Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I liked going to parks), then add one or two specific details (name, what you enjoyed). Avoid hesitation sounds and incomplete sentences. Use linking words like “for example” or “because” to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I liked going to parks as a child. For example, I often visited Madaripur Lake Park because it was very clean and beautiful, and I enjoyed feeding the ducks and playing on the swings there.

提案: Answer the question directly (Yes/No) then explain briefly why. Be specific about what you see or do in parks now, and avoid vague words like “helped me” without explanation. Use linking words such as “because” or “so” to clarify reasons.

例: Yes, I still like going to parks now because they are peaceful and offer pleasant views. For example, at Lake Park I often walk among the shops and enjoy watching people, which helps me relax after a busy day.

提案: Give a clear opinion and support it with a reason. Say whether you want more parks and explain why (e.g., for green space, exercise). Avoid confusing or irrelevant statements and use a linking phrase like “because” or “so”.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because we only have one large park now. More parks would provide green spaces for exercise and help reduce crowding at the existing park.

提案: Be concise and specific: name the park, state why you want to visit, and give one or two supporting details. Use linking words like “because” and avoid repetition and filler words.

例: Yes, I would like to visit Dhaka Lake Park because I have heard it is very beautiful and large. Many people go there for boating and picnics, and I want to enjoy the scenery and try the boat rides.

× Uh, yes, uh, one day I went to a park, this park name is Madaripur Lake Park.

✓ One day I went to a park called Madaripur Lake Park.

The original is a run-on with incorrect noun phrase 'this park name is'. Use a relative construction 'called' to name the park; this produces a grammatically correct, concise sentence. Also remove filler 'uh' for clarity.

× It's very clear and, uh, beautiful park.

✓ It's a very clean and beautiful park.

'Clear' is not the correct adjective for describing a park; 'clean' fits better. Also the article 'a' is required before 'beautiful park'. The original also has mixed punctuation and filler words; remove them for correct structure.

× Uh, it, it's uh, located, uh, in.

✓ It is located in Madaripur.

The original sentence is incomplete and contains filler sounds. Provide the location and use a complete clause 'It is located in [place]'. If speaker meant the park's location within the city, specify that place.

× I see the park a lot of people and uh, I see uh, a lot of show, a lot of show, uh, lot of shop, uh, in Lake Park area.

✓ I see a lot of people, many shows, and many shops in the Lake Park area.

Original has incorrect word order and repeated fragments. Use quantifiers correctly: 'a lot of people', 'many shows', 'many shops'. Include articles where needed and use parallel structure in the list.

× Uh, it's helped me.

✓ It helps me.

'It's helped me' (present perfect) is unclear here; if the park continues to provide benefit, use present simple 'it helps me'. Choose tense that fits the ongoing effect.

× Yes, uh, uh. There is no more Lake Park Upper City.

✓ There is no other Lake Park in the upper part of the city.

'No more Lake Park Upper City' is ungrammatical. Use 'no other Lake Park' to indicate absence of another park, and clarify 'upper part of the city'. Also avoid filler words.

× It's very great and only one city.

✓ It is very nice and the only one of its kind in the city.

'Very great' is awkward in English; 'very nice' or 'wonderful' is better. 'Only one city' is unclear — likely meant 'the only one of its kind in the city'. Rephrase for clarity.

× Uh, yes, one day I will go to the Dhaka Lake Park.

✓ One day I will go to Dhaka Lake Park.

Sentence is acceptable but remove filler 'uh' and the article 'the' before proper park name unless the official name includes it. Keep future tense for planned action.

× I, I heard this Lake Park is very beautiful and largest many people, uh, go there and uh, uh, this environment is very, uh, well.

✓ I heard this lake park is very beautiful and that many people go there; the environment is very pleasant.

Original has multiple errors: 'largest many people' is incorrect quantifier order; use 'many people'. 'This environment is very well' is incorrect because 'well' is an adverb; use adjective 'pleasant' or 'nice' to describe environment. Also include 'that' to introduce the reported clause and remove fillers.