Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cümleleri daha doğal ve dilbilgisi açısından doğru kur. Kısa ve doğrudan bir konu cümlesiyle başla, ardından bir bağlaçla bir veya iki destekleyici detay ver. Örneğin zaman ifadesi, neden veya bir anı ekleyebilirsin. Ayrıca fiil ve artikelleri düzelt: “go parks” yerine “go to parks”, “one of favorites activities” yerine “one of my favourite activities”.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. They were one of my favourite activities because I spent happy times there with my family, especially on weekend picnics.

提案: Cümleyi akıcı ve kesin bir zaman yapısıyla kur. Gereksiz dolgu seslerini (uh, umm) çıkar. Bir bağlaç kullanarak nedenini açıkla ve doğru zaman kipini seç: present simple veya present continuous. Ayrıca mekan ifadesini netleştir ("one of the closest parks" yerine "go to a nearby park").

例: Sometimes I do. When I feel upset or stressed, I usually go to a nearby park because the fresh air and quiet help me relax.

提案: Düşünceni açık ve doğru kelimelerle ifade et. Yanlış kelime kullanımına dikkat et: "grim spaces" yerine "green spaces". Bir sonuç veya sebep bağlacıyla (because, so) cümleyi destekle ve mümkünse bir öneri ekle.

例: Yes, definitely. I would like more parks in my city because green spaces improve air quality and provide places for people to exercise and relax.

提案: Daha doğal ve doğru zaman kullanımıyla cevap ver. Gereksiz sesleri çıkar, "which named Green Park" yerine "called Green Park" veya "named Green Park" kullan. Ayrıca "when I was childhood" yerine "when I was a child" demelisin. Bir neden veya kısa anı ekleyerek açıklamayı güçlendir.

例: Yes. I want to visit Green Park in London (or Paris) because it is special to me; I used to dream of going there when I was a child and I would love to see it in person someday.

× Yes, I used to go parks in my childhood also that was my one of favorites activities.

✓ Yes, I used to go to parks in my childhood; they were also one of my favorite activities.

You need the preposition 'to' after 'go' when talking about going to a place. 'In my childhood' is acceptable but 'when I was a child' is more natural; I changed 'that was my one of favorites activities' to 'they were also one of my favorite activities' to fix word order, article use and plural agreement. Suggestion: Use 'go to' + place, and 'one of my favorite activities' for correct phrasing.

× Causes a good moments with my family.

✓ They created good moments with my family.

The original lacks a clear subject and uses incorrect verb form 'Causes' with a plural noun 'moments'. I changed it to 'They created good moments with my family' to provide a subject (they referring to visits) and correct past tense verb. Suggestion: Ensure sentences have a clear subject and verb; match verb number and tense to the subject.

× Sometimes, but uh, whenever I feel upset on or I felt stressed, I will umm, one of the closest parks.

✓ Sometimes, when I feel upset or stressed, I go to one of the closest parks.

The sentence mixes tenses and misses verbs. Removed extra words 'on' and 'will' and used present simple 'go' to match habitual action. Also used 'when I feel' (present) to align with 'sometimes'. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent for habitual actions (present simple) and include necessary verbs ('go to').

× Of course, I would like to see more parks in my city because my city needs grim spaces which increases air quality.

✓ Of course, I would like to see more parks in my city because my city needs green spaces, which improve air quality.

'Grim' is the wrong adjective; 'green spaces' is the correct collocation. 'Which increases' must agree with plural 'spaces', so use 'improve'. Suggestion: Choose appropriate adjective ('green') and ensure verb agrees with the noun number.

× Yes uh, there is a park which named Green Park in Paris.

✓ Yes, there is a park named Green Park in Paris.

Use the reduced relative clause 'named' rather than 'which named'. 'There is' is fine. Suggestion: Use 'named' or 'called' after the noun: 'a park named Green Park'.

× This park is a very special for me.

✓ This park is very special to me.

Do not use the article 'a' before 'very special' and use the preposition 'to' with 'special' when indicating personal significance. Suggestion: Use 'very special to me' or 'a very special place for me'.

× Umm, I used to dream to go to this park when I was childhood.

✓ I used to dream of going to this park when I was a child.

Use 'used to dream of doing' rather than 'dream to go'; 'when I was a child' requires 'a child' not 'childhood' here. Also gerund 'going' is correct after 'dream of'. Suggestion: Use 'dream of doing' and proper noun phrase 'when I was a child'.