Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response grammatically correct, concise, and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect verb forms.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I often went there with my friends to play football and climb trees, which helped us stay active and have fun together.

提案: Keep the answer natural and remove fillers. Use a clear topic sentence and one or two specific reasons with linking words. Replace vague phrases with precise descriptions.

例: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks because walking among trees calms my mind after a long day. In addition, the fresh air and natural scenery help me relax and improve my focus for work the next day.

提案: Provide a direct answer, then give two clear, specific benefits using linking words. Avoid repetition and hesitations; use correct verb forms and plural/singular agreement.

例: Yes, I would. More parks would beautify the city and reduce air pollution by providing more trees. Moreover, they would offer residents peaceful places to exercise and relax, which benefits physical and mental health.

提案: Answer directly and give one specific example with brief details about why you want to visit. Mention where it is and what appeals to you, using correct tense and clearer phrasing.

例: Yes, I want to visit a park in Ranchi that I saw on Instagram. It looked beautiful at sunset, with wide walking paths and lots of trees, so I would like to go there for evening walks and to enjoy the view.

× Yes, I love to do love to went back during my childhood as I prefer to and park with my friends so that we can play a lot of games together.

✓ Yes, I loved going back to parks during my childhood because I preferred to go to the park with my friends so we could play many games together.

Multiple tense and structure problems: 'love to do love to went back' mixes present and past and uses incorrect verb forms (past 'went' with present context). The student is referring to childhood (past), so use past tense 'loved' and the gerund 'going' to express habitual action. 'go back to parks' corrected to 'going back to parks' and 'prefer to and park' was unclear; change to 'preferred to go to the park'. Use 'could' for past ability and 'many games' for quantifier clarity.

× Yes, I love to visit the park as it helps me to calm my mind after a tiresome day.

✓ Yes, I love visiting the park because it helps calm my mind after a tiresome day.

Use of infinitive 'to visit' is acceptable but 'love visiting' is more natural. Also 'helps me to calm my mind' is wordy; 'helps calm my mind' is concise. Maintain present tense for current habit.

× Also, it refreshes and boosts my productivity.

✓ Also, it refreshes me and boosts my productivity.

The verb 'refresh' typically takes an object when referring to a person; add 'me' to clarify the subject. The rest of the sentence is fine.

× Spending quality time in the green lush area uh makes our mood refreshing and it also creates positive vibe.

✓ Spending quality time in green, lush areas makes our mood better and also creates a positive vibe.

'Green lush area' needs adjective order and pluralization: 'green, lush areas' or 'a green, lush area'. 'Makes our mood refreshing' is incorrect; moods are 'better' or 'improved', not 'refreshing'. Add article or plural and use 'a positive vibe' or 'positive vibes'.

× Yes, definitely definitely uh parks in the city helps to maintain the beauty of the urban areas as it also improve the air quality and enhances the mood and it is also uh, helpful for the well-being of the individuals like individual can uh.

✓ Yes, definitely. Parks in the city help maintain the beauty of urban areas, improve air quality, enhance people's moods, and are also helpful for individuals' well-being.

Subject-verb agreement: plural 'parks' requires 'help' not 'helps'. Maintain parallel verbs in the list: 'help, improve, enhance'. 'Enhances the mood' should be 'enhance people's moods' for clarity. 'it is also helpful for the well-being of the individuals like individual can uh' was incomplete and awkward; rephrase to 'are also helpful for individuals' well-being'.

× Yes, actually I have seen a Instagram reel and there was a park in the Ranchi which was very beautiful and people usually go to sit and walk in the park during the evening time and the moment and the sunset makes.

✓ Yes, actually I saw an Instagram reel of a park in Ranchi that was very beautiful; people usually go there to sit and walk in the park during the evening, and the sunset creates a lovely atmosphere.

Use 'an' before vowel sound 'Instagram' (article error). Use simple past 'saw' for a completed action. 'the Ranchi' is incorrect; use 'Ranchi' without 'the'. The original sentence was run-on and unfinished ('the moment and the sunset makes'); complete the idea: 'the sunset creates a lovely atmosphere.' Use relative clause 'that was very beautiful' and streamline phrasing.