-4 coherent sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (reasons or examples) using linking words such as 'because' or 'so'.

例: I wasn't a big fan of going to parks as a child. I preferred staying indoors to play video games or read books because there were few parks near my home. As a result, I rarely had the chance to visit them.

提案: Work on sentence structure, verb forms and linking ideas: use contractions carefully, correct verb tense and articles, and link reasons with words like 'because' or 'since'. Keep answers concise and avoid informal fillers like 'to be honest' more than once.

例: I don't go to parks much now because I'm busy with work and studies, and I prefer indoor activities such as watching movies. Besides, the nearby park isn't well maintained, so I rarely feel motivated to visit it.

提案: Avoid contradictions and irrelevant details: directly answer the question, give one clear reason with a relevant supporting detail, and avoid awkward phrases. Use appropriate vocabulary ('introverted', 'affordable', 'attractive') and correct comparative structures.

例: Not really. As an introverted person, I rarely visit parks, and living in a small city there are few attractive park facilities. I would prefer spending money on nicer experiences like a special dinner instead.

提案: Give a clear, direct answer and use correct future forms: state preference first, then add a specific example with reason. Fix grammar ('I love traveling', 'I would like to visit Paris in the future') and remove repetition.

例: I don't plan to visit local parks, but I would like to travel abroad. For example, I love Paris and would like to visit its famous parks like the Jardin du Luxembourg when I travel there.

× To be honest, I was not a big fan of going to park as a child.

✓ To be honest, I was not a big fan of going to the park as a child.

The noun 'park' is a singular, countable noun and when referring to parks in general or a specific park in that context, the definite article 'the' is required. Use 'the park' to sound natural when speaking about going to parks as a child in that context.

× I must prefer staying home indoors or playing video games or getting lost in a book pulse.

✓ I preferred staying at home, playing video games, or getting lost in a book.

'Must prefer' is incorrect for past habitual preference; use simple past 'preferred'. 'Staying home indoors' is redundant; use 'staying at home'. 'Pulse' seems to be an erroneous word and was removed. Use parallel gerund forms for the list: 'staying..., playing..., getting...'. This corrects tense and sentence structure.

× There were not many parks near my home, so I didn't really have the chance chance to enjoy them.

✓ There were not many parks near my home, so I didn't really have the chance to enjoy them.

The sentence is mostly correct after removing the duplicated word 'chance'. The plural 'parks' is correct with 'were'. Remove the repeated word to fix the error.

× No I don't really go to park anymore, I got busy with my work and studies and to be honest I prefer indoor activities now like catching a movie.

✓ No, I don't really go to the park anymore; I got busy with my work and studies, and to be honest I prefer indoor activities now, like watching a movie.

Use the article 'the' before 'park' for a specific or general reference to parks. 'Catching a movie' is informal and nonstandard; use 'watching a movie'. Also punctuation and conjunctions improved for clarity, and commas added for correct sentence flow.

× Also the park near my place or not that nice so I don't motivate it to visit them.

✓ Also, the park near my place is not that nice, so I am not motivated to visit it.

Use correct verb 'is' (present) with 'not that nice'. 'Or' is incorrect; use 'is'. 'Motivate it to visit them' is incorrect structure and pronoun agreement — use 'am not motivated to visit it' and ensure singular 'park' matches singular 'it'.

× No, I don't really like to visit parks. I I kinda introvert so I don't prefer to visit parks and I live in a small casual city so there is no expensive things.

✓ No, I don't really like visiting parks. I'm kind of an introvert, so I don't prefer to visit parks, and I live in a small, casual city, so there are no expensive things.

'I I' duplicated; combine to 'I'm'. 'Kinda introvert' is informal and missing article: use 'kind of an introvert' or 'I'm an introvert'. 'There is no expensive things' has subject-verb and article errors: with plural 'things' use 'there are no expensive things'. Added commas and corrected verb forms.

× I would like to go expensive dinner instead.

✓ I would like to have an expensive dinner instead.

Use the noun phrase correctly: 'have an expensive dinner' or 'go to an expensive restaurant'. 'Go expensive dinner' is ungrammatical because 'go' needs a preposition and 'dinner' needs an article.

× If you're talking any park near my home or in a city, I don't want to, but I love travel into another country.

✓ If you mean any park near my home or in the city, I don't want to go, but I love traveling to other countries.

'If you're talking' is informal; use 'If you mean'. 'Any park near my home or in a city' needs 'in the city' for clarity. 'I don't want to' should be followed by 'to go'. 'I love travel into another country' has incorrect verb form and preposition: use 'love traveling to other countries'.

× I I love Paris, so I wanted to visit in my future.

✓ I love Paris, so I want to visit it in the future.

Remove duplicated 'I'. Use present tense 'want' to express future intention rather than past 'wanted'. 'Visit in my future' is incorrect phrase order and missing object: use 'visit it in the future' or 'visit Paris in the future'.