Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: แนะนำให้ปรับโครงสร้างคำตอบให้เป็นประโยคหัวข้อชัดเจนแล้วตามด้วยรายละเอียดที่เชื่อมโยง ใช้รูปแบบกริยาให้ถูกต้องและหลีกเลี่ยงประโยคสั้นกระจัดกระจาย เช่น แก้ tense (spend → spent) และใช้ linking words เช่น "because", "so", "and" เพื่อทำให้คำตอบเป็นธรรมชาติและลื่นไหลมากขึ้น

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they made me feel relaxed and happy. I often went with my family, and we spent time playing games, having picnics, and singing together.

提案: คำตอบควรชัดเจนและให้เหตุผลที่เจาะจง ใช้โครงสร้างประโยคให้ถูกต้องและเชื่อมเหตุผลด้วย linking words เช่น "because" หรือ "so" หลีกเลี่ยงประโยคซ้ำซ้อนและคำที่ไม่สอดคล้อง (เช่น "I'm interested" ขัดกับประโยคก่อนหน้า) ให้ระบุความรู้สึกและตัวอย่างสถานการณ์สั้นๆ

例: Not really, I avoid parks now because they are usually crowded and I prefer quiet places. For example, I like walking in small neighborhood gardens or along river paths where it is peaceful.

提案: ประโยคควรตรงประเด็นและใช้คำที่ถูกต้อง (เช่น "disperse" แทน "disparate") และเชื่อมความคิดให้ชัดเจน ใช้โครงสร้างเช่น "Yes, I would because..." ตามด้วยเหตุผลที่เฉพาะ เช่น ลดความแออัดหรือเพิ่มพื้นที่สีเขียว

例: Yes, I would, because adding more parks would spread visitors out and make each park quieter and more enjoyable. More parks would also provide extra green space for exercise and relaxation.

提案: ควรให้เหตุผลที่เหมาะสมและสุภาพ เช่น พูดถึงกิจกรรมที่ต้องการทำ ใช้โครงสร้างเชื่อมประโยค และแก้ไวยากรณ์ (เช่น "there are many activities" แทน "is have many activities") หลีกเลี่ยงการกล่าวถึงคนอื่นในลักษณะที่ไม่เป็นกลาง เช่น "see handsome people" ให้พูดว่าอยากดูบรรยากาศหรือต้องการเข้าร่วมกิจกรรม

例: Yes, I would like to visit Lumpini Park in Bangkok because it offers many activities. I want to jog, join dance classes, and enjoy the lively atmosphere there.

× Yes I did. I felt relaxed and very happy. When I spend time with my family.

✓ Yes, I did. I felt relaxed and very happy when I spent time with my family.

The sentence mixes past tense ('did', 'felt') with present tense 'spend'. Use past tense 'spent' to keep consistent past narration. Suggestion: keep verbs in the same past timeline.

× We spend time together and play game, have a picnic and singing together.

✓ We spent time together, played games, had picnics and sang together.

Multiple issues: tense inconsistency and incorrect verb forms. 'Spend' should be 'spent' to match past tense. 'Play game' needs plural 'games'. 'Have a picnic' in past is 'had a picnic' (or 'had picnics'). 'Singing together' should be parallel past verb 'sang together'. Suggestion: make verbs parallel and use past tense.

× No, I don't like because I don't like to spend time around other people.

✓ No, I don't like going to parks now because I don't like spending time around other people.

After 'like' when talking about activities use gerund 'going' or 'spending'. Also 'to spend' is not wrong but 'don't like because' is awkward; include the activity for clarity. Suggestion: use gerunds for activities and include context 'going to parks now'.

× It's many people.

✓ There are many people.

Incorrect sentence structure and 'there be' usage. Use 'There are' with plural noun 'many people'. Suggestion: use 'There are' to describe existence of plural items.

× I don't like this.

✓ I don't like it.

Pronoun choice: 'this' is less natural referring to the situation; 'it' refers back to going to parks or crowds. Suggestion: use 'it' for general statements.

× I'm interested.

✓ I'm not interested.

Contradiction: previous sentences express dislike, so 'I'm interested' is incorrect. Use 'I'm not interested' to match meaning. Suggestion: ensure adjective reflects intended meaning.

× Yes, I think so because people will be disparate to other parks will be peaceful more.

✓ Yes, I think so because some parks will be less crowded and more peaceful.

Word choice and structure errors: 'disparate' is wrong here; meaning likely 'separate' or 'less crowded'. Use comparative structure 'less crowded and more peaceful'. Also fix word order. Suggestion: use 'less crowded' and 'more peaceful' for contrast.

× Yes, sure. I would like to visit Lumpini Park in Bangkok because I want to see handsome people and I want to dance, run and exercise is have many activities.

✓ Yes, sure. I would like to visit Lumpini Park in Bangkok because I want to see people and join activities like dancing, running and exercising.

Several issues: awkward phrase 'see handsome people' (better 'see people'), parallel verb forms required for activities: 'dance, run and exercise' should be parallel gerunds when following 'join activities like'. 'is have many activities' is ungrammatical; replace with 'join activities' or 'there are many activities'. Suggestion: use parallel gerunds and clear phrasing like 'join activities such as dancing, running and exercising'.