Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Correct tense and articles (e.g., “When I was a child”). Avoid unnecessary words.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played on the swings and slides with my friends, and we would spend hours pretending the playground was an adventure island.

提案: Make sentences grammatically correct and coherent. Give one clear reason and a specific habit or frequency. Use linking words like “because” or “so” and correct verb forms (e.g., “I go,” “I walk”). Remove redundancy.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are peaceful places to relax and get fresh air. For example, I usually go to the nearest park every morning to walk or jog for about 30 minutes.

提案: Answer directly and organise ideas: topic sentence + specific reasons. Fix grammar (e.g., “my area” not “my seat”), avoid repetition, and use linking words like “because” and “for example.” Provide one specific benefit.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my area because they add greenery and attract birds and flowers. For example, more small parks would give local families places to walk and children places to play safely.

提案: Clarify the park name and correct phrasing. State the park clearly, explain why you want to visit with specific details, and avoid unclear numbers. Keep it to two or three sentences with correct vocabulary (e.g., “botanical garden” instead of “plants park”).

例: Yes, I would like to visit the botanical garden near Ninth Street in the future because it has many different plant species, including colorful flowers and lotuses, and I enjoy learning about plants and taking photos there.

× Yes, I like going to parks.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was a child.

The examiner asked about past habit 'as a child', so the student should use past tense. 'Like' (present) is inconsistent. Use 'liked' and add 'when I was a child' for clarity.

× When I was child I used to play swings or slides with my friend on the ground.

✓ When I was a child I used to play on swings and slides with my friends on the playground.

Missing definite/indefinite article: 'a child' is needed. 'Play swings or slides' is incorrect collocation; use 'play on swings and slides'. 'Friend' should be plural 'friends' if general, and 'on the ground' is unnatural—use 'on the playground'.

× Yes, I still like going to parks now because the parks are a place to relax or get some fresh air.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks now because parks are places to relax and get some fresh air.

Unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'parks' when speaking generally; use plural agreement 'parks are places'. Use 'and' instead of 'or' to link activities.

× I usually go parks after walks.

✓ I usually go to parks after walks.

Missing preposition 'to' after 'go' when indicating destination. Use 'go to parks'.

× I just walking or jogging in the parks to for no.

✓ I just walk or jog in the parks for no particular reason.

'Just walking' lacks auxiliary or correct form; use base verb 'walk' to match present habitual action. Remove extra words 'to for no' and use phrase 'for no particular reason' for clarity.

× Yes, I would like see more parks in my seat because parks in there you could see flowers and trees and some little birds and when when you walk in the park you just get relaxed and to.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my area because there you could see flowers, trees and small birds, and when you walk in the park you just relax.

Missing 'to' after 'would like' ('would like to see'). 'Seat' is incorrect word choice; use 'area' or 'city'. Word order 'parks in there' is wrong; use 'there you could see'. 'Some little birds' -> 'small birds'. 'Just get relaxed and to' is ungrammatical; use 'just relax'.

× I want to give the plants park in nine in 19 in the future because you could see a lot of plants in there such like flowers and Lotus and the.

✓ I want to visit the botanical park in the future because you can see a lot of plants there, such as flowers and lotuses.

Sentence has several problems: 'want to give' is wrong verb—likely 'want to visit'. Remove unclear numbers 'in nine in 19'. Use 'botanical park' or 'plant park' for clarity. Use present-future modals consistently: 'can' or 'will be able to'. 'such like' should be 'such as'. 'Lotus' plural is 'lotuses' or 'lotus flowers'.