Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and grammatical: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition, use correct verb forms and articles, and add one specific detail as support. Keep it within 2–3 sentences. For example, say you enjoyed parks, mention an activity you did there, and explain why briefly.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played football and climbed trees with my friends, which made me feel free and happy because we could run around safely and be noisy.

提案: Answer directly, use present tense correctly, and avoid awkward phrasing. Give one specific reason or example and use linking words (for example, because, so) to connect ideas. Keep sentences concise and natural.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. For example, I often walk there in the evenings because the fresh air and green surroundings help me relax after a busy day.

提案: Answer the question directly (say yes or no), then give a specific reason why more parks would be good. Use linking words (because, so) and correct noun/verb forms. Avoid giving generic advice to the examiner and focus on your opinion about the city.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because many neighborhoods lack green spaces. More parks would give families places to relax and children safe areas to play.

提案: Be specific about which park you mean and why you want to visit it. Use clear time references and correct sentence structure. Limit to 2–3 sentences: state the park, explain what attracts you, and give a short reason or plan.

例: Yes. I would like to visit the university park near my campus because it looked very unusual the first time I saw it. The park has interesting sculptures and quiet study areas, so I plan to go there to read and relax next month.

× When I was a child I was really happy to go to the park because park is a really very great place to playing with your mates, friends and it is so.

✓ When I was a child I was really happy to go to the park because the park is a really great place to play with your mates and friends.

Missing definite article before 'park' and incorrect gerund form. Use 'the park' to refer to a specific place and 'to play' after 'place' (infinitive) rather than 'to playing'. Also remove redundant words like 'very' with 'really'.

× When I was a child I was really happy to go to the park because park is a really very great place to playing with your mates, friends and it is so.

✓ When I was a child I was really happy to go to the park because the park is a really great place to play with your mates and friends.

Incorrect use of 'playing' after 'place to'. After 'place to' we use the base verb (infinitive) without -ing: 'place to play'.

× In my country you could find there lots of park to spend your time freely.

✓ In my country you can find lots of parks where you can spend your time freely.

Incorrect article and pluralization: 'park' should be plural 'parks' when referring to many; 'lots of' requires plural noun. Also 'could find there' is awkward; use 'can find' and place adverb correctly.

× In my country you could find there lots of park to spend your time freely.

✓ In my country you can find lots of parks where you can spend your time freely.

'Could' suggests past or conditional; present general fact needs 'can'.

× When I go to the park, I feel myself so relaxing and comfortable here because it is really help to me feel myself.

✓ When I go to the park, I feel very relaxed and comfortable because it really helps me feel at ease.

'Feel myself' and 'help to me feel myself' are ungrammatical. Use 'feel relaxed' (adjective), 'helps me' (verb + object), and 'feel at ease' idiomatic phrase. Also adverb placement: 'very relaxed'.

× If you want to spend your time with your family members, you should go there and it will help you to help yourself in a peaceful environment.

✓ If you want to spend time with your family, you should go there and it will help you relax in a peaceful environment.

Unnecessary 'your' before 'time' and 'family members' is wordy; 'spend time with your family' is natural. 'Help you to help yourself' is awkward; use 'help you relax'. Preposition use: 'in a peaceful environment' is fine.

× In my country there are also lots of park.

✓ In my country there are also lots of parks.

Plural noun needed after 'lots of' — use 'parks'.

× Yeah, there are this type of park.

✓ Yes, there are parks of this type.

Incorrect demonstrative 'this' with plural 'are'. Use 'parks of this type' or 'this type of park' with singular subject. Also 'Yeah' -> 'Yes' for formality.

× When I go to the university, at the first glimpse I see a different park I have ever seen and I think about that I discovered there.

✓ When I first went to the university, at first glance I saw a different park from any I had ever seen and I thought I had discovered it.

Tense mismatch and awkward phrasing. Use past tense 'went', 'saw', and past perfect 'had ever seen' to compare earlier experiences. 'At the first glimpse' should be 'at first glance'. 'I discovered there' should be 'I had discovered it' or 'I thought I had discovered it'.