Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời cần rõ ràng, ngữ pháp đúng và mạch lạc hơn. Hãy mở đầu bằng một câu chủ đề trả lời trực tiếp (Yes/No + lý do ngắn gọn), sau đó thêm 1-2 câu hỗ trợ với chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ hoạt động, cảm xúc) và dùng liên từ để nối ý. Tránh lặp từ và lỗi chia thì (quá khứ).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were my favorite places to play. I often met friends there and we would climb trees and swing together. Those times made me feel free and happy, so I have many fond memories of the parks.

提案: Câu trả lời nên đủ đầy hơn: trả lời trực tiếp rồi giải thích với thì chính xác và chi tiết cụ thể. Dùng liên từ để nối ý (because, so) và tránh câu quá ngắn; nêu tần suất hoặc hoàn cảnh hiện tại.

例: Not really, I rarely visit parks now because I am a student and I spend most of my time studying and researching. Occasionally I go for a short walk when I need a break, but I don't visit parks as often as I did before.

提案: Câu trả lời khá tốt về nội dung nhưng cần ngữ pháp và từ vựng chính xác hơn, đồng thời trình bày mạch lạc với liên từ thích hợp. Sửa lỗi số ít/ nhiều (park(s)), chia thì và dùng cấu trúc cụ thể hơn (for example, such as) để minh họa lợi ích.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they can improve air quality and provide safe places for families to socialise. For example, new parks with playgrounds and benches would encourage people to spend time outdoors and meet their neighbours.

提案: Ý tưởng tốt nhưng cấu trúc câu và từ vựng cần chỉnh: nêu rõ công viên bạn muốn đến, lý do cụ thể và dùng thì tương lai hợp lý. Tránh dịch cứng từ ngôn ngữ mẹ đẻ; dùng từ chính xác (Disneyland, theme park, after I am successful).

例: In the future I would like to visit Disneyland because it is a famous theme park with many shows and cartoon characters I loved as a child. I hope to go there after I am successful and can afford a long trip with my family.

× Yes, I totally want to go go to park as a child because park is greatly play to me.

✓ Yes, I really wanted to go to the park as a child because the park was a great place for me to play.

The sentence mixes present and past incorrectly; the question asks about childhood so past tense should be used (wanted, was). Also articles and word choice: add 'the' before park and use 'great place' instead of 'greatly play'. Suggestion: use consistent past tense and proper nouns/articles: 'I really wanted to go to the park as a child because the park was a great place for me to play.'

× Meet friends and play with them.

✓ I met friends and played with them.

Fragment lacks a subject and uses base verbs; for past narration use past tense verbs and include subject if needed. Suggestion: say 'I met friends and played with them.'

× In part I can climb tree and play swing with my best friend.

✓ In the park I could climb trees and play on the swings with my best friend.

Missing definite article 'the' and incorrect noun forms: 'tree' should be plural 'trees' or 'a tree', 'swing' should be 'swings' or 'the swing', and tense should be past ('could'). Use 'in the park' not 'in part'. Suggestion: 'In the park I could climb trees and play on the swings with my best friend.'

× Not really. Now I am a student so it take me whole time to learning and search information.

✓ Not really. Now I am a student so it takes all my time to study and search for information.

Subject-verb agreement: 'it' with singular verb should be 'takes'. 'Take' is incorrect. Gerund/infinitive: 'to learning' should be 'to study' or 'learning' without 'to'. Also word choice: 'whole time' -> 'all my time'; add preposition 'for' after 'search'. Suggestion: 'it takes all my time to study and search for information.'

× Yes I really want to see more park in my city because they will improve air quality of city and and it provide a safe place for families and people to interact.

✓ Yes, I really want to see more parks in my city because they will improve the city's air quality and provide a safe place for families and people to interact.

Plural/article errors: 'more park' should be 'more parks'. 'Air quality of city' needs possessive 'the city's air quality' or 'air quality in the city'. Redundant 'and and'. Subject-verb agreement: 'it provide' -> 'provide' matching plural 'parks' as subject. Suggestion: 'more parks... will improve the city's air quality and provide a safe place...'.

× In the future I want to go to Disneyland park John after I'm success because this is land park have a lot of show and cartoon character who I see when I was the choice.

✓ In the future I want to go to Disneyland Park, John, after I'm successful, because it is a theme park that has a lot of shows and cartoon characters that I saw when I was younger.

Multiple tense and word-choice issues: 'after I'm success' -> 'after I'm successful' (adjective) or 'after I succeed'. 'This is land park' -> 'it is a theme park'. 'Have' should be 'has' to agree with singular 'park'. 'Who I see when I was the choice' is unclear; corrected to 'that I saw when I was younger.' Use commas for names. Suggestion: 'after I'm successful... it is a theme park that has a lot of shows and cartoon characters that I saw when I was younger.'