Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on clear grammar and concise structure. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and subject-verb agreement, avoid repetition and filler words ('uh', 'kind of').

例: Yes. I loved going to parks as a child. I went there often with my friends because we could play games and talk for hours. Also, parks helped me get fresh air and exercise, which made my childhood more active and social.

提案: Make the response coherent: state your current habit clearly, then explain reasons using clear linking words (because, but, so). Avoid unclear phrases and ensure correct word choice (schedule, busy).

例: Yes, I still like parks, but I don't visit them often now because my work and study schedule is very busy. For example, I usually have classes and assignments on weekends, so I don’t have time to go to the park regularly.

提案: Answer directly and give specific benefits with correct vocabulary. Use linking words (not only... but also) correctly and avoid mispronounced words (park not pork). Provide concrete examples of recreational activities.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they offer many benefits. Not only do parks provide fresh air and green space, but they also serve as places for exercise, family picnics, and community events such as weekend markets or outdoor yoga classes.

提案: Be specific about which parks and why. Use correct tense and clearer phrasing for hobbies and past/future intentions. Limit to one main idea with supporting detail, and avoid vague phrases ('kind of','impeccable').

例: In the future, I would like to visit national parks such as Zhangjiajie or Jiuzhaigou because they have spectacular scenery that is perfect for photography. I enjoy taking photos of landscapes and wildlife, so those parks would be ideal destinations for my hobby.

× Yes, actually it's when I were a child, I preferred to go to the park very often.

✓ Yes, actually when I was a child, I preferred to go to the park very often.

The verb 'were' is the past tense plural or subjunctive form; for a singular subject 'I' in a simple past statement use 'was'. Replace 'it's when I were a child' with 'when I was a child' and remove the unnecessary 'it's'. Suggestion: Use 'I was' for simple past descriptions of personal states.

× Other things is the best way to to stop by with my friends and get some kind of hearty conversation with them.

✓ Another thing is that it was the best way to stop by with my friends and have meaningful conversations with them.

The original mixes singular/plural and unclear phrasing. 'Other things is' is incorrect; 'Another thing is that' introduces the idea. 'to to' is a typo. 'Get some kind of hearty conversation' is awkward; use 'have meaningful conversations'. Suggestion: Use clear noun phrases and consistent verbs: 'Another thing is that it was the best way to stop by with my friends and have meaningful conversations.'

× Uh, going to offering is not only tell me to go to bed a lot kind of large scale, but also.

✓ Going to the park not only helped me relax on a large scale, but also allowed me to socialize.

This sentence is unclear and ungrammatical. 'Going to offering' is meaningless; likely intended 'going to the park' or 'going out'. 'Not only ... but also' needs parallel structure. Recast to 'not only helped me relax ... but also allowed me to socialize.' Suggestion: Ensure the two parts after 'not only' and 'but also' are parallel verbs.

× Yes, I think I absolutely want to go to the park more often, but something is going to interrupt me to go to the park ask my Chinese schedule is is going to keep me hot to read.

✓ Yes, I absolutely want to go to the park more often, but something usually interrupts me because my Chinese schedule keeps me busy.

The original mixes future 'is going to' with awkward phrasing. Use present simple for habitual interruptions: 'something usually interrupts me'. 'Keeps me hot to read' is incorrect; use 'keeps me busy'. Suggestion: Use present simple for regular habits and choose clear verbs: 'interrupts' and 'keeps me busy'.

× So I think going to fall to no longer I really regular activities for me.

✓ So I think going to the park is no longer a regular activity for me.

The sentence word order is incorrect and words are misused. Replace 'going to fall to no longer I really regular activities' with 'is no longer a regular activity'. Suggestion: Keep subject-verb-object order: 'going to the park is no longer a regular activity for me.'

× Yes, I think pork, pork is really important in my city.

✓ Yes, I think parks are really important in my city.

'Pork' is a wrong word (meat); the intended word is 'parks' plural. Use plural when speaking generally about types of places. Suggestion: Use the correct noun 'parks' and pluralize when referring to many parks.

× Uh, I want to say it because there was a lot of kind of benefits and balance that it offered to me.

✓ I want to say this because parks offer many benefits and balance to people.

Tense and pronoun use are awkward: 'there was' suggests past; use present 'offer' for general truths. 'A lot of kind of benefits' is redundant; use 'many benefits'. Suggestion: Use present simple for general statements: 'parks offer many benefits.'

× Not only fresh air it provides with for the human, but also the place to, to organize lots of cards of re recreational activities.

✓ Not only do they provide fresh air for people, but they also provide places to organize many recreational activities.

Word order and prepositions are incorrect: 'provides with for the human' should be 'provide fresh air for people'. 'Lots of cards of recreational activities' is nonsensical; use 'many recreational activities'. Also use subject-verb inversion after 'not only'. Suggestion: Use correct collocations: 'provide fresh air' and 'organize recreational activities.'

× I think I like to go to some national parks or this shop, a lot of kind of view for me to take the photo in when I was a young a youngster.

✓ I think I would like to go to some national parks or scenic spots; they have many views where I can take photos, like when I was a youngster.

Mixes tenses and wrong nouns: 'this shop' likely 'scenic spots'. Use conditional 'would like' for future desires. 'When I was a young a youngster' is redundant; use 'when I was a youngster.' Suggestion: Use 'would like' for polite future intentions and correct nouns 'scenic spots' or 'viewpoints.'

× So I loved to take a photo as it's really, really kind of impeccable, a hobby that I do every day.

✓ I love taking photos because it is a really enjoyable hobby that I do often.

Tense mismatch: 'loved' vs 'do every day'; use present 'love' if habitual now. 'Impeccable' is inappropriate for hobby; use 'enjoyable' or 'rewarding'. 'Really, really kind of' is informal and redundant. Suggestion: Use appropriate adjectives and consistent tense: 'I love taking photos because it is an enjoyable hobby I do often.'