Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and precise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and countable/uncountable nouns (e.g., “parks” vs “a park”), and give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and word form errors.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. I often played football there and enjoyed other outdoor games, which helped me make friends and stay active.

提案: Use correct verb forms and articles, and expand slightly with a linking word to make the response coherent. Keep it within 2–3 sentences and be specific about benefits you experience.

例: Yes, I still visit parks every day because walking there refreshes my mind. Moreover, the calm atmosphere helps me relax and focus on my work.

提案: Clarify your ideas and fix grammar and vocabulary errors. Use one clear reason sentence and support it with a specific benefit, linked with words like “because” or “since.” Avoid repetition and incorrect words (e.g., “sparks,” “oxy oxygen”).

例: Yes, I'd like more parks in my city because it is highly metropolitan and green spaces are limited. Parks would provide clean air and peaceful places for people to relax.

提案: Be concise and correct grammar (verb agreement, articles, plurals). Start with a clear answer, then give two specific details about the park using linking words like “because” or “for example.” Avoid repetition like “migrants like some migrants.”

例: I don't have many specific parks in mind, but I would like to visit Science City Park because of its beautiful architecture and colorful flower beds. For example, I heard migratory birds often visit there, which would be lovely to see.

× Yes, I did like visiting park a lot when I was a kid as parks are very greenery and I used to play football there and many other outdoor sports.

✓ Yes, I did like visiting parks a lot when I was a kid because parks are very green, and I used to play football there and other outdoor sports.

The adjective 'greenery' is a noun; use the adjective 'green'. Also 'park' should be plural 'parks' to match general statement; add 'because' for reason and a comma before conjunction. These changes make the sentence grammatically correct and natural.

× Yes, I still visiting park every day as it refreshes my mind and also it is a very calm place.

✓ Yes, I still visit parks every day as they refresh my mind and are very calm places.

After 'still' use the base verb 'visit' (simple present) for habitual action. 'Park' should be plural 'parks' or preceded by an article; 'it' must agree in number with 'parks' so use 'they' and plural nouns 'places'. This preserves present tense habit.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in cities as I live in a very metropolitan city that are rare sparks and I think parks are parks thus provides oxy oxygen and and it also a very peaceful place.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in the city because I live in a very metropolitan area where parks are rare, and I think parks provide oxygen and are very peaceful places.

Several issues: 'cities' should match 'the city' or 'my city'; use 'in the city' or 'area'. 'That are rare sparks' is incorrect; use 'where parks are rare'. 'Parks are parks thus provides oxy oxygen' is repetitive and ungrammatical—use 'parks provide oxygen'. Fix subject-verb agreement: 'parks provide' (not 'provides'). Remove duplicate 'and'. Use plural agreement for 'places'.

× I don't have a specific park that I want to visit but I think I want to visit Science City Park as it have a very beautiful architecture and it has also got a very good flowers and some migrants like some migrants birds also do visit that park so I want to.

✓ I don't have a specific park that I want to visit, but I would like to visit Science City Park because it has very beautiful architecture, lovely flowers, and some migratory birds also visit that park.

Use 'would like' to sound natural for desire; 'have' should be 'has' to agree with singular 'Science City Park'. 'Architecture' does not need 'a' before it. 'Has got' is informal—use 'has'. 'Migrants' is wrong; use 'migratory birds'. Remove redundant phrases and the trailing 'so I want to'. These changes correct subject-verb agreement and word choice.