Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, correct grammar, and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb tense and subject-verb agreement (e.g., "I liked" not "I like/I liked" twice).

例: I liked going to the park when I was a child because it was full of other kids, so I could make many friends. Also, there were playgrounds and open spaces where we played games together.

提案: Give a direct answer then support it with one clear reason using linking words. Use consistent tense and avoid mixing unrelated ideas. Replace vague connectors like "otherwise" with clearer phrases such as "also" or "because".

例: Not really. I rarely go to parks now because I have to study a lot, and parks near my home are usually crowded and noisy.

提案: Be specific and use accurate vocabulary. Start with a concise topic sentence, then explain why with concrete reasons. Avoid unclear phrases like "green transit parks" and use terms like "green spaces" or "urban parks."

例: Yes, I would. More urban parks and green spaces would improve air quality and provide places for people to relax and exercise, which would make the city healthier and more pleasant.

提案: Answer directly, avoid filler words (uh, umm), and use precise vocabulary and grammar. Give one specific reason and a short detail. Correct word choice ("natural features" or "wildlife") and adjective use ("magical").

例: Yes. I would like to visit Yellowstone National Park in the United States because of its unique natural features, such as geysers and diverse wildlife, which I think would be truly magical to see.

× Yes, I like I liked to go to the park when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I liked to go to the park when I was a child.

The sentence mixes present tense 'like' with past context 'when I was a child.' Use past tense 'liked' to match the time reference. Improve by keeping verb tense consistent with the time expression: 'liked.'

× The park have a lot of children there and I can find many friends.

✓ The park had a lot of children there and I could find many friends.

The subject 'The park' (singular) requires singular past verb 'had' not 'have.' Also the sentence refers to past time, so modal 'can' should be 'could.' Ensure subject-verb agreement and tense consistency: use 'had' and 'could.'

× It's a is a great fun.

✓ It was great fun.

The phrase 'a great fun' is incorrect because 'fun' is an uncountable noun and does not take 'a.' Also the extra 'is a' is redundant and tense should match past 'was.' Use 'It was great fun.'

× No, I need to study and it will take me a lot of time.

✓ No, I need to study and it takes a lot of my time.

The original mixes present 'need' with future 'will take' awkwardly. If referring to a general situation use present simple 'it takes.' Alternatively, for a specific future use 'it will take.' Keep tense consistent with intended meaning. Also 'a lot of my time' is clearer than 'me a lot of time.'

× Otherwise there were always a lot of children in the park and it is very noisy.

✓ There were always a lot of children in the park and it was very noisy.

The sentence uses past 'were' but then switches to present 'is.' Because the speaker describes past situations, maintain past tense: 'was very noisy.' Remove 'Otherwise' if not contrasting; keep sentences coherent.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there are always a lot of green transit parks and it represents that our city will be a very good environment.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there are many green parks and that would mean our city has a better environment.

'Transit parks' is unclear; use 'green parks.' 'It represents that' is awkward; use 'that would mean.' Also 'will be a very good environment' is unnatural; use 'has a better environment.' Match modality: 'would' fits the hypothetical desire. Use clearer noun phrases and correct verb forms.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there are always a lot of green transit parks and it represents that our city will be a very good environment.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there are many green parks and that would mean our city has a better environment.

'A lot of' is acceptable but 'there are always a lot of green transit parks' is semantically odd; use 'many green parks.' Quantifier 'many' suits countable 'parks.' Avoid repeating similar suggestions.

× Uh, yes, I want to go to the Yellowstone National Park in the US umm, because there are a lot of natures natural things there and umm, it is must be very magic, magical and.

✓ Yes, I want to go to Yellowstone National Park in the US because there are many natural features there and it must be very magical.

Do not use 'the' before 'Yellowstone National Park' in this context; either omit or use 'the' depending on style, but common usage is 'Yellowstone National Park.' 'A lot of natures natural things' is ungrammatical; use 'many natural features.' 'It is must be' is wrong order; use 'it must be.' 'Magic' should be adjective 'magical.' Clean up fillers and complete the sentence.