Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap doğal ve samimi ancak dilbilgisi ve akıcılık açısından geliştirilmelidir. Gereksiz duraklamalar ve tekrarlar azaltılmalı; geçmiş zaman tutarlılığı (was/were, played, had) sağlanmalı. İki ya da üç kısa cümleyle doğrudan yanıt verip ardından bir örnek ekleyin. Bağlaçlar (for example, because, so) kullanarak mantıksal akışı güçlendirin.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because my family often had picnics there. For example, we would spend whole afternoons playing games and eating homemade food, which made those days very special.

提案: Cevap kısa ve anlaşılır fakat biraz düzensiz. Gereksiz dolgu kelimeleri (uh) azaltılmalı ve daha akıcı bir bağlantı kullanılmalı. Sebep-sonuç ilişkisini bir bağlaçla netleştirin (because, so) ve örnekleme yapın.

例: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks, especially when I'm stressed, because being outdoors helps me relax and clear my mind. For instance, I often walk around the pond for 20 minutes to calm down.

提案: Cevapta dilbilgisi hataları ve kelime seçimi sorunları var (needs → need, this great spaces → more green spaces). Cümleyi daha net ve doğru gramerle kurun; gerekirse bir neden ve bir sonuç ekleyin. Bağlaçlar (because, so) ile mantık kurun ve spesifik fayda verin.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green spaces that improve air quality and offer places for exercise. For example, new small parks could reduce pollution and give families somewhere to relax on weekends.

提案: Cevap duygusal ama dilbilgisi ve ifade netliği sorunlu (it was very looking → it looks very; fun entertainment yerine more natural phrase). Gereksiz duraklamalar kaldırılmalı. Cümleleri yeniden düzenleyip bir neden ve ayrıntı ekleyin (what makes it attractive).

例: Yes, there is a park in Paris I would love to visit because it looks beautiful and offers many attractions. For example, it has colourful gardens and fun outdoor exhibits that I dream of seeing in person.

× I was playing in there and my family has picnics and that was perfect moments for me.

✓ I used to play there and my family had picnics, and those were perfect moments for me.

The sentence mixes past continuous with present perfect and has article/number issues. Use simple past or 'used to' to describe habitual past actions (past participle not required here). 'Has picnics' should be past 'had picnics'. 'Perfect moments' needs 'those were' to match plural. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense and use 'there' without 'in' after 'play'.

× Of course I like, uh, visiting a park, but whenever I'm upset or angry or stressed, I usually go then.

✓ Of course I like visiting parks, but whenever I'm upset, angry, or stressed, I usually go to one.

The original mixes singular/plural and has awkward phrasing 'go then.' Use plural 'parks' for general preference, and 'go to one' or 'go there' is clearer. Maintain present simple for habitual actions. Remove extraneous commas and filler words.

× Of course, in my country, people needs this great spaces, this green spaces, increase air quality and we need that.

✓ Of course, in my country, people need these great green spaces to improve air quality, and we need them.

Subject-verb agreement: 'people' is plural so use 'need' not 'needs'. Quantifier and article errors: use 'these' with plural 'spaces' and 'green' as adjective before noun. Use an infinitive 'to improve' to explain purpose and pronoun 'them' to refer back to 'spaces'.

× In Paris there is a dream park. I often, uh, dream about this park because it was very looking, umm, fun entertainment and I would like to go before I die.

✓ There is a dream park in Paris. I often dream about this park because it looked very attractive and entertaining, and I would like to go before I die.

Word order: place expressions are more natural as 'There is a X in Y' or 'In Y there is X'; both acceptable—here corrected to 'There is a dream park in Paris.' Tense and word choice: 'was very looking' is incorrect; use past simple 'looked' and adjectives 'attractive and entertaining'. 'Fun entertainment' is redundant. Keep 'would like to go' for future desire and 'before I die' is idiomatic.