Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (uh, hmm) and incorrect verb forms and articles.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I used to play there every day and chase butterflies in the flower gardens, which made me very happy.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and then specific reasons with appropriate vocabulary. Replace awkward phrases (e.g. "gorgeous peacefully") and explain what "extreme games" means. Use a linking word for clarity.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and have fun. For instance, I like walking quietly in green areas to clear my mind, and I also enjoy trying the adventure playground equipment, such as zip lines and climbing frames.

提案: Answer directly and give a reasoned explanation. Avoid repeating words and fillers, and correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles). If you mean you have enough parks, say so and explain why.

例: Not really — my city only has two parks, but they are well maintained and meet local needs. Therefore I don't feel an urgent need for more parks at the moment.

提案: Provide a clear and complete response: state which kind of park you'd like to visit and why. Use correct tense and avoid hesitations. Mention a specific scenario or reason to make it personal and concrete.

例: Yes, I would like to visit larger national parks in the future because I enjoy nature walks. For example, I hope to take my future family to a big park with trails and picnic spots so we can spend a relaxing day together.

× All child like going to park.

✓ All children liked going to parks.

The noun 'child' should be plural 'children' when referring to all children (singular/plural issue). Also 'park' should be plural 'parks' to match the general idea, and verb tense should agree with plural subject so use 'liked' if speaking about childhood (past). Improve by using correct plural nouns and matching verb tense and number.

× When I was child I playing park every day, garden playing butterflies.

✓ When I was a child I played in the park every day, running around and looking at butterflies in the garden.

This sentence has multiple tense and form errors. 'When I was child' needs the article 'a' ('a child'). 'I playing' is incorrect; the past simple 'I played' is required for a past habit. Prepositions are needed: 'in the park' and 'in the garden'. 'Playing butterflies' is unclear; rephrase to 'looking at butterflies' or 'watching butterflies'. Use past simple consistently for past habitual actions.

× Yes, I love going to park because it is so fun and makes me feel gorgeous peacefully.

✓ Yes, I love going to the park because it is so fun and makes me feel peaceful and happy.

Use the definite article 'the' with 'park' when referring to parks in general in this context ('going to the park'). 'Gorgeous peacefully' is ungrammatical and awkward; use appropriate adjectives/adverbs such as 'peaceful and happy'. Ensure adjective order and correct word choice.

× And the extreme games, it's so good, the best.

✓ I also enjoy the extreme rides; they are very exciting and some of the best attractions.

The original is fragmented and lacks clear subject-verb structure. 'The extreme games' needs a verb and clearer noun ('rides' or 'activities'). Replace fragments with a complete sentence and maintain subject-verb agreement and clear modifiers.

× No, I think in my in my country, uh has only two parks, but the parks is good, I think.

✓ No. I think in my country there are only two parks, but the parks are good, I think.

'Country' needs 'my country' without repetition. Use 'there are' for existence with plural 'parks' (there be issue and subject-verb agreement). 'The parks is' is incorrect; use 'the parks are' to agree in number with the plural noun.

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

✓ Are there any parks you want to visit in the future?

This sentence from the examiner is grammatical; however, 'go to' is acceptable but 'visit' is more natural. No correction required for grammar, but a stylistic improvement is provided. (If treating as student's intended reply, use this improved phrasing.)

× Yes, I still want to go to park in the future.

✓ Yes, I still want to go to the park in the future.

Add the definite article 'the' before 'park'. Using 'want to go' expresses future desire correctly; adding 'the' makes it grammatically natural.

× I think maybe uh, I wish I have a family like husband, child, uh, after we together go to a park in.

✓ I think maybe, I wish I had a family, like a husband and children, so that we can go to the park together in the future.

'I wish I have' is incorrect for expressing an unreal or desired situation; use past form 'I wish I had' (subjunctive-like use). 'Husband, child' need plural 'children' if referring generally, and articles 'a husband' and 'children' are needed. Word order and preposition placement are corrected: 'go to the park together' is natural. Use 'so that we can' or 'we could' to express ability/intent in future contexts.