Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and correct tense and article errors.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I used to go for weekly walks with my sister and friends, and we often organized small games or picnics there, which we really enjoyed.

提案: Be clearer and more cohesive: state directly that you still enjoy parks, then add specific examples with linking words and correct phrasing. Reduce vague phrases and fix grammar (e.g., “one-dish party,” “each friend brought a different dish”).

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially in my free time. For instance, my friends and I organize a one-dish picnic once or twice a month; last time at my university each friend brought a different dish, which made the event very fun.

提案: Give a complete, well-structured answer: say yes or no, then explain with specific reasons and examples. Fix vocabulary (e.g., “greenery” instead of “Green Bay”), remove repetition, and finish the sentence properly.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because parks with varied plants and greenery help me relax and improve my mood. For example, the parks in Islamabad have many trees and flower beds, which make them calming places to unwind.

提案: Be concise and specific: state the park, explain why you want to visit with one clear reason, and describe your plan briefly with correct tense and prepositions. Avoid redundant phrases.

例: Yes, I want to visit Green Gables park in Dubai because I have heard its gardens and walking trails are beautiful. I plan to travel there with friends next year by plane and hope to spend a few days exploring the park.

× Yes, since my childhood I love to visit parks and I always go to walks when I am bored or when I am at home once or twice a week with my sister and friends.

✓ Yes, since my childhood I have loved visiting parks, and I always go for walks once or twice a week with my sister and friends when I am bored or at home.

The sentence mixes simple present with a time expression 'since my childhood' which requires the present perfect ('have loved'). 'Love to visit parks' is better as 'have loved visiting parks' for natural phrasing. 'Go to walks' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'go for walks'. Word order is adjusted for clarity.

× We plan different type of events and things and we sit there we really enjoy.

✓ We plan different types of events and activities, and we sit there and really enjoy ourselves.

Use plural 'types' after 'different' (quantifier issue). 'Things' is vague; 'activities' is more appropriate. Add conjunction 'and' and reflexive pronoun 'ourselves' to complete the clause and make it natural.

× Yes, I still love to go to the parks especially when I'm at home and when I have my some free time.

✓ Yes, I still love going to parks, especially when I'm at home and have some free time.

Use 'love going' instead of 'love to go to the parks' for natural present preference. Remove unnecessary article 'the' before parks when speaking generally. 'My some free time' is incorrect ordering; correct phrase is 'some free time'.

× So I plan with my friends for picnic.

✓ So I plan picnics with my friends.

'Plan with my friends for picnic' is awkward. Use the verb-noun collocation 'plan picnics with my friends' to convey the idea clearly and correctly.

× Like one dish party is once or twice a month.

✓ For example, we have a one-dish party once or twice a month.

Beginning with 'Like' is informal and ungrammatical here; 'For example' is appropriate. Reorder to 'we have a one-dish party' to form a complete sentence and remove extra 'is'.

× Last time we planned it in my university with my friends and each and every friend brought different.

✓ Last time we planned it at my university with my friends, and each friend brought something different.

Use preposition 'at' for locations like 'my university'. 'Each and every friend' is redundant; 'each friend' suffices. 'Brought different' is incomplete — add 'something' to indicate different items.

× Yes I really would love to experience different type of parks like in Islamabad there are various parks and full of Green Bay and different type of plants and tree trees.

✓ Yes, I would love to experience different types of parks. For example, Islamabad has various parks full of green areas and different types of plants and trees.

Use plural 'types' after 'different' (quantifier). The sentence was run-on and unclear; split into two sentences for clarity. 'Full of Green Bay' is incorrect—use 'full of green areas'. Remove duplicated word 'tree trees' and use 'plants and trees'.

× This really helps to relax my mind and help me to uplift my mood and makes me thrilled and whenever I.

✓ This really helps relax my mind, uplifts my mood, and makes me feel thrilled.

Avoid mixing infinitive 'to relax' with other verb forms; use parallel verbs: 'helps relax,' 'uplifts,' 'makes me feel.' The original ended abruptly 'and whenever I' so the fragment was completed to form a grammatical sentence.

× Yes, there is a park in Dubai.

✓ Yes, there is a park in Dubai.

Sentence is grammatically correct; kept as is. 'There is' correctly introduces existence of a park.

× The name of the park is Green Gables.

✓ The name of the park is Green Gables.

Sentence is correct; definite article use is appropriate before 'name of the park'.

× It is one of my most favorite park and I would love to visit it in my future and I am planning to do some work regarding it so I can go with my friends in next year by flight.

✓ It is one of my favorite parks, and I would love to visit it in the future. I am planning some arrangements so I can go with my friends next year by plane.

'Most favorite' is nonstandard—use 'favorite' or 'one of my favorite parks.' 'Park' should be plural after 'one of my.' 'In my future' should be 'in the future.' 'Do some work regarding it' is vague; 'planning some arrangements' is clearer. Use 'next year' without 'in' and 'by plane' instead of 'by flight.'