Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a direct, grammatically correct topic sentence and add one short supporting detail. Correct tense and article usage are needed. Keep it natural and concise (1–2 sentences).

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks when I was a child. I often played on the swings and met my friends there after school.

提案: Use correct present simple tense and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then briefly explain why with one specific detail and a linking phrase. Reduce redundant phrases like "atmosphere" repeated.

例: Yes, I still like going to parks, especially in winter. I enjoy the crisp air and the lively morning groups of walkers, which make the park feel energetic.

提案: Answer directly with a clear reason, use correct collocations (e.g., "relieve stress"), and avoid fillers. Limit to 2–3 sentences, using a linking word to connect ideas and provide a specific example of benefit.

例: Yes, I would. Parks help relieve stress and provide safe places for exercise, especially for children and senior citizens. For example, many seniors use parks for daily walks and socialising.

提案: Give one clear recommendation: name the park and say why with specific features. Correct plural and vocabulary mistakes (e.g., "children's sections", "young people", unclear "musical nights" not "Knights", avoid odd words like "rats"). Keep it to 2 sentences max.

例: Yes, I would like to visit City Palace Park because it has separate sections for children and senior citizens. It also hosts musical nights and has well-maintained walking paths, which sounds very enjoyable.

× Yes, I like to going parks when I was child.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was a child.

The sentence mixes present tense 'like' with past time 'when I was child'. Use past tense 'liked' and gerund 'going' without 'to'. Also add article 'a' before 'child'. Suggestion: use 'liked going to parks when I was a child.'

× Yes, I still liking to go parks in specially winter seasons because in winters there is atmosphere with full of energy pleasant atmosphere.

✓ Yes, I still like to go to parks, especially in the winter, because the atmosphere in winter is full of pleasant energy.

Use simple present 'like' not present participle 'liking'. Use 'go to parks' with preposition 'to'. 'Especially' is spelled wrong and should come before the phrase. Word order and redundancy fixed: 'atmosphere with full of energy pleasant atmosphere' is incorrect; revise to 'the atmosphere in winter is full of pleasant energy.'

× So I would like to going parks in winter.

✓ So I would like to go to parks in winter.

After 'would like' use the base verb 'go', not the gerund 'going'. Include preposition 'to' before 'parks'.

× Yes, I will because parks are very important to relief of some kind of stress to the to do some exercise and especially for children's and senior citizens, the parks are much needed in the cities.

✓ Yes, I would, because parks are very important for relieving stress, for doing exercise, and especially for children and senior citizens; parks are much needed in cities.

The reply to 'Would you like' should use 'I would' rather than 'I will'. 'Relief' is a noun; use gerund 'relieving' after 'important for'. Use 'for doing exercise' or 'for exercise'. Remove possessive apostrophe in 'children's' when plural 'children' is intended. Also fix article use and word order. Combine clauses for clarity.

× It's also useful, uh, during the winters, uh, for a morning walks, et cetera.

✓ It's also useful during the winter for morning walks, etc.

Use singular 'winter' or 'the winter' as a season, and remove article 'a' before plural 'morning walks'. 'Et cetera' can be abbreviated 'etc.' Keep preposition 'during' before the season.

× Yes, I would like to go at City Palace Park because it has a different sections for children's, for senior citizens, uh, for uh. Young peoples.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to City Palace Park because it has different sections for children, for senior citizens, and for young people.

Use preposition 'to' not 'at' after 'go'. 'Sections' does not need 'a' with 'different'. Use plural 'children' not possessive "children's". 'Young peoples' is incorrect; use 'young people'. Also remove filler words.

× There is also some musical Knights are there, some rats are there.

✓ There are also some musical nights and some rides there.

The original likely intended 'musical nights' (evening events) and 'rides' (amusement rides). Use plural verb 'are' with plural nouns. Avoid repeating 'are there'. Make nouns correct and coherent.