Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity and grammar, avoid rhetorical questions that sound casual, and give a concise topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details. Use correct prepositions and pluralization (e.g., “I went to a variety of parks,” “I went there with my friends”). Keep to 2–3 sentences to sound natural and focused.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My favorite was a park in Tunaloo where I often went with my friends to play football and basketball, and we spent whole afternoons there enjoying different games.

提案: Be more fluent and correct grammar: use contractions sparingly and avoid hesitations like “uh.” Structure answer with a clear topic sentence and one specific reason plus an example. Use proper articles and plurals (e.g., “there aren’t many green spaces,” “I go to forests or inner-city parks”).

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Because Ankara has few green spaces, I visit any nearby forest or inner-city park whenever I can to relax and get fresh air.

提案: Avoid unclear or incorrect phrases (e.g., “human species, moon species”). Provide a direct opinion and support it with a clear reason and a short consequence. Use formal vocabulary for IELTS (e.g., “people,” “green spaces,” “beneficial for mental health”).

例: Definitely. People need green spaces because they reduce stress and improve mental health, so I would like to see more parks in my city to provide places for relaxation and exercise.

提案: Be concise and correct factual or conditional language. State the park and one reason you'd like to visit. Avoid repetition and filler words like “uh” and redundant phrases (“my girlfriend… because my girlfriend”).

例: Yes, I would like to visit Hyde Park in London because it is one of the largest parks in Europe and I think it would be great to walk around the Serpentine and relax there with my girlfriend.

× When I was a child, I went a variety of parks, but one of them was my favorite, which is a cool park located in Tunaloo and I went to there with my peers, with my friends to hang out.

✓ When I was a child, I went to a variety of parks, but one of them was my favorite: a cool park located in Tunaloo, and I went there with my peers and friends to hang out.

Errors: 'went a variety of parks' uses incorrect verb and missing preposition 'to' and 'a variety of' needs plural noun — 'parks' is fine but phrase ordering is wrong. 'I went to there' is incorrect; use 'I went there' or 'I went to the park'. Also redundant 'with my peers, with my friends' should be 'with my peers and friends'. Improve by placing 'to' before 'a variety of parks' and removing 'to' before 'there', and combine similar phrases. Use punctuation to separate clauses.

× To be honest, I like going park nowadays because in Ankara there aren't lots of green spaces that I can go.

✓ To be honest, I like going to parks nowadays because in Ankara there aren't many green spaces I can go to.

Errors: Missing preposition 'to' after 'going' and incorrect noun number/quantifier 'lots of' with negative context is better as 'many'. Also 'that I can go' needs preposition 'to' at the end or rephrase to 'I can go to'. Suggestion: use 'going to parks', 'many green spaces', and 'go to'.

× That's why whenever I have a chance, I go, uh, forest.

✓ That's why whenever I have a chance, I go to the forest.

Error: Missing preposition 'to' before 'forest' and missing article 'the' depends on context; general activity prefers 'the forest' or 'forests'. Use 'go to the forest' to be grammatical.

× There is not lots of forest in Ankara but cool park, same inner park are quite quite good places to go there.

✓ There are not many forests in Ankara, but cool parks and inner-city parks are quite good places to go.

Errors: Subject-verb agreement: plural 'forests' requires 'are' not 'is'. 'not lots of' is colloquial and awkward in negative contexts; use 'not many'. 'cool park, same inner park' is ungrammatical—use plural 'cool parks and inner-city parks'. Remove redundant 'there'.

× Definitely, because human species, moon species, belong to green areas.

✓ Definitely, because humans belong to green areas.

Errors: 'human species' and 'moon species' are incorrect and unclear. Use 'humans' to refer to people. 'Moon species' is erroneous and should be removed. Keep subject concise: 'humans belong to green areas'.

× When we get away from the park's green areas forests, that makes us stressed and anxious.

✓ When we get away from parks' green areas and forests, it makes us stressed and anxious.

Errors: 'park's green areas forests' is muddled and missing conjunction/preposition. Use plural possessive 'parks' if speaking generally, and connect 'green areas and forests'. Use 'it makes us' rather than 'that makes us' for natural reference.

× That's why I wanna see a variety of parks in my city.

✓ That's why I want to see a variety of parks in my city.

Error: Informal contraction 'wanna' is not standard written English; use 'want to'. The verb form is correct otherwise. Suggest using 'want to' in formal responses.

× Yes, one of them is Hyde Park. Hyde Park is located in London, which is considered the biggest park in Europe and if I had a chance at visit there uh with my, a girlfriend because my girlfriend also wants to uh hang out over there yes Hyde Park.

✓ Yes, one of them is Hyde Park. Hyde Park is located in London and is considered one of the biggest parks in Europe. If I had the chance, I would visit it with my girlfriend because she also wants to hang out there.

Multiple errors: 'the biggest park in Europe' may be exaggerated; safer phrasing 'one of the biggest parks'. 'if I had a chance at visit there' is ungrammatical—use 'if I had the chance, I would visit it' (conditional structure). 'my, a girlfriend' is wrong pronoun/article combination; use 'my girlfriend' or 'a girlfriend'. 'hang out over there' should be 'hang out there'. Use conditional 'would' after 'if I had the chance'.