Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer grammatically correct, concise, and provide a clear supporting detail. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific example of what you did at parks. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g. "sing it through a bunch of trees" and "Would make my mom mine clearer").

例: Yes. I loved going to parks as a child because I enjoyed being close to nature. For example, I used to climb trees and listen to birds singing, which made me feel calm and happy.

提案: Keep the answer natural and correct tenses and word forms. Give a clear topic sentence and one specific supporting detail using linking words. Correct vocabulary (e.g. "feed" not "fitting") and avoid unnecessary words.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks every weekend with my family. For example, I often take biscuits to feed the birds, which everyone enjoys and helps us relax together.

提案: Make your response clearer and correct collocations and vocabulary. Begin with a direct opinion, then give a specific reason with coherent linking words. Replace unclear phrases ("fitting some birds", "hammers") with precise language like "feeding birds" and "stressful situations".

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because parks are my sanctuary when I am exhausted. For instance, feeding birds and sitting in a quiet green space helps me relieve stress from busy or stressful days.

提案: Answer directly and include one or two clear reasons why you want to visit, using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid repetition and correct word choices ("park" not "part").

例: Yes, I would love to visit Niagara Falls National Park because I have seen it on YouTube and it looks spectacular. I think the scenery and the sound of the falls would help me relax and forget my problems for a while.

× Yes, as a child I would like to go to the park since I love nature and sing it through a bunch of trees.

✓ Yes, as a child I liked to go to the park because I loved nature and sang among a bunch of trees.

The original mixes conditional 'would' with present 'love' and present 'sing' when describing past habitual actions. Use past tense for past habits: 'liked', 'loved', 'sang'. Also change preposition 'through' to 'among' for trees. Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for past routines and choose correct prepositions.

× Would make my mom mine clearer.

✓ It also made my mom happier and brought us closer.

This fragment lacks a subject and verb structure and is unclear. Rewriting supplies a subject ('It') and clear verbs ('made', 'brought') and clarifies meaning. Suggest forming complete sentences with subject + verb + object.

× Yeah, I still like going to the park every weekend with my family.

✓ Yes, I still like going to the park every weekend with my family.

'Yeah' is informal; grammatically the sentence is correct but better to use 'Yes' in formal speaking tests. No tense change required; sentence is present habitual and appropriate.

× I usually take some biscuits with me so that I could fitting some birds or even chicken that I found on the street.

✓ I usually take some biscuits with me so that I can feed some birds or even chickens that I find on the street.

Errors: modal tense ('could' should be 'can' for habitual present), verb form 'fitting' is incorrect; correct verb is 'feed'. 'Chicken' should be plural 'chickens' when general. 'Found' should be present 'find' to match habitual action. Suggest using present simple for regular activities and correct verb choice.

× Yes, I would like to see more park in the city since park has been my sanctuary when I'm exhausted.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in the city since the park has been my sanctuary when I'm exhausted.

'More park' should be plural 'more parks'. 'Park has' needs the definite article 'the park' when referring to a specific park that is the speaker's sanctuary. Maintain tense 'has been' for present perfect. Suggestion: Use plural for countable nouns with 'more' and add 'the' when referring to a specific known place.

× Fitting some birds or chickens that I found on the street is it?

✓ Feeding some birds or chickens that I find on the street?

'Fitting' is wrong; should be 'feeding' (present participle). 'Found' should be present 'find' to match habitual context. The sentence structure is a fragment; in speech a short question is fine but use correct verb form. Suggestion: Use correct -ing form 'feeding' and consistent tense.

× It's such a relief from my stress and anxiety over the hammers that I face.

✓ It's such a relief from the stress and anxiety I face.

'Hammers' is incorrect metaphor or word choice; likely meant 'hardships' or just omit. 'Over the hammers that I face' is ungrammatical. Use concise phrasing: 'the stress and anxiety I face.' Suggest replacing incorrect words and simplifying structure.

× I would love to go to Niagara Falls National Park.

✓ I would love to go to Niagara Falls National Park.

This sentence is grammatically correct. 'Would love to' expresses a conditional/future intention appropriately. No change needed.

× I've seen it from YouTube and TV and it looks really wonderful and I think that part would be my best sanctuary.

✓ I've seen it on YouTube and TV; it looks really wonderful and I think that place would be my best sanctuary.

Use preposition 'on' with media ('on YouTube and TV'). 'Part' is incorrect; use 'place'. Punctuation: separate clauses for clarity. Tense usage is fine: present perfect 'I've seen' for past experience, 'would be' for hypothetical preference. Suggestion: Use correct prepositions with media and accurate nouns.

× When I'm exhausted, I would forget all my problem that I had faced.

✓ When I'm exhausted, I forget all the problems I have faced.

Mix of conditional 'would' with a general present 'When I'm exhausted' is inconsistent; use present simple 'forget' for habitual reaction. 'Problem' should be plural 'problems'. 'That I had faced' should be present perfect 'I have faced' to link past experiences to the present. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent and use plural for countable nouns.