Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural and relevant, with a clear topic sentence and supporting detail. To improve, avoid the long contrasting clause starting with 'whereas' which makes the sentence slightly awkward; instead split into two concise sentences and add a brief specific example (e.g. games played or a memorable picnic). Keep answers under five sentences.

例: Definitely. I loved going to parks as a child because my parents often took me for weekend picnics. I also remember playing frisbee and climbing trees with my friends, which was always fun.

提案: Good direct response and clear reason. To improve, remove fillers ('uh') and avoid repeating words ('dealing with'). Make the sentence more concise and add one specific activity you do in the park (e.g. jogging, reading) to enrich the answer and show fluency.

例: Absolutely. Lately I have had very busy study schedules, so I go to the park to wind down and relax. I usually sit under a tree and read or go for a 20-minute jog.

提案: Your point is clear but there are repetitions and slight grammatical errors ('appeal, appeal', 'helps' agreement). Be concise: state one or two benefits with specific examples (air quality, exercise, community events). Use correct subject-verb agreement and avoid redundant phrases.

例: Definitely. More parks would improve the city's appearance and air quality, and provide places for people to exercise. For example, community parks could host weekend yoga classes and walking groups.

提案: You answer the question and give a clear reason, but fillers ('uh') and some awkward wording ('specially entertained to me') reduce fluency. Replace fillers with smoother phrasing and use a clearer explanation about being landlocked. Add a brief detail about what you would do at a water park to make the answer more specific.

例: Yes. I would love to visit water parks in the future because I grew up in a landlocked country and rarely had the chance to play in large pools. I would enjoy the slides and wave pools with friends.

× 'I always enjoyed our trips to the parks during my childhood and my parents would often take me for picnics on the weekends, whereas with my friends I mostly relaxed on the grass.'

✓ 'I always enjoyed our trips to the park during my childhood, and my parents would often take me for picnics on the weekends, whereas with my friends I mostly relaxed on the grass.'

'parks' is plural but context refers to trips to the park as a general place; using singular 'park' is more natural. Use 'the park' to refer to the general concept of park visits. Also add a comma before the conjunction for clarity.

× 'Recently I have been dealing with, uh, such busy schedules and dealing with long hours of studies and academics, so going to the parks really helps me to wind down and relax.'

✓ 'Recently I have been dealing with such a busy schedule and long hours of study and academics, so going to the park really helps me to wind down and relax.'

'schedules' should be 'a busy schedule' (singular) to match 'recently' ongoing situation; 'studies' as a countable plural is awkward—use 'long hours of study'. Also 'parks' changed to singular 'park' to sound natural when referring to visiting parks in general. Removed redundant 'dealing with'.

× 'I believe US parks and greenery areas in the city really helps with the overall appeal, appeal of the city and the overall well-being as it helps us preserve oxygen and help us to exercise in the parks.'

✓ 'I believe US parks and green areas in the city really help the overall appeal of the city and people’s well-being, as they help preserve oxygen and provide places to exercise.'

'greenery areas' is incorrect; use 'green areas'. Subject 'US parks and green areas' is plural, so verb should be 'help' not 'helps'. Reworded to avoid repetition 'appeal, appeal' and to make 'help us to exercise in the parks' concise and grammatical.

× 'Water parks are specially, uh, entertained to me because in my country we are landlocked and we don't really get to play with water that much.'

✓ 'Water parks are especially entertaining to me because in my country we are landlocked and we don't really get to play in the water that much.'

'specially entertained' is incorrect collocation. Use 'especially entertaining' (adverb + adjective). 'play with water' is odd; use 'play in the water'. This fixes adjective/adverb placement and correct verb patterns.

× 'Yes, there are several, uh, types of parks that I want to visit in the future.'

✓ 'Yes, there are several types of parks that I want to visit in the future.'

Minor filler removed. Tense 'want to visit in the future' is correct; this suggestion only removes unnecessary filler 'uh' and the extra comma to make the sentence fluent and grammatically clean.