Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and grammatically correct: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and articles, and avoid unclear phrasing (e.g. “pay the slightest”).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. They had many playgrounds and swings which made them fun, and I often played there with neighborhood friends every weekend.

提案: Answer directly, use correct tense and natural linking words. Provide one clear reason and a specific detail about frequency or activities. Fix word order and articles.

例: Yes, I do. I usually visit the local park in the mornings or evenings for walking and jogging, and I try to go three or four times a week to stay fit.

提案: Give a clear opinion and support it with specific benefits using linking words (for example, because, so). Avoid unclear fragments and incorrect words (e.g. “requires parking”, “during”).

例: Yes, I would like more parks in the city because they provide green space for exercise and social activities; for example, families can picnic and people can hold small concerts or group fitness classes.

提案: Respond directly and use clear vocabulary. Explain your situation briefly and give a specific plan or preference for the future using linking words (e.g. because, although, however). Avoid wrong words like “pen”.

例: To be honest, I don’t have a specific park I want to visit because I am a busy PhD student; however, when I have more free time I would like to explore larger city parks farther from campus for relaxation and weekend walks.

× Yes I did when I were the shy.

✓ Yes, I did when I was shy.

The pronoun/verb agreement is incorrect: 'were' is plural or subjunctive; here past singular requires 'was'. Also 'the shy' is wrong; 'shy' is an adjective describing the speaker, so omit 'the'. Use 'I was shy'. Suggestion: Use 'I was shy' to describe past state.

× I literally love to go to the park because it's have many facility for kids and I really like to pay the slightest.

✓ I literally loved going to the park because it had many facilities for kids and I really liked to play on the swings.

Multiple errors: tense and verb form ('love' vs past context -> 'loved'), contraction 'it's have' is ungrammatical; use past 'it had' and plural 'facilities'. 'pay the slightest' is incorrect vocabulary; likely meant 'play on the slides' or 'play on the swings'. I used 'play on the swings' as a natural collocation. Suggestion: Match tense consistently and use correct plural for countable nouns (facility -> facilities); choose appropriate verbs and collocations (play on the swings/slides).

× Yes I do. When I grow up I usually go to park in the morning or evening.

✓ Yes, I do. When I grew up I usually went to the park in the morning or evening.

Tense mismatch: the question asks about now, but the student describes past habit. Use past tense 'grew up' and 'went' for habitual past actions. Also add 'the' before 'park' and keep tense consistent. Suggestion: Use past simple for past habitual actions (used to/could also say 'I usually go' if describing current habit).

× I go to the local park where near my house.

✓ I go to the local park near my house.

Redundant and incorrect relative clause 'where near my house' is ungrammatical. Remove 'where' and use the prepositional phrase 'near my house'. Suggestion: Use 'near my house' or 'that is near my house' if a relative clause is needed.

× For walking or jogging like the like exercise.

✓ I go there for walking or jogging; I like that kind of exercise.

Sentence fragment and awkward repetition 'like the like exercise' is unclear. Provide a full clause and correct collocation: 'that kind of exercise' or 'I like exercising there'. Suggestion: Avoid repeating words and make sure each sentence has a subject and verb.

× Yes, I think it's better for people if the city has many parks requires parking.

✓ Yes, I think it would be better for people if the city had many parks and required parking.

Mixed structures: 'has many parks requires parking' joins two clauses incorrectly. Use conditional 'would be better' for opinion about improvement, and combine clauses with 'and'; use past subjunctive 'had' in this conditional context. Also clarify 'required parking'. Suggestion: Use clear connectors and correct conditional forms.

× Be the past that people do many activities together like exercise or during or singing.

✓ In the past, people did many activities together, such as exercising, chatting, or singing.

Unclear and ungrammatical phrasing: 'Be the past' and 'during' misuse. Use 'In the past' and past tense 'did'. Use 'such as' to list activities and correct gerunds for activities (exercising, singing). Suggestion: Start with clear time phrase 'In the past' and use parallel gerund forms in a list.

× To be honest, now I don't have any pen to go to the park because now I'm a PhD student and I'm very busy, so I think the park that I can go is just local park.

✓ To be honest, I don't have time to go to the park because I'm a PhD student and very busy, so the only park I can go to is the local park.

'pen' is a wrong word; likely meant 'time'. Redundant 'now' and awkward clause order. Use 'have time' and 'the only park I can go to' with correct articles and prepositions. Suggestion: Use 'time' for availability, avoid repeating 'now', and include 'to' after 'go' when necessary.

× Near campus.

✓ It is near campus.

Sentence fragment lacking a verb and subject. Make it a complete sentence by adding 'It is'. Suggestion: Ensure sentences have at least a subject and a verb.