Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar (past tense and articles), clarify meaning, and make answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then give one or two specific supporting details linked logically.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. They helped me overcome shyness because I met many friendly children there, and we often played games like tag and football every weekend.

提案: This answer is clear but short and repetitive. Use a full topic sentence, add a brief reason and mention any exceptions or what you do instead, using linking words (however, although, because).

例: I still like parks, but I don't go very often because I am busy with work and studies. However, I sometimes visit a nearby green space on weekends to relax and exercise.

提案: Fix grammar (articles, tense) and be more specific about why you want more parks. Provide one or two concrete benefits and link them clearly with words like because or for example.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they improve air quality and provide safe places for families to exercise. For example, a new park could include walking paths and playgrounds that encourage people to be outdoors.

提案: Use present/future tense and give a clear reason and a specific park name or type. Avoid repetition and improve sentence structure with linking words like because or so that.

例: Yes, I would like to visit Central Park in New York in the future because I have seen many photos of its large lawns and cultural events. I think it would be interesting to compare it with parks in my own city.

× I like to go to park when I was a shy and I have a lot of friends there.

✓ I liked going to the park when I was shy, and I had a lot of friends there.

Mixing present and past tenses: 'I like' conflicts with 'when I was'. Use past tense 'liked' and 'had' for past habits. Also article 'the' is needed before 'park' when referring generally to parks visited as a child; use 'the park' or 'parks' depending on meaning. Remove 'a' before 'shy' and use adjective 'shy' without article. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense for childhood activities and include appropriate articles.

× I don't really go to parks now because I don't have enough time to go there.

✓ I don't really go to parks now because I don't have enough time.

The sentence uses present simple correctly to describe current habits, so main issue is redundancy: 'to go there' repeats 'go to parks'. Remove the unnecessary phrase. No tense change needed; keep present simple. Ensure clarity and conciseness.

× I would like to see more parks in my city because now in my city I didn't see so many park and I like the environment.

✓ I would like to see more parks in my city because I haven't seen many parks here, and I like green spaces.

Mixed tenses and articles: 'I would like' (conditional) is fine, but 'now in my city I didn't see' incorrectly uses simple past 'didn't see' for a present situation—use present perfect 'haven't seen' to describe experience up to now. 'so many park' requires plural 'parks' and 'so many' is awkward; 'many parks' is better. 'the environment' is vague; 'green spaces' or 'the environment here' is clearer. Keep tense consistent with desire and current observation.

× I wanted to go to the park in New York or some country that not in my country because in my country I have been there so many park in my city.

✓ I would like to go to a park in New York or to another country that is not my own, because in my country I have been to many parks in my city.

Tense and modal consistency: the question asks about future desires, so 'I would like' is better than past 'I wanted'. Articles and prepositions: use 'a park' and 'to another country' and include 'is' in 'that is not my own'. Use present perfect 'have been to' for experiences up to now, and plural 'many parks'. Also correct word order: 'in my city' placed after 'parks' is clearer. Maintain modal for future desire and correct prepositions and articles.