Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ปรับประโยคให้เป็นไวยากรณ์ถูกต้องและสื่อความหมายชัดเจน ใช้ประโยคเริ่มต้นตอบตรง ๆ แล้วเสริมรายละเอียดเฉพาะเจาะจง เช่น กิจกรรมที่ทำ ความรู้สึก และความถี่ ใช้คำเชื่อมอย่างเหมาะสม ลดความซ้ำซ้อน ตัวอย่างคำแนะนำเฉพาะ: เปลี่ยนจาก "I like to go to the park as shy when I was child" เป็น "I enjoyed going to the park when I was a child" อธิบายกิจกรรมเป็นข้อ ๆ เช่น "I used to jog, play on the swings and slides, and sometimes have picnics."

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to the park when I was a child. I went there almost every day to jog and play on the swings and slides. I also had picnics with my family sometimes, which was really fun. Overall, the park was a favorite place for me to relax and play.

提案: แก้ไวยากรณ์และคำศัพท์ที่ใช้ผิด เช่น "I'm still like" → "I still like" หรือ "I still enjoy" และหลีกเลี่ยงคำพูดไม่ชัดเจน เช่น "get a fresh egg" ควรอธิบายกิจกรรมและเหตุผลให้ชัดเจน ใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อความลื่นไหล และจำกัดความยาวไม่เกิน 4-5 ประโยค ตัวอย่างเฉพาะ: อธิบายว่าทำเพื่อผ่อนคลายหรือออกกำลังกาย และบอกความถี่ให้ชัด

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to the park because it's very close to my house. I usually go there every day to relax and exercise, such as walking or jogging. The fresh air and green space help me feel calm and refreshed.

提案: แก้คำพูดที่ไม่เป็นธรรมชาติและคำศัพท์ที่ผิด เช่น "Chad" ไม่จำเป็น และ "park in my city more" → "more parks in my city" อธิบายเหตุผลอย่างชัดเจนและให้ตัวอย่างกิจกรรมที่สามารถทำในสวนสาธารณะ ใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อเชื่อมเหตุผล เช่น "because" หรือ "so"

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide places for people to relax and exercise. More parks would also make the city greener and offer space for activities like walking, sports, and family outings.

提案: ปรับประโยคให้ถูกต้องและกระชับ อธิบายเหตุผลที่อยากไปอย่างเป็นระบบ เช่น ความสวยงาม ขนาด และกิจกรรมที่สนใจ หลีกเลี่ยงการพูดซ้ำและใช้รูปแบบที่เป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้น เช่น "I have seen it in movies" ใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อเชื่อมเหตุผล เช่น "because", "and", "so"

例: Yes, I would love to visit Central Park in New York in the future because I have seen it in movies and it looks very beautiful and large. It also offers many activities, such as boating, picnicking, and walking tours, which I would enjoy.

× Yes, I like to go to the park as shy when I was child.

✓ Yes, I liked going to the park when I was a child.

The sentence mixes present tense 'like' with past time 'when I was a child'. Use past tense 'liked' and the gerund 'going' for habitual past actions; add article 'a' before 'child'. Suggestion: Use past tense consistently for past habits: 'I liked going to the park when I was a child.'

× I go to park every day.

✓ I went to the park every day.

The speaker refers to childhood, so past tense 'went' is required. Also include the definite article 'the' before 'park'. Suggestion: Match tense to context and use articles: 'I went to the park every day.'

× I do a jogging and praying, a slide and swing.

✓ I went jogging and swung on the slide and the swing.

The original uses incorrect collocations and verb forms: 'do a jogging' should be 'go jogging' or 'went jogging'; 'praying' likely meant 'playing' or 'playing on' — context suggests playground activities. Use past tense verbs 'went' and 'swung' to match past timeframe, and include articles for 'slide' and 'swing'. Suggestion: Use correct verbs and forms for activities: 'I went jogging and played on the slide and the swing.'

× It's very fun.

✓ It was very fun.

Tense should match past context: use 'was' instead of 'is'. Suggestion: Align verb 'to be' tense with timeframe: 'It was very fun.'

× It's about a great spread.

✓ It was a great place to relax.

The phrase 'a great spread' is unclear and incorrect for describing a park. Rephrase to a clear noun phrase 'a great place to relax' and match past tense. Suggestion: Use precise vocabulary and correct tense to convey meaning.

× Of course, I'm still like to go into the park because the park is near my house and I have to go to the park everyday for the relaxing and get a fresh egg.

✓ Of course, I still like to go to the park because it is near my house and I go there every day to relax and get fresh air.

Mixes 'I'm still like' (incorrect structure) and unnecessary 'have to'; use present simple 'I still like' and 'I go' for habitual present actions. 'Everyday' (adjective) should be 'every day' (adverbial phrase). 'The relaxing' is wrong; use infinitive 'to relax'. 'Get a fresh egg' seems wrong—likely 'fresh air'. Suggestion: Use correct verb forms and collocations: 'I still like to go to the park... I go there every day to relax and get fresh air.'

× You know, I feel like a relaxing in the park.

✓ You know, I feel relaxed in the park.

'Feel like a relaxing' is ungrammatical: 'feel like' is followed by a noun or verb+ing meaning desire ('feel like relaxing' means want to relax), while 'feel relaxed' describes the state. Choose 'feel relaxed' for describing how the park makes the speaker feel. Suggestion: Use 'feel relaxed' to describe a state or 'feel like relaxing' to express desire.

× Chad, yes, I would like to see more park in my city more.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city.

Redundant 'Chad' unclear; 'more park' should be plural 'more parks'. Remove extra 'more'. Suggestion: Use plural for countable nouns when speaking of an increased number: 'more parks'.

× The PA park is the pace for relaxing and for uh activity.

✓ Parks are a place for relaxing and for activities.

Original has misspellings 'PA', 'pace', and awkward singular/plural mismatch. Use plural 'parks' or 'A park' depending on meaning; 'activities' plural fits general reference. Suggestion: Use correct spelling and pluralize countable nouns when referring generally.

× Yes, I would like to go to the Center Park in New York because they see it in the movie and it's very beautiful, it's very big and it's had many activity to do.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to Central Park in New York because I saw it in movies; it is very beautiful, very big, and it has many activities to do.

Use correct proper noun 'Central Park'. 'They see it in the movie' should be 'I saw it in movies' or 'I have seen it in movies'. Maintain present tense when describing its current qualities: 'it is' and 'it has'. 'It's had' is incorrect; use 'it has' and plural 'activities'. Suggestion: Use correct names, appropriate pronouns, consistent tenses, and plural nouns: 'I would like to go to Central Park... I have seen it in movies. It is very beautiful and it has many activities to do.'

× That that's why I would like to go in.

✓ That is why I would like to go there.

Duplicate 'that that's' is redundant and 'go in' is wrong collocation for visiting a park; use 'go there'. Suggestion: Use concise phrasing and correct prepositions: 'That is why I would like to go there.'