Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds (umm), correct tense and articles, and limit to about 3–4 sentences. Add one specific detail (age or frequency) and use a linking phrase for coherence.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I wanted to be a professional soccer player, so I went to the park with my friends almost every day to practice. We usually played until it got dark, which was a lot of fun.

提案: Correct grammar and reduce hesitations. Use accurate articles and plural forms, and give a clear reason with a linking word (but/however/although). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and be specific about how often you go now.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks and I like taking walks there. However, I am quite busy these days, so I only manage to go once or twice a month.

提案: Organize your response: give a clear opinion, then support it with a comparison and a specific reason. Avoid sentence fragments and filler words, use correct comparative structure ('fewer parks'), and combine ideas with linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: Yes, I would. I think there are fewer parks in Tokyo than in Canada, where I used to live, so I would welcome more green spaces. More parks would give me places to relax and practice soccer regularly.

提案: Be specific and concise: name the park (e.g., Central Park), correct article and preposition use, and describe one clear feature with a linking phrase. Remove fillers and avoid repetition. Limit to 3–4 sentences, including why you want to visit.

例: I want to visit Central Park in New York because it is very large and feels almost like a forest with many trees. I would love to play soccer there and explore its walking paths and lakes.

× I could play until it gets it got dark.

✓ I could play until it got dark.

The sentence mixes present and past tense ('gets' and 'got'). The context is past (as a child), so use past tense consistently: 'got'. Suggestion: keep all verbs in the same time frame when describing past events.

× I used to go to park with my friends to practice soccer.

✓ I used to go to the park with my friends to practice soccer.

In English, 'park' as a specific recreational place requires the definite article 'the'. Use 'go to the park'. Suggestion: use 'the' before commonly shared, specific places (the park, the school).

× I always enjoy taking a walks in the park.

✓ I always enjoy taking a walk in the park.

The phrase mixes singular 'a' with plural 'walks'. Use either 'taking walks' (no 'a') or 'taking a walk' (singular). Because 'always' fits both, choose 'taking a walk' for a single outing or 'taking walks' for habitual activity. Suggestion: match article and noun number.

× I try to invite friends to go for a walk before like evening but I'm quite busy with these days so I don't really go to the park.

✓ I try to invite friends to go for a walk in the evening, but I'm quite busy these days so I don't really go to the park.

Several problems: 'before like evening' is ungrammatical—use 'in the evening' for a time of day. 'with these days' should be 'these days' without 'with'. Maintain present simple for habitual actions ('try') and present continuous for current state ('I'm quite busy'). Suggestion: simplify time expressions and remove unnecessary words like 'like' in formal answers.

× I feel like uh, there are less parks in Tokyo compared to Canada.

✓ I feel like, uh, there are fewer parks in Tokyo compared to Canada.

Use 'fewer' with countable nouns ('parks'), not 'less'. 'Less' is for uncountable nouns. Suggestion: use 'fewer parks' when comparing countable items.

× I used to live. Umm, I wanna enjoy more parks I could visit and umm, I wanna practice soccer in the park.

✓ I used to live in Canada. Umm, I want to have more parks I can visit, and I want to practice soccer in the park.

The fragment 'I used to live.' lacks an object (where). The informal 'wanna' should be 'want to' and tense/modal form should be consistent: 'I want to have more parks I can visit' or 'I want more parks I can visit'. Also 'I could visit' should be 'I can visit' in the present desire context. Suggestion: complete the location for 'used to live', use 'want to' and choose correct modal ('can' for ability/possibility).

× One of them is uh, in the New York, It's a big park, uh, surround.

✓ One of them is in New York. It's a big park, surrounded by trees.

Do not use 'the' before most city names: say 'in New York' not 'in the New York'. 'Surround' is the wrong form; use past participle 'surrounded' to describe the park. Also complete the description with the object ('by trees'). Suggestion: omit 'the' with city names and use correct participle forms for passive descriptions.

× Like I would say it's like forest, like a lot of trees.

✓ I would say it's like a forest, with a lot of trees.

Use the article 'a' before 'forest' and the preposition 'with' to indicate what the forest contains. Avoid repetitive filler 'like'. Suggestion: 'like a forest' or 'it feels like a forest' and use 'with' to add details.

× I wanna, I wanna play soccer there.

✓ I want to play soccer there.

'wanna' is informal spoken contraction; in writing and formal correction use 'want to'. Also repeated 'I wanna, I wanna' is redundant. Suggestion: use 'want to' and avoid unnecessary repetition.