Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use clear, correct grammar. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid hesitation and repetition (e.g., "like").

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. For example, I loved the playground equipment and the open grassy areas where I could run and play games with my friends.

提案: Give a clear comparison and use correct tense. Begin with a direct statement about current habits, then compare briefly to childhood using a linking phrase (e.g., "compared to"). Mention a specific reason for visiting parks now.

例: I don't go to parks as often as I did as a child. Compared to then, I now visit parks mainly to relax and take walks after work or on weekends.

提案: Give a direct opinion and support it with specific benefits using linking words (e.g., "because", "for example"). Use correct plural forms and clearer phrasing.

例: Yes, I think adding more parks would be a good idea because they increase green space and improve air quality. For example, more parks would give residents places to exercise and relax, which could improve public health.

提案: State the park clearly, then give two specific reasons you want to visit using linking words like "because" or "such as." Avoid repetition and incorrect word choices (e.g., "party" should be "park").

例: I would like to visit Central Park in New York because it is very large and has many attractions. For example, I want to try the walking trails, see the lakes, and visit the historical landmarks there.

× Yes, I think so. I like the park facility like like some like place, some facility and I think it's it is very interesting.

✓ Yes, I think so. I liked the park facilities, such as playgrounds and picnic areas, and I found them very interesting.

Errors: repeated words ('like like'), vague phrasing, and awkward structure. Type: sentence structure errors (ID 26) and word choice. Suggestion: remove repetitions, use plural 'facilities' to match multiple items, specify examples with 'such as', and keep past tense 'liked' to match 'as a child'. Use clear noun phrases instead of repeated 'like'.

× Uh, well, I was a compared to childhood, I think I will be like seldom go to park. I think nowadays I go to park is like for re relax purpose.

✓ Uh, well, compared to my childhood, I seldom go to the park now. These days I go to the park mainly to relax.

Errors: 'I was a compared to childhood' is ungrammatical and confusing; incorrect tense/modal 'I will be like seldom go' and misplaced adverbs. Types: sentence structure errors (ID 26), adverb placement (ID 20), and tense issue (ID 6). Suggestion: use 'compared to my childhood' for comparison, use 'seldom' before the verb for correct adverb placement, use simple present 'seldom go' for habitual action, and rephrase second sentence to 'These days' and 'mainly to relax'.

× MMM, I will say it is probably a good idea because we have more park and we can have more like green tree and I think people see it well be a relaxed con conditions.

✓ I would say it is probably a good idea because we could have more parks and more trees, and I think people would be in a more relaxed condition.

Errors: incorrect modal/tense 'I will say' (should be 'I would say'), singular/plural errors 'more park' and 'green tree', and awkward phrasing 'see it well be a relaxed con conditions'. Types: modal verb usage (ID 4), singular and plural issue (ID 1), and sentence structure errors (ID 26). Suggestion: use 'parks' and 'trees' plural, use conditional/modal 'would' for opinion, and rephrase to 'people would be in a more relaxed condition' for clarity.

× Oh, I, I want to go to the, I want to visit the New York Central Park. I heard this is a very large park and it's a big square. And I think I, I see the picture that the party have very interesting facility that I want to experience.

✓ Oh, I want to visit New York's Central Park. I heard it is very large and has many interesting facilities that I would like to experience.

Errors: unnecessary 'the' before 'New York Central Park' and repeated filler words. 'It's a big square' is inaccurate for Central Park; better to say 'very large'. 'I see the picture that the party have' is ungrammatical and wrong word choice ('party'). Types: article errors (ID 22), sentence structure errors (ID 26), and incorrect word choice. Suggestion: use 'New York's Central Park' or 'Central Park', use 'it has many interesting facilities', and use 'would like to experience' to express future desire politely.