Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần sửa ngữ pháp cơ bản và dùng từ chính xác; tránh lặp từ và nói rõ hơn bằng câu chủ đề + chi tiết cụ thể. Ví dụ: dùng thì quá khứ đúng (I liked), sửa ‘past’ thành ‘park’ và thêm kết nối (because/so) để câu tự nhiên hơn.

例: Yes, I liked going to parks as a child because the air was fresh and there were lots of flowers and trees, which made it a pleasant place to play.

提案: Chú ý phát âm chính xác từ vựng (park), tránh lặp từ (I can I can) và dùng liên từ hợp lý. Nên bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rồi bổ sung lý do cụ thể và một ví dụ ngắn.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks; when I feel stressed I often visit a nearby park to walk and enjoy the scenery, which helps me relax.

提案: Sửa từ sai (pets → parks), ngữ pháp số nhiều/động từ (city have → city had/were/has), và nói rõ lợi ích cụ thể. Dùng cấu trúc điều kiện hợp lý (if there were/if my city had).

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because if there were more green spaces, I could visit them anytime to relax or exercise.

提案: Sửa lỗi từ vựng (animals pet, CD views) và loại bỏ lặp từ. Nên nêu tên hoặc mô tả công viên cụ thể và lý do rõ ràng. Dùng câu đơn ngắn gọn kèm chi tiết cụ thể về hoạt động bạn muốn làm.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the botanical gardens in the future because they are very beautiful and I could walk around the ponds and flower beds to relax.

× Yes, when I was a child I very like going to the past because in the past the area very fresh and it has lots of flowers and trees.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I really liked going to parks because the area was very fresh and had lots of flowers and trees.

Errors: incorrect present tense 'very like' should be past 'really liked' since speaker refers to childhood; 'the past' is incorrect noun choice and should be 'parks'; 'the area very fresh' missing verb 'was'; 'it has' should be past 'had' to match past timeframe. Suggestion: use past tense consistently for past experiences (subject + past verb), replace vague nouns with correct ones ('parks'), and include appropriate adverbs ('really').

× Oh yes, when I feel stressed I often go to the past to unwind and see the views so I can I can feel more comfortable.

✓ Oh yes, when I feel stressed I often go to parks to unwind and see the views so I can feel more comfortable.

Errors: 'the past' is incorrect; should be 'parks' (places). Repetition 'I can I can' is redundant. Tense 'feel' and 'go' are present and correct for current habits. Suggestion: use the correct noun for location and avoid repeated phrases; keep consistent present tense for habitual actions.

× Yes, I like to see more pets in my city because if my city have many paths, I can go to the path anytime, anywhere.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because if my city had many parks, I could go to them anytime, anywhere.

Errors: 'pets' is wrong word, should be 'parks'; 'my city have' violates subject-verb agreement and tense—use 'had' in conditional; 'paths' vs 'parks' confusion—use 'parks'; 'can' should be 'could' in hypothetical conditional. Suggestion: use correct vocabulary, match verb forms for second conditional (if + past, would/could + base), and maintain plural agreement with 'parks' and 'them'.

× Yes, I would like to go to the animals pet because it's very beautiful and I can and I can go around this CD views so I can feel unwind.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to the animals' park because it's very beautiful and I can walk around the scenery to relax.

Errors: 'animals pet' unclear; likely 'animal park' or 'zoo' — corrected to 'animals' park'; 'I can and I can' repetition; 'go around this CD views' unclear phrase—replaced with 'walk around the scenery'; 'feel unwind' incorrect collocation—use 'relax'. Suggestion: choose correct noun ('animal park' or 'zoo'), avoid repetition, use natural collocations ('relax', 'walk around the scenery'), and keep modal verbs appropriate for desire (would like + infinitive).