Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and tense consistency, make answers more natural and concise, and avoid overgeneral statements. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Correct articles and verb forms (e.g., “As a child,” “I loved,” “I used to go”). Avoid absolute phrases like “without any exceptions.”

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, my favorite was the Summer Palace near my home in Beijing, and I used to visit it about twice a week because I enjoyed the lakes and gardens.

提案: Fix subject-verb agreement and awkward phrases, use clearer descriptions, and reduce repetition. Start with a direct statement, then give two precise details linked logically (e.g., “because” or “and”). Use correct nouns (e.g., “skylines” or “city center”) and plural verbs.

例: Yes, I still enjoy parks. My current favorite is Shakespeare Regional Park because its rolling fields and grazing cows offer peaceful views, and you can also see the city center skyline in the distance.

提案: Clarify the answer and avoid listing confusing or unrelated place names. Use proper prepositions and simple conditional phrasing. Give one clear example and explain why you want more parks (e.g., for recreation or community). Avoid mentioning unrelated details like getting a car unless it explains accessibility.

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city, especially one near North Oakland, because having a nearby green space would make it easier for families to exercise and relax.

提案: Correct minor errors and be specific about reasons. Use past tense correctly (e.g., “read in travel books”), and connect ideas with linking words like “because” or “so.” Give one or two concrete expectations about the parks (scenery, activities) rather than vague statements.

例: Yes, I would love to visit Huang Kim Lake Park and Westlake Park in Hanoi because I read in travel books that they have beautiful lakeside walks and traditional gardens, so I expect the scenery and local atmosphere to be impressive.

× As the child, my favorite park was Summer Palace, which is not far from my childhood home in Beijing.

✓ As a child, my favorite park was the Summer Palace, which was not far from my childhood home in Beijing.

Use 'a child' not 'the child' because speaker is one of many children (article error). 'Summer Palace' as a proper noun referring to a specific place in Beijing typically takes the definite article 'the'. Also adjust 'is' to 'was' to keep past tense consistent with 'my favorite park was'. Suggestion: use 'As a child' and 'the Summer Palace' and maintain past tense verbs for past time reference.

× I go to the Summer Palace twice a week without any exceptions.

✓ I went to the Summer Palace twice a week without any exceptions.

The context is describing childhood habits introduced by 'As a child' and 'was', so the habitual action should be in the past ('went'), not present. Suggestion: match verb tense to the time frame already established in the sentence.

× Yes, I still love going to parks. Now my current favorite park is the Shakespeare Regional Park.

✓ Yes, I still love going to parks. My current favorite park is Shakespeare Regional Park.

'Now' and 'current' are redundant; remove one. Use proper name without 'the' unless the official name includes it. Maintain present tense 'is' for current preference. Suggestion: avoid redundant time adverbs and definite article when not part of the official name.

× The beautiful scenery there take my breath away.

✓ The beautiful scenery there takes my breath away.

'Scenery' is an uncountable singular noun and requires the singular verb 'takes'. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement by matching singular subjects with singular verbs.

× There's shapes and cows grazing, as well as a splendid view of the occupant CBD.

✓ There are shapes and cows grazing, as well as a splendid view of the nearby CBD.

Use 'There are' for plural 'shapes and cows' (there be issue/subject-verb agreement). 'Occupant' is incorrect here; use 'nearby' or 'the central/urban' to describe the CBD. Suggestion: use 'There are' for plural subjects and choose appropriate adjective ('nearby') to modify 'CBD'.

× I go there twice a week.

✓ I go there twice a week.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no preposition error. No correction needed.

× Yes, I'd like to see the Window Home Regional Park located in North Oakland, across the ***** Regional Park located in East Auckland and with the digital park as soon as I get the new car.

✓ Yes, I'd like to see Window Home Regional Park in North Oakland, the ***** Regional Park in East Auckland, and the Digital Park as soon as I get a new car.

Simplify and parallel the list structure, remove unnecessary prepositions 'located' when location can be expressed more naturally with 'in'. Use 'a new car' not 'the new car' because the car is not previously specified (article error). Use parallel commas and conjunctions for clarity. Suggestion: keep parallel structure in lists and choose correct articles.

× Yes, I would really like to go to the Huang Kim Lake Park as well as the Westlake Park located in Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam.

✓ Yes, I would really like to go to Huang Kim Lake Park as well as Westlake Park in Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam.

Drop unnecessary definite articles if the official park names do not include them; simplify 'located in' to 'in' for concision. The modal 'would like to' already expresses future desire; no additional future tense change needed. Suggestion: use concise prepositional phrases and correct article usage for proper nouns.

× I have read about these two parks down travel books before.

✓ I read about these two parks in travel books before.

'Read' in simple past fits with 'before' better than present perfect 'have read' when giving a past time reference; also 'down travel books' is incorrect preposition and word order—use 'in travel books'. Suggestion: use 'in' to indicate source and match tense to the time reference (simple past with 'before' or use present perfect without a specific past time).

× I'm sure that the scenery will impress me.

✓ I'm sure that the scenery will impress me.

This sentence is correct: 'will' is appropriate for confident prediction about the future. No correction needed.