Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Perbaiki tata bahasa dan kelancaran: gunakan kalimat topik yang jelas, bentuk waktu yang konsisten (past tense untuk masa lalu), dan hilangkan kata-kata yang tidak perlu. Sertakan detail spesifik dengan penghubung (because, so, for example). Contoh saran konkret: ubah "I like going to parks because it makes me feel happy and relax" menjadi "I liked going to parks because they made me feel happy and relaxed." Tambahkan nama tempat dengan penjelasan singkat.

例: Yes, I did. I liked going to parks when I was a child because they made me feel happy and relaxed. For example, I often went to Tabatha Park near my home, where I played on the swings and had picnics with my family.

提案: Perbaiki kesinambungan dan tata bahasa: gunakan present tense untuk kebiasaan sekarang, hindari frasa tidak jelas ("the reasons him too"), dan gabungkan informasi lokasi secara rapi. Gunakan kata penghubung seperti "because" dan "for example" serta berikan detail konkret tentang kegiatan saat ini.

例: Yes, I do. I still visit parks regularly because they help me relax after work. For example, I often go to Samantha Park near my home, where I walk on the path and sit on a bench while reading.

提案: Perkuat alasan dan hubungan ide: jelaskan mengapa Anda menyukai pohon dan warna hijau (mis. merasa tenang, udara segar). Gunakan penghubung (because, so, for example) dan pastikan informasi contoh relevan mendukung pendapat Anda.

例: Yes, I would. I would like more parks because I enjoy being surrounded by trees and greenery, which helps me feel calm and breathe fresher air. For example, Bugle Park near my house is small but peaceful, and I often walk there to clear my mind.

提案: Perbaiki kejelasan dan struktur: mulai dengan kalimat topik yang jelas, gunakan future tense untuk rencana mendatang, dan jelaskan alasan spesifik mengapa ingin mengunjungi taman tersebut. Hindari frasa kacau; gunakan kata penghubung seperti "because" atau "because of" serta berikan contoh aktivitas yang ingin dilakukan di sana.

例: Yes, there are. I would like to visit Sally Park in the future because it is famous for its flower gardens and scenic views. I hope to go there to take photos, walk along the trails, and enjoy the scenery with friends.

× Yes I did when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I did when I was a child.

The sentence is grammatically correct but needs a comma after Yes for punctuation and natural speech rhythm. Keep past tense 'did' because the question refers to childhood.

× I like going to parks because it makes me feel happy and relax.

✓ I liked going to parks because they made me feel happy and relaxed.

Mixed tense and verb form errors: the speaker refers to childhood (past), so use past tense 'liked' and 'made'. 'Parks' is plural so use 'they' not 'it'. 'Relax' should be the past participle/adjective 'relaxed'. Suggestion: maintain past tense and agreement: 'I liked... they made me feel happy and relaxed.'

× I'm going to parks in my country at Tabatha Park at location.

✓ I used to go to parks in my country, particularly Tabatha Park.

The original mixes present progressive and unclear phrase 'at location'. For past habit use 'used to'. Remove redundant preposition 'at location' and specify the park clearly. This fixes tense and awkward phrasing.

× Yes I do, I'm still going to parks right now because the reasons him too makes me feel happy and relaxed.

✓ Yes, I do. I still go to parks because they make me feel happy and relaxed.

Avoid present progressive 'I'm still going' for habitual action; use simple present 'I still go'. 'The reasons him too makes' is ungrammatical - use 'they make' to refer to 'parks'. Ensure subject-verb agreement: 'they make' not 'makes'. Use punctuation to separate sentences.

× There was a park called Samantha Park near my home and at location Bugle bus in the.

✓ There was a park called Samantha Park near my home, and also Bugle Park was nearby.

The original has word order and unclear 'at location Bugle bus in the.' Reconstruct the sentence to a clear structure: mention Samantha Park and then Bugle Park. Remove extraneous words and correct park name placement.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I like trees and my favorite color is green.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I like trees and my favorite color is green.

This sentence is correct. 'Would like' expresses desire appropriately and other parts are grammatical. No change needed.

× For example, there is a small park called Bugle Park near my house where I often walk.

✓ For example, there is a small park called Bugle Park near my house where I often walk.

Sentence is correct: 'there is' appropriately introduces the park and tense matches present habit 'I often walk'. No change required.

× Yes I have parks I want to go to in the future.

✓ Yes, there are parks I want to visit in the future.

More natural phrasing uses 'there are' to introduce existence of parks and 'visit' instead of 'go to' for formality. Also add comma after Yes.

× Is Sally Park not near my house because it was popular and good few in the parks for example.

✓ Sally Park is not near my house, but it was popular and one of the nicer parks, for example.

Original has incorrect word order and unclear phrases. Change question form 'Is Sally Park not...' to statement 'Sally Park is not...', use conjunction 'but' to connect contrasting ideas, and replace 'good few in the parks' with 'one of the nicer parks'. Clarify meaning and correct sentence structure.