Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は内容が分かりやすく個人的な思い出を含んでおり良いですが、文法（時制・冠詞・大文字）や冗長な繰り返しを改善し、より自然な表現にまとめると高得点になります。具体的には①過去習慣を示す“used to”の正しい配置、②不要な繰り返し（I always, I used to）を避ける、③文をつなぐ接続詞で流れを整えることを意識してください。

例: Yes, I did. I used to go to the park with my older brother; he often carried me on his shoulders, so I would follow him everywhere.

提案: 理由は述べられていますが、語彙ミス（"word warming"→"global warming"）やあいまいな表現があり、論理のつながりも改善が必要です。短く明確な主文を置き、その後に理由を具体的に説明し、接続詞（because, so, therefore）を適切に使ってください。また"sweating"の代わりに"getting hot"等自然な表現を使うと良いです。

例: Not really. Because of global warming it gets very hot outside, so I prefer staying indoors where it's cooler and more comfortable.

提案: 意見と理由を述べられており良い構成です。ただし語彙をもう少し具体的にし、事実や比較を付け加えると説得力が増します。例えば"seldom see"の代わりに頻度や例を示し、接続詞で論理を明確にしてください。また“the parks”より“parks”が自然です。

例: Yes, I would. I rarely see children playing outside these days, so adding more parks would give them safe places to meet and play with friends.

提案: 回答が不明瞭で文法や語彙の誤りが多いです（"like why you can also shoot"など意味不明な部分）。質問は将来行きたい公園についてなので、まず直接的に答え（Yes/No/Maybe）を述べ、その理由（歴史的な場所に興味がある等）と条件（機会があれば行く）を簡潔に述べてください。不要な口語表現（"man"）は避け、明確な語彙を使いましょう。

例: Not really. I'm more interested in historical sites than modern parks, but if I have the chance I might visit a park that has historic features or old monuments.

× Yes I did. I have a Big Brother and I always, I used to go to the parks with my brother and he always carried me everywhere, so I would often follow behind him everywhere.

✓ Yes, I did. I had a big brother and I used to go to the parks with him; he always carried me everywhere, so I often followed him.

The student used present-tense 'have' while describing childhood, so pronoun and tense are inconsistent. Change 'I have a Big Brother' to past 'I had a big brother' to match 'as a child'. Use 'him' instead of repeating 'my brother' for natural pronoun use. Remove redundant phrases and correct capitalization ('big brother' not 'Big Brother'). Suggestion: Maintain past tense for childhood stories and use appropriate pronouns (he/him) to avoid repetition.

× No, I don't because the word warming is getting heavier and I feel more comfortable in my house and I don't like to be sweating so I like to stay indoors.

✓ No, I don't because the world is getting warmer and I feel more comfortable in my house; I don't like sweating, so I prefer to stay indoors.

Errors: 'word warming' is incorrect phrase; correct is 'world is getting warmer'. Use present continuous 'is getting' for ongoing change. 'I don't like to be sweating' is unnatural; use 'I don't like sweating' or 'I don't like to sweat'. Use 'prefer' rather than 'like to' for current preference. Suggestion: Use correct collocations ('world getting warmer') and natural verb forms for preferences.

× Yes, because these days I seldom see children playing on the parks or on the street, so I think they need more parks to play with friends.

✓ Yes, because these days I seldom see children playing in parks or on the street, so I think they need more parks to play with their friends.

Use plural 'parks' without 'the' when speaking generally and use preposition 'in' rather than 'on' for parks. 'Play with friends' is acceptable but 'play with their friends' is more natural. Suggestion: Use correct prepositions for locations and match plural/singular usage when speaking generally.

× Actually, I'm interested in historical places, like why you can also shoot, and so I don't think I would go to the parks in the future, but maybe man, when I have some opportunities I would like to go.

✓ Actually, I'm interested in historical places, such as museums and historic sites, so I don't think I will go to parks in the future. But maybe if I have the opportunity, I would like to visit them.

Original sentence has unclear phrase 'like why you can also shoot' which is incorrect and possibly a mistranslation. Replace with clear examples 'museums and historic sites'. Use 'I don't think I will go' for future prediction and 'if I have the opportunity' for conditional. 'Man' is colloquial and inappropriate here. Suggestion: Use clear vocabulary, avoid unclear literal translations, and use standard future constructions and conditional phrases.