Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ภาษาไทย: คำตอบดีที่แสดงความรู้สึกและให้รายละเอียด แต่มีข้อผิดพลาดด้านไวยากรณ์ คำศัพท์ไม่เหมาะสม และประโยคยาวเกินไป ควรย่อให้กระชับ เชื่อมความคิดด้วยคำเชื่อมที่เหมาะสม และใช้รูปแบบผันคำกริยาถูกต้อง (เช่น “ride my bike”, “a fun way to relax”) นอกจากนี้ควรหลีกเลี่ยงความซ้ำซ้อนและคำที่ไม่เป็นธรรมชาติ เช่น “because it's what a fun way to relaxed.” ควรแก้เป็นประโยคสั้นๆ ที่ชัดเจน

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went there with my friends after school, and we would run around and ride our bikes. It was a fun way to relax and play together.

提案: ภาษาไทย: คำตอบตรงประเด็นแต่มีความไม่ชัดเจนด้านไวยากรณ์และการเชื่อมประโยค ควรใช้รูปแบบและคำศัพท์ที่ถูกต้อง เช่น “I’m busy and have many things to do” และใช้ tense สอดคล้องกัน (“it helps me relax”) รวมถึงใส่คำเชื่อมที่ดีขึ้นเพื่อความลื่นไหล เช่น “However” หรือ “But” และหลีกเลี่ยงการให้ข้อมูลซ้ำ

例: Not really — I’m quite busy these days and have many things to do. However, if I have time I go jogging in the park because it helps me relax.

提案: ภาษาไทย: คำตอบมีเจตนาดีแต่ใช้น้ำเสียงและคำศัพท์ผิดพลาด (เช่น “gains paid and natural things”) และประโยคซ้ำซ้อน ควรระบุเหตุผลชัดเจนว่าจะเป็นประโยชน์อย่างไร และใช้คำที่ถูกต้อง เช่น “green spaces” หรือ “natural areas” รวมทั้งหลีกเลี่ยงการพูดซ้ำว่า “when I have some free time” หลายครั้ง

例: Yes, I would. I think the city needs more green spaces and natural areas because they improve air quality and give people places to relax. If I had free time, I would go jogging or read a book in a park.

提案: ภาษาไทย: คำตอบพยายามให้รายละเอียด แต่มีข้อผิดพลาดเรื่องไวยากรณ์ คำศัพท์ไม่แม่น (เช่น “a park that have” ควรเป็น “has”, “a wildlife” ควรเป็น “wildlife” หรือ “wildlife areas”) และบางส่วนไม่เชื่อมโยงหรือไม่ชัดเจน (เช่น “pity lakes in grade 4”) ควรเรียงลำดับความคิดและใช้ประโยคสั้นๆ ชัดเจน พร้อมรายละเอียดเฉพาะเจาะจง เช่น สิ่งที่อยากทำในสวน

例: I don't have a specific park in mind yet, but I'd like to visit a park with many trees, a lake and abundant wildlife. I would enjoy walking there and taking photos of the scenery.

× I often went there with my friends after school and we would run around and ride our bike together because it's what a fun way to relaxed.

✓ I often went there with my friends after school and we would run around and ride our bikes together because it was a fun way to relax.

The sentence has several issues: 'ride our bike' should be plural 'ride our bikes' to match multiple riders (singular/plural issue, but fixed here by noun plurality). 'it's what a fun way to relaxed' is incorrect: 'it was a fun way to relax' uses the correct past tense 'was' and the base verb 'relax' after 'way to' (use infinitive without -ed). Use 'relax' (verb) not 'relaxed' (past participle). Suggestion: match number (bike -> bikes), use past tense 'was' for past habit, and use infinitive 'to relax' after 'way to'.

× Not really because I'm busy now and have much thing to do.

✓ Not really because I'm busy now and have many things to do.

'much thing' is incorrect English. Use 'many' with countable plural nouns and the plural noun 'things'. Also keep present tense 'have'. Suggestion: use 'many things' to express numerous tasks.

× If I do have time I actually go jogging in park because it helped me relax.

✓ If I do have time I actually go jogging in the park because it helps me relax.

Tense mismatch: 'If I do have time' is present; the result clause should be present habitual 'I go jogging' and present simple 'helps' to indicate general truth. Also include the article 'the' before 'park'. 'helped' (past) is incorrect here. Suggestion: use 'the park' and 'helps' for habitual actions.

× Yes I would. I think city should have more some gains paid and natural things.

✓ Yes I would. I think the city should have more green spaces and natural areas.

The original has garbled vocabulary: 'more some gains paid' is meaningless. Likely intended 'green spaces'. Also include the definite article 'the' before 'city'. 'Natural things' is better as 'natural areas'. Suggestion: use correct collocations like 'green spaces' or 'parks'.

× If I have some free time, I would go to jogging and read some book when I have some free time.

✓ If I have some free time, I would go jogging and read a book.

Do not use 'go to jogging' — correct form is 'go jogging' (verb + -ing). Also 'read some book' should be 'read a book' or 'read some books'. The sentence repeats 'when I have some free time' unnecessarily; simplify. Suggestion: use 'go jogging' and 'read a book'.

× I don't have specific park yet, but in the future I like to visit a park that have many trees, a lake and a wildlife.

✓ I don't have a specific park yet, but in the future I would like to visit a park that has many trees, a lake and wildlife.

Missing article 'a' before 'specific park'. 'I like to visit' should be 'I would like to visit' for future intention/politeness. 'that have' should be 'that has' to agree with singular 'park' (subject-verb agreement). 'a wildlife' is incorrect; 'wildlife' is uncountable, so no article. Suggestion: add articles, use 'would like', and match verb to subject.

× I think set a place for pity lakes in grade 4.

✓ I think there should be a place for pretty lakes in grade 4.

The original is unclear and ungrammatical. Likely intended 'there should be a place for pretty lakes in grade 4' (though the meaning is still odd). Use 'there should be' to introduce existence, and 'pretty' instead of 'pity'. 'Grade 4' may need context; keep as given. Suggestion: use 'there should be' + noun phrase and correct adjective spelling.

× Taking photo or going for a walk.

✓ I could take photos or go for a walk.

This fragment lacks a subject and verb; turn it into a complete sentence 'I could take photos or go for a walk.' Use plural 'photos' or 'a photo'. Suggestion: provide subject 'I' and modal/auxiliary to make it a full sentence.