Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with word choice and sentence structure. Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g., "Yes, I loved going to parks as a child.") and avoid incorrect adverbs like "suddenly." Use simple past consistently and add one specific detail. Link ideas with a short connector if needed.

例: Yes, I loved going to the park near my house when I was a child. I went there three or four times a week and usually played on the swings with my friends. Also, I cycled around the park with my dad, which helped me stay healthy.

提案: Use correct grammar for general habits (present simple) and avoid fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., "It depends on my schedule and mood.") Then give one or two specific reasons, using linking words such as "because" or "however."

例: It depends on my schedule and mood. If I have free time, I often go to the park with friends to relax and chat; however, if I have extra classes, I usually stay home to study.

提案: Make the response grammatically correct and more specific. Start directly ("Yes, definitely") and give a clear reason with a specific benefit. Correct plural/singular forms and reduce hesitation words.

例: Yes, definitely. Hanoi has relatively few parks, so I would like to see more green spaces in the city because they improve air quality and give residents places to exercise and relax.

提案: Use correct subject-verb agreement and clearer phrasing. Begin with a direct answer ("Yes, there is a park...") then give specific details (location, opening time, why you want to go). Avoid repeating filler words.

例: Yes, there is a new park being built near Huang Kim Lake that will open next month. I want to visit it because it promises new walking paths and seating areas where people can relax and enjoy views of the lake.

× Suddenly, I usually went to the park near my house 3 or 4 times a week.

✓ I usually went to the park near my house three or four times a week.

Use of 'Suddenly' is inappropriate with habitual past actions; remove it. Also write numbers as words in formal speech. The sentence uses past tense correctly for a habitual action in childhood; just remove the adverb that conflicts with meaning and format numbers. ID:5

× I often played with my friends at the play playground or cycle with my dad around the park to improve my health.

✓ I often played with my friends at the playground or cycled with my dad around the park to improve my health.

Parallel verbs should use the same tense and form. 'Played' is past tense, so 'cycle' should be 'cycled' to match. 'Playground' is the correct noun; 'play playground' is redundant. ID:8

× Well I think it's depends on my mood because if I have free time I will go with my friends to relax and chill out but if I have some extra classes umm I would say no.

✓ Well, I think it depends on my mood because if I have free time I will go with my friends to relax and chill out, but if I have extra classes I would say no.

Use 'it depends' not 'it's depends' — subject 'it' with verb 'depends' present simple. Remove unnecessary article 'some' before 'extra classes' (optional) and add commas for clarity. Maintain consistent tense: present simple for habitual condition, future 'will' for intention. ID:6

× Definitely since I live in Hanoi which has a few park umm, so I would like to see more park in the future as is provide more greenery spaces for the resident.

✓ Definitely. Since I live in Hanoi, which has only a few parks, I would like to see more parks in the future because they provide more green spaces for residents.

Use plural 'parks' when referring to more than one. 'A few park' is wrong; use 'a few parks' and 'more parks'. 'Is provide' is incorrect verb form and subject-verb agreement; use 'they provide'. 'Greenery spaces' is unnatural; use 'green spaces'. 'Resident' plural should be 'residents'. Also improve sentence flow with punctuation and conjunction 'because'. ID:1

× Yes, there are one park that are being constructed near the Huang Kim Lake Umm and soon be opened next month.

✓ Yes, there is one park that is being constructed near Huang Kim Lake and will be opened next month.

Use 'there is' for singular noun: 'one park' requires singular 'is' not 'are'. Match verb forms: 'is being constructed' for passive continuous and 'will be opened' for future passive. Remove filler 'Umm' and article before proper name if not needed. ID:3

× So I would like to see that park UMM as is a new recreational hopes for the citizens to relax and chill out.

✓ So I would like to see that park because it will be a new recreational place for citizens to relax and chill out.

Original has missing connector and incorrect structure: 'as is a new recreational hopes' is ungrammatical. Use 'because it will be a new recreational place' to express reason and correct noun agreement: 'hopes' is incorrect; use 'place' or 'facility'. 'Citizens' plural is correct. Remove filler 'UMM'. ID:26