Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer grammatical, concise and add one or two specific supporting details. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then mention specific activities and a brief reason using a linking word (e.g., because, as). Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because I could play on seesaws and join imaginative games like mock battles with other kids. For example, we often formed teams and used sticks as pretend swords, which made those afternoons very exciting.

提案: Use correct tense and sentence structure; give a clear topic sentence (present tense) and one specific reason with a linking word. Avoid repetition and keep it within five sentences.

例: Not really. I rarely go to parks now because I have a heavy study load and spend most evenings doing homework. As a result, I usually relax at home instead of visiting parks.

提案: Answer directly and briefly, then give one clear reason with a linking word. Use correct grammar and avoid repeating earlier points; you can add a contrasting point to show nuance.

例: Not really. I prefer fewer busy parks because they are often crowded with children, and I usually need a quiet place to study. However, I would appreciate a small peaceful green space for short walks.

提案: Give a clear affirmative response, correct grammar, and add one specific detail about the park and why you want to visit it. Use a linking word to connect reason and keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the new large park in my city because it has wide lawns and modern play areas. I’m especially looking forward to trying the walking trails and relaxing there on weekends.

× Is I'd like to go to the park when I was child because I can play seesaws and war activity with other children.

✓ I used to like going to the park when I was a child because I could play on seesaws and play games with other children.

Pronoun and auxiliary errors: 'Is' is incorrect and unnecessary at sentence start; 'I'd like to go' mixes tenses with the past time phrase. Use 'I used to like' to indicate a habitual past action. 'When I was child' misses the article 'a'. 'Can' should be past 'could' to match past time. Also 'play seesaws' needs preposition 'play on seesaws' and 'war activity' is unclear; replace with 'play games'.

× Not actually because I'm not a teenager now I need I had more homework to do, so I don't have many time to go to the park.

✓ Not really, because I'm not a teenager now and I have more homework to do, so I don't have much time to go to the park.

Tense and verb issues: 'Not actually' is not natural here; use 'Not really'. The clause 'I need I had more homework' mixes tenses and has extra words; use present 'I have more homework' to match 'I'm not a teenager now'. 'Many time' is incorrect collocation; use 'much time' with uncountable 'time'. Use 'and' to join the clauses.

× Not really, as I just said, there's so many children in the park and I'm not teenage anymore, so I prefer to stay at home and study with my homework.

✓ Not really, as I just said, there are so many children in the park and I'm not a teenager anymore, so I prefer to stay at home and study.

Subject-verb agreement and article errors: 'there's so many children' uses singular contraction 'there's' with plural noun; use 'there are'. 'I'm not teenage anymore' needs the noun phrase 'a teenager'. 'Study with my homework' is awkward—'study' or 'do my homework' are better. Removed redundant 'with my homework' and used 'study' to match meaning.

× Yes, in my city there's a there has a new big park and I really want to go to the new park and play something.

✓ Yes, in my city there is a new big park and I really want to go to it and play there.

Redundant and incorrect 'there' constructions: 'there's a there has a' repeats structures and is ungrammatical. Use a single 'there is' for existence. 'Go to the new park and play something' is vague; 'go to it and play there' is clearer. Also 'play something' is non-idiomatic; specify an activity or use 'play there'.