Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence variety. Start with a clear topic sentence, use correct tense and articles, reduce repetition, and add one specific detail. Keep responses concise (no more than 5 sentences).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. In the evenings the parks looked very beautiful and peaceful, and I enjoyed the calm atmosphere. I also liked the playground rides, especially the swings and the carousel. Those visits were a highlight of my week.

提案: Be direct and use correct present tense. Begin with a clear statement about current preference, then give two concise, specific reasons linked logically. Avoid filler words and repetition.

例: Not really. I rarely go to parks now because my schedule is very busy with university coursework and gym sessions. I also have household chores that take up my free time, so I usually prefer to rest at home.

提案: Answer directly and support your opinion with clearer reasons and examples. Use correct plural forms and articles, and avoid vague statements. If possible acknowledge a counterpoint briefly to sound balanced.

例: No, I don't think we need more parks in my city. There are only two parks—one small and one large—and the population is not very big, so land could be used for schools or healthcare facilities instead. However, I do think improving the existing parks would be useful.

提案: Use a clear future plan statement and give specific reasons with correct vocabulary. Correct grammar (future tense, countable nouns) and remove repetition. Mention one or two precise things you want to see.

例: Yes, I plan to visit the national park next year. I'm especially interested in seeing the native wildlife, such as deer and rare birds, and learning about the conservation programs that protect endangered plants. It would be a great chance to take photographs and learn more about nature.

× Yes, when I were younger, I like, I like to go park and play there because at the evening time park is very park looks very beautiful and with a calm nature and with a peaceful environment and there were so many rides are available in parks. Uh, that's why I love to go park when I was younger.

✓ Yes, when I was younger, I liked to go to the park and play there because in the evening the park looked very beautiful, calm and peaceful, and there were many rides available. That's why I loved going to the park when I was younger.

Multiple subject-verb agreement and tense issues: 'I were' should be 'I was' (singular subject with past tense), 'I like' should be 'I liked' to match past time reference, 'go park' needs the preposition 'to' and the article 'the' for a specific park, 'at the evening time' should be 'in the evening' (preposition usage), 'park is very park looks very beautiful' is malformed; use past tense 'looked', and 'there were so many rides are available' mixes past 'were' with present 'are'; use past 'were available'. Suggestions: ensure subject and verb agree in number and tense, use correct prepositions ('to the park', 'in the evening'), and keep tense consistent (past) throughout the sentence.

× Uh, well, that time I'm not, I don't like to go park because, uh, nowadays my schedule is very busy and I have to do so many task of my daily routine.

✓ Well, I don't like to go to the park now because my schedule is very busy and I have many tasks in my daily routine.

Tense and form errors: 'that time I'm not' is confusing and wrongly mixes past/time reference; use present 'I don't like' for current preference. 'go park' needs 'go to the park' (preposition and article). 'so many task' should be 'many tasks' (quantifier and plural noun). Also 'of my daily routine' is better as 'in my daily routine'. Suggestion: use present simple for current habits, correct prepositions and plural forms.

× And I have another work for to do like my academic study, my gym workout and, uh, my household work.

✓ I also have other work to do, such as my academic studies, my gym workouts, and my household chores.

Preposition and word choice errors: 'for to do' is incorrect; use 'to do'. 'another work' is unnatural; use 'other work' or list specific activities. 'academic study' should be plural 'academic studies' or 'my studies'. 'gym workout' can be plural if routine: 'gym workouts'. 'household work' is better as 'household chores'. Suggestion: use 'such as' to introduce examples and pluralize countable activities.

× And so I don't like to go parks now time.

✓ So I don't like to go to parks now.

Preposition and word order errors: 'go parks' needs 'go to parks'. 'now time' is redundant; use 'now'. Keep the present simple for general habits. Suggestion: use 'go to' before place nouns and avoid redundant time expressions.

× Well, where I live the population of my city is not much bigger and there is not much park.

✓ Well, where I live, the population of my city is not very large and there are not many parks.

Quantifier and number agreement issues: 'not much bigger' is unclear; use 'not very large' for population size. 'there is not much park' should be plural 'there are not many parks' because parks are countable. Also subject-verb agreement: 'there are' for plural. Suggestion: use 'many' with countable nouns and ensure verb agrees with plural subject.

× It's a 2 park available in our city, 1 is small and one is bigger.

✓ There are two parks available in our city; one is small and the other is bigger.

Number and subject-verb agreement: use words instead of numerals in formal speech 'two parks', and 'There are' matches plural 'parks'. '1 is small and one is bigger' should be 'one is small and the other is bigger' to be clear. Suggestion: use 'There is/are' correctly and 'the other' for the second item in a pair.

× And I don't like to see more park in my city because there is no need of any park.

✓ I don't want to see more parks in my city because I don't think we need more parks.

Quantifier and article issues: 'more park' should be 'more parks' (countable plural). 'there is no need of any park' is awkward; use 'we don't need more parks' or 'there is no need for more parks'. Suggestion: use 'need' + noun phrase correctly and pluralize countable nouns when appropriate.

× We can build any other useful building there instead of park.

✓ We could build other useful buildings there instead of parks.

Article, plural and modal choice: 'any other useful building' is awkward; use 'other useful buildings' to match idea of alternatives and plural parks. 'instead of park' needs plural 'parks' and 'instead of' followed by noun. Suggestion: use plural forms and consider 'could' for suggestion.

× Uh, yes, I had planned that I will go to National Park in future because there is a very interesting things are available, many of spacious animals and some plants which are going on exchanging and they are saved there and I want to explore all of them.

✓ Yes, I have planned that I will go to the National Park in the future because there are many interesting things to see, including numerous large animals and some plants that are being conserved there, and I want to explore them all.

Tense and verb form errors: 'I had planned that I will go' mixes past perfect and future; use 'I have planned that I will' or 'I plan to go' to express future intention. 'National Park' needs article 'the'. 'there is a very interesting things are available' mixes singular 'is' with plural 'things' and uses passive oddly; use 'there are many interesting things to see'. 'many of spacious animals' is incorrect word order and choice; use 'many large animals'. 'plants which are going on exchanging' is unclear; likely 'being conserved' or 'protected'. Suggestion: use consistent tense for plans, correct subject-verb number, use appropriate vocabulary for conservation.

× And there are also some animals I want to explore them.

✓ There are also some animals I want to see and learn about.

Pronoun redundancy and object use: 'some animals I want to explore them' repeats object both directly and with 'them'; use either relative clause 'animals I want to explore' (better: 'see and learn about') or 'I want to explore them'. 'Explore' is better applied to places or topics; for animals use 'see' or 'observe'. Suggestion: avoid redundant pronouns and choose appropriate verbs for animals.