Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更直接，并注意语法时态和人称一致。避免多余重复，句子不要太长。可以先给出主题句表明喜欢与否，再用一两句具体细节支持，例如谁陪伴、做了哪些活动和当时的感受。注意过去时态（went, was）和单复数形式（facilities）。

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went with my parents and we would have picnics, play on the swings and feed the ducks. Those outings were special because there were few entertainment options near our home, so the park was our main place to relax and have fun.

提案: 回答要用第一人称描述自己的情况，保持时态一致并减少停顿词（uh）。句子应简洁清楚，先给出现在是否喜欢的结论，再解释原因并提供具体例子（比如工作忙、周末短暂时间）。注意正确使用现在完成或一般现在时和过去时（can go / could go / went）。

例: I still like parks, but I rarely visit them now. As an adult I have a busy schedule with work and study, so I usually only go on weekends or holidays when I have free time.

提案: 回答要条理清晰，使用连接词（for example, because, therefore）使论点连贯。提供具体原因并扩展细节（例如降温、改善空气质量、供居民休闲）。避免无意义或不相关的词如“Souvenirs”。

例: Yes, I would. More parks would provide more greenery, which helps lower temperatures in summer and improves air quality. They also offer places for people to exercise, relax and socialize, which would benefit the whole community.

提案: 回答时先明确想去的公园类型，再给出具体理由和细节（例如安静、植物多、有散步小道）。避免含糊表达和重复词，使用条件或愿望句（I would like a quiet park with...）。保持语句简洁不超过五句。

例: Yes, I would like to visit a quiet, well-designed park in the future. Ideally it would have lots of native plants, peaceful walking paths and seating areas, and not be too crowded so I could relax and enjoy nature.

× He is surely When I was very young, I went to the park with my parents.

✓ Surely, when I was very young, I went to the park with my parents.

句子开头多了不合适的词序和多余的“He is”。应该把肯定词（surely）放在句首或插入句中，并删除不相关的主语，使句子结构完整、通顺。建议注意句首副词位置并避免插入无关主语。

× I was a cherished memory because at that time we don't have a lot of entertainment facility around our location.

✓ It was a cherished memory because at that time we didn't have a lot of entertainment facilities around our area.

原句时态混用：主句用过去时（was），从句却用现在时（don't），应保持过去时一致。名词复数形式和词汇搭配也需调整（facilities, area）。建议把从句改为过去式并使用恰当名词形式。

× So the park will be just a good choice to have.

✓ So the park was a good option to go to.

语境为过去，须用过去时（was）。此外“choice to have”搭配不自然，改为“option to go to/visit”。建议根据语境选择正确时态和自然搭配。

× Well, after become an adult, you will, uh, you will face, uh, a very strict time management and, uh, you need to pay more time in working and studying and I believe that you won't have a lot of time to spend on entertainment.

✓ Well, after becoming an adult, you will face very strict time management, and you will need to spend more time working and studying, so I believe you won't have much time for entertainment.

原句中不定式短语（after become）形式错误，应为动名词或不定式结构（after becoming/after you become）。另外“pay more time in working”搭配不当，改为“spend more time working”。并保持将来时一致。建议学习常见短语搭配（spend time doing）和after后接的正确形式。

× So, uh, there were just few chances I can went to the park.

✓ So, there were just a few chances I could go to the park.

原句时态和助动词使用错误：主句是过去时（were），从句应使用过去情态“could”而不是现在或过去式“can went”。同时“few”前需加不定冠词“a few”。建议注意情态动词和动词原形/过去式的搭配，保持时态一致。

× Yeah, of course, the more parks means more green plants and that will cut down the high temperature when the summer comes and the green things, things will just relax.

✓ Yeah, of course, more parks mean more greenery, which will reduce high temperatures in summer and help people relax.

主谓不一致（the more parks means→more parks mean）。“green things, things will just relax”表述混乱，需改为“greenery...help people relax”。并调整句子使其更自然。建议注意主语为复数时动词用复数形式，以及用更准确的名词表达。

× Souvenirs. That will be very good.

✓ That would be very good.

“Souvenirs.”单独成句无上下文连接，且语气与前句不连贯。将其合并并用条件语气“would be”更符合表达假设或看法。建议避免孤立的单词成句，保持句子完整并注意语气。

× Surely I want to have some park, uh, built very, uh, sincerely and, uh, the, uh, the plants are very good and the most important, uh, it won't attract a lot of people because that you don't want to always travel in a crowded park.

✓ Surely I would like some parks to be built carefully, with good plants, and most importantly, they shouldn't attract too many people because I don't want to always visit crowded parks.

原句句子结构混乱、时态和语态混用（want to have some park built…），“sincerely”用词不当，应为“carefully”或“nicely designed”。“that you don't want to”从句也不符合英语结构，应改为“I don't want to”。同时需保持主语一致（parks...they）。建议理清主句与从句关系，使用合适形容词并统一时态与语态。

× That was also being important.

✓ That was also important.

“being”在此多余且不符合搭配，过去叙述中直接用“was important”。建议简化句子，去掉不必要的进行形式。